Being left on read again and again ….

Hi everyone! I’ve never posted here before, but I’d really appreciate some advice.

I’m a 22F, and a few months ago, I met a guy online who lives on the other side of the world.

From the start, I told him I wasn’t taking it seriously and that I was just messing around, but he had a great sense of humor and we hit it off.

A few weeks later, I posted a photo, and he slid into my DMs. Our convos were always lighthearted and flirty. Eventually, he shot his shot, and I told him: “I’m not sure if you’re serious, but if you are, now’s not a great time. I have attachment issues, and I’m not in the right headspace.” He was persistent though, and said he wanted to try anyway, even with the distance.

At that point, I thought maybe this was a good opportunity—he’s far away, so there’s no pressure. My therapist says the only way to work through my fearful avoidant attachment style is to take baby steps. And he seemed like the perfect partner. He had all the same goals and ambitions, and nothing changes if nothing changes, so I took a chance and decided to pursue it. I made it clear I wanted to pursue, I gave him the go ahead and we got it off.

Still the fearful avoidant was still in me, and I freaked out after a week and told him again it wouldn’t work, I’m scared. He respected it, but a few days later he messaged saying he still wanted to be friends. A few days after that, he said he really wanted to give us a chance despite everything and thy he could work with my attachment issues. But what really started bothering me is how inconsistent he became.

He started leaving me on read a lot. I’d call him out, he’d apologize, and then do it again—this cycle has repeated four times. I’ve been super clear: “If you’re going to leave me on read, please don’t open the message at all. It triggers me.” He always says he’ll stop, but doesn’t.

The weird part is he’s always the one starting the conversations. I’ll post a story or send a streak, and he’ll find something to comment on and start chatting, only to leave me on read again. I’ve told him this really affects me and that it’s tied to my attachment wounds—but nothing changes.

He’s also said big things like “I’m falling for you,” and he even sent me flowers for my graduation. But when he hurts me, he doesn’t really apologize—just says “It won’t happen again” and repeats the same behavior.

Now I don’t know if I’m being nitpicky, or if I’m losing interest for a good reason. He’s the only person I want to talk to, but I’m tired of repeating myself and feeling ignored. I also have the LSAT coming up and don’t have time for emotional games.

So… am I being dramatic? Or is this a real issue I need to take seriously? Would really love to hear your thoughts. Thanks for reading this long message

tl;dr: found a guy across the world who wants to pursue me. Said maybe now’s not the great time I got attachment issues. Wanted to try anyway and said I won’t hurt you. Then started leaving me on read and I would tell him that triggers me. Keeps doing it and now I don’t know what to do.