My boyfriend is very business-driven. He franchised a burger shop a year ago and recently opened a second branch. I wasn’t super involved in the first one because business stuff just isn’t my thing. I tried helping with his Facebook page, but he was very particular and would get upset if I didn’t do things his way, which led to arguments. So I stepped back and just supported him by listening, giving input, and helping online when needed.
Now he’s asking me to be physically present more often to help with the new branch. The issue is, the stores are 30 km away, and I don’t have a car. I also have a full-time job, so commuting that far regularly is really hard for me. He used to pick me up sometimes, but with how busy he is now, he can’t anymore.
I want to support him, and I’m okay helping sometimes, but I feel like he’s asking too much. Am I being unreasonable?
(Note: we both have a full time job, how he manages it all? Idk and i’m honestly amazed by him)
Edit: Not exactly working at his two branches but helping him manage it like doing paperwork stocking up some supplies at those branches going with him when he does site visits, etc.
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My boyfriend is very business-driven. He franchised a burger shop a year ago and recently opened a second branch. I wasn’t super involved in the first one because business stuff just isn’t my thing. I tried helping with his Facebook page, but he was very particular and would get upset if I didn’t do things his way, which led to arguments. So I stepped back and just supported him by listening, giving input, and helping online when needed.
Now he’s asking me to be physically present more often to help with the new branch. The issue is, the stores are 30 km away, and I don’t have a car. I also have a full-time job, so commuting that far regularly is really hard for me. He used to pick me up sometimes, but with how busy he is now, he can’t anymore.
I want to support him, and I’m okay helping sometimes, but I feel like he’s asking too much. Am I being unreasonable?
(Note: we both have a full time job, how he manages it all? Idk and i’m honestly amazed by him)
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I might be the asshole because I said no to regularly helping out in person at my boyfriend’s business, even though he clearly wants and needs the support. He’s been working really hard and maybe I should be more willing to be physically present to show that I care and support him, even if it’s inconvenient for me. I worry I’m being selfish or unsupportive in a way that could hurt our relationship.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA…You have a full-time job AND you don’t drive. His expectations are unrealistic.
NTA – if your boyfriend needs more help with the business he needs to hire someone to do that.
Look, I see multiple issues:
You receive no compensation or equity for your efforts.
You say you not good at the work he wants and you don’t appear to enjoy it.
You literally have no reasonable way to get even get to the shop.
NTA but a successful relationship needs communication. If this is a long term relationship it might be worth some counseling to discuss this stuff and set boundaries.
You’re his girlfriend, not his employee. Businesses depend on employees being able to easily get to and from work. That’s not you. Mixing business with pleasure has already strained your relationship. Tell him firmly, the answer is no and stick to it.
NTA – no free labor. He’s just your boyfriend. He can leave at any time. Also, this was his circus. Don’t be his monkey.
NTA. You providing ‘physical support’ so what working the counter, prepping food, doing accounts, cleaning? for him at his business with, I am betting, no monetary compensation is not you supporting him, it is him using you for some form of free labor.
NTA. You’re not saying you’ll never help, just that you can’t do it regularly. That’s reasonable. If he’s building a business, he should understand the importance of sustainable resources including your time
NTA. You are his partner and not his worker. How would he like it if you asked to be paid?
NTA. If he wants an employee, he needs to hire one.
NTA, he wants free labor he needs to hire someone…you have a job.
NTA
You already know working for him sucks. Don’t put yourself back in that position. He can cough up the dough to hire an employee rather than expect you to change basically your WHOLE LIFE to accommodate him. You can’t even get there because you don’t have a car? What does he expect you to do, walk 30km?
Frankly he sounds entitled and out of touch with reality
NTA.
It’s his business, not yours. It is OK for you to “help out” as much as you feel like doing, as long as he picks you up and drops you off. Restocking supplies seems like a pretty lousy date, but OK.
No, don’t feel pressured to take public transportation after work to meet him there and do paperwork for him. I’d say at MOST 1 day a week and only if he drives you.
NTA If your bf wanted/needed your help with this second branch, then that is something that should have been discussed and agreed upon before he opened the second branch.
Your bf unilaterally made a decision to expand his business and now is expecting you to help him.
NTA. Do not be this man’s unpaid assistant. You already have a job. This is his job.
NTA
You already have a full time job. He is your boyfriend, not your husband. You are about to set yourself on fire to keep him warm. Don’t do it.
NTA. I’ve seen loved ones working for free while having a full time job on Kitchen Nightmares etc and they are so depressed. If he can’t hire a manager to do his work, he’s not going to make it long in the business. At least you’re not married.
He sounds like quite the taker. I had one of those once – emphasis on had
NTA. You are not free labor, even if it is small. If he needs business help he should hire someone to do those tasks. Unpaid labor is not sexy.
NTA he doesn’t come to your job to help you, and you are not his employee.
Also if you aren’t a legal employee and got hurt (not unheard of at a restaurant) it would be an insurance mess.