I,(18 female) go on an annual camping trip with my dad’s side of the family. we go up, bbq, gather sticks swim in the lake. you know the usually stuff. but recently I’ve been dreading to go on the rips because my (50 female) aunt always has a problem with what I wear.
a little context. she’s a amazing aunt when it comes to me and my brother. but I feel like she always overly harsh on me. maybe its because im the last girl in my family. who knows? but every single time I go anywhere she always says that “you shouldn’t be wearing that” its to inappropriate” your too young to be wearing stuff like that” mind you most things I wear are crop tops and she’s having a problem with it. it always make me feel insecure about it and it got to the point were I was overthinking what I should wear.
I guess I overshared but here’s the thing im asking am I the ahole. I have a bathing suit that I haven’t worn for a year. I bought it with my money last year. just never wore it cause of what my family would say. but I decided to wear it because I really wanted to wear it before it doesn’t fit me. so we were getting ready to go to the lake. I change. put some shorts on but since it was hot I just let my bathing suit top on. I went to get something from her area of her tent. immediately, she akses me “what am I wearing?” I said calmy that this is my bathing suit. she says to go back and put a shirt on. and to learn to respect yourself. it made me feel very insecure that she thinks Im not respecting myself. she never said anything again. but she avoided me the rest of the trip. now im wondering am I the ahole for wearing something I knew she would be uncomfortable in. im just sick of always thinking about what to wear and how others will react to it so AITA?
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I,(18 female) go on an annual camping trip with my dad’s side of the family. we go up, bbq, gather sticks swim in the lake. you know the usually stuff. but recently I’ve been dreading to go on the rips because my (50 female) aunt always has a problem with what I wear.
a little context. she’s a amazing aunt when it comes to me and my brother. but I feel like she always overly harsh on me. maybe its because im the last girl in my family. who knows? but every single time I go anywhere she always says that “you shouldn’t be wearing that” its to inappropriate” your too young to be wearing stuff like that” mind you most things I wear are crop tops and she’s having a problem with it. it always make me feel insecure about it and it got to the point were I was overthinking what I should wear.
I guess I overshared but here’s the thing im asking am I the ahole. I have a bathing suit that I haven’t worn for a year. I bought it with my money last year. just never wore it cause of what my family would say. but I decided to wear it because I really wanted to wear it before it doesn’t fit me. so we were getting ready to go to the lake. I change. put some shorts on but since it was hot I just let my bathing suit top on. I went to get something from her area of her tent. immediately, she akses me “what am I wearing?” I said calmy that this is my bathing suit. she says to go back and put a shirt on. and to learn to respect yourself. it made me feel very insecure that she thinks Im not respecting myself. she never said anything again. but she avoided me the rest of the trip. now im wondering am I the ahole for wearing something I knew she would be uncomfortable in. im just sick of always thinking about what to wear and how others will react to it so AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I think I’m the asshole bc I knew the bathing suit would make her have problems but I didn’t care but now she’s avoiding me
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Wear what you want. It’s your body, your choice. NTA.
You are 18 love, as long as your PARENTS have no issue then do whatever you want!!!
NTA – your aunt shouldn’t have been commenting on your body to begin with, but especially as you’re an adult now. As long as nothing truly inappropriate is showing, then you shouldn’t worry about it. She’s being inappropriate.
NTA. let her be uncomfortable. She can look away or leave if it bothers her that much.
I believe respecting yourself also means knowing when you look good in something and showing it off.
In short, fuck that noise and wear what you want
I always find that either these comments come from very controlling religious-type folks, jealous women, or people who are uncomfortably aroused and want to hold you responsible for how they’re reacting. Not sure which party your aunt falls into, but hey, at least you’re wearing clothes. My family was paddleboarding and came around the corner of the river to a woman in pasties and a string bikini bottom. They were surprised, a little thrown off, and continued on their way. That was it, cause it’s just someone’s body. You’re comfortable, that’s all that matters.
NTA
NTA, you ARE respecting yourself because you’re wearing what YOU feel comfortable on yourself and no one should change that about you.
Trust me, some ppl in my family act like that too. even when im js wearing a tank top.
its your body not hers, you are allowed to wear whatever you want if it makes you comfortable and you shouldn’t feel pressured to wear something else just to make her feel better. why would she, a 50 year old woman be looking at you like that anyways? I know shes probably just worried about you and sorry if this is disrespectful towards her but you’re body ur choice.
You should try confronting her or talking to another family member like ur dad about it.
NTA tell her to stop making comments on your body
Have you spoken to your parents about her comments? Or how they make you feel? I’d start with that. Comments like these from a trusted family member can be very damaging to a young woman’s self esteem.
It sounds like her mind is stuck in the 50s and she has no business policing your body and what you wear. Wear what you like!
Tell her that your appearance is none of her business and that her comments are not welcome.
You are most definitely NTA. Wear what makes you comfortable and happy. I feel like it’s okay to gently let her know that she’s in charge of her own body and you’re in charge of yours. Have you discuss this with your dad? Could he maybe tell his (Sister? Sister-in-law?) to knock it off?
Firstly, no one has a right to police your clothing. On that basis, I’m saying NTA.
That said, INFO. What does the suit look like? One piece? Two piece? (Sounds like a two piece, since you mentioned putting on shorts but left the suit top on.) Is it a revealing style you wouldn’t wear on a beach around kids, or is she just puritanical about skin?
(I’m figuring the latter, since you’ve already said she has problems with your crop tops, but I feel it’s helpful to know what you’re dealing with.)
It appears that she’s the one who doesn’t respect you. Politely let her know. She’s welcome to her opinion, but you’re not a child, and she’s not in charge of what you wear.
Oh. NTA
> every single time I go anywhere she always says that “you shouldn’t be wearing that” its to inappropriate” your too young to be wearing stuff like that”
NTA – Sounds like she’d have an issue no matter what you wore, so why bother caring. You do you and let her take care of her offended sensibilities..
Maybe she knows there is someone in thr family that is a predator.
Assuming this isn’t some super revealing thong that would reasonably not be something to wear around kids, then NTA. If this is her house, it’s her rules, but even then it’s not her business. But this sounds like a campsite situation?
NTA. Auntie is projecting her insecurity on you by policing your outfits. She needs to stay in her lane.
Info— what kind of bathing suit are we talking? If it’s just a standard bikini, yeah she’s the asshole. But if it’s a micro, that’s a different story.
NTA, also awesome age when you discover many insecurities are adult’s around you and now you are the adult(est) in the room. Of course you don’t have so many years “of experience” but e.g. your aunt may have had 50 of ONLY the same self limiting or self inflicted experience.
Awesome age too to start deep conversations with people around you e.g. invite your aunt to share why she feels that way, what happened in her life, etc.
NTA. Let her avoid you. This is a trash taking itself out situation. Wear 100% exactly what you want. It’s not ok for anyone to body shame you or be nasty to you.
NTA.
You’re an adult and it was never your aunt’s job to decide what you wear in the first place.
And there is no reason for you to adopt your aunt’s reasoning as to why you like the suit.
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NTA You should tell her that you are respecting yourself and you are confident to wear what you want to wear. If she thinks that it is slutty then it’s up to her and how she views women.
OP outed herself here…she isn’t 18:
” I really wanted to wear it before it doesn’t fit me.” OP is still growing. She’s a kid.
NTA. Your aunt’s feelings about your clothes are not your responsibilty to manage.
NTA. You’re an adult with family in a bathing suit where a bathing suit is appropriate. End of story
What you wear is none of her business.
Lol, tell her you are respecting yourself and if she has a problem maybe she should get out of the dark ages!
Ask her why she is sexualizing you?
NTA. If you want to be petty ask her if she wants nieces and nephews and when she says yes then tell her to mind her biz
NTA. Next time, ask her loudly to please stop commenting on your body as it makes you uncomfortable.
What exactly does the suit look like?
If you’re 18, why do you think you’ll, keep growing?
It’s never too late to start teaching manners. Next time she says anything tell her you are not accepting opinions on your clothes and she should write them down in her diary instead. I’ve done this with my grandmother and she huffed around a bit but I never heard any more comments. NTA.
NTA. You are an adult and your aunt should mind her business.
Nta. She has a very old school mentality. She was taught that girls that show off some skin must not have any self esteem and are begging for attention. That’s just not true anymore. She just doesn’t get that.
You’re 18. Too young for a crop top? That’s like the prime crop top age lmao 😂 NTA. Wear what you want & tell your aunt to mind her business.
NTA. There’s a bunch of reasons she could be making comments like this but either way they aren’t appropriate. I would keep an extra eye out because sometimes people say this when they know their husbands or uncles or someone is a perv. It isn’t the right way to handle it at all, I just want you to be aware of your surroundings for safety reasons.
When she comments just tell her to please stop commenting on your body and you are wearing what you are comfortable with. Rinse and repeat as needed.
So this is what this sub is now? AITA for wearing clothes I want?
Yo, you’re not the AH here. That’s on her, not you. You shouldn’t have to overthink your outfits to please her or anyone else. Keep being you, and maybe next time, call her out calmly like, “It’s just a swimsuit, I’m comfy.” Set those boundaries!