CW: threat of violence
So apparently I’ve (sadly) graduated from mildlyno to justno when it comes to my MIL.
It’s been a long list of maybe some minor things if you look at it individually. But it all blew up when they came to visit us postpartum. I’ll summarise, but I’ve made a post about it on mildlynoMIL.
They came in with the worst attitude because they were feeling entitled. She called my husband when we were still in the hospital to yell at him for not instantly calling her when our twins were born. I had an emergency c section and almost died, our babies were in the NICU, but no. He should’ve called. We had colicky babies and just weren’t up for ANY visitors. We did however offer to go on walks with immediate family. Then we also had to let her know we wouldn’t be coming over for Christmas, because it was logistically impossible at the time. We did suggest to have it at our place though. That wasn’t good enough. So they visit. I was holding both babies because they were having trouble. One fell asleep and mil insisted on taking the ‘other one’. I said no. Cue some awkward moments until they start yelling at me how all of this isn’t normal. That I’m a bad mother and antisocial.
We went no contact. It’s been almost a year. My stepfather ran into MIL’s husband and he said “if I ever run into [husband] and I’ve been drinking, I’ll beat him up”.
So in all that time they’ve learned nothing. They still think it’s our (my) fault. How are they expecting ANY form of reconciliation if they’re going to act like that…
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They sound ignorant and toxic. I have twins too (now 16) so I know that is next level craziness and stress. Glad y’all are no contact. Some people just don’t get it. Congratulations on your babies!
Classic toxic narcissist move, threatening violence after you set boundaries. Spoiler, they don’t want peace, just control. Keep that no contact locked down and don’t look back.
I think it’s funny when OLD MEN think they are going to beat anything up – because they aren’t and are only going to get themselves hurt.
If you want an odd ‘bright side’, at least with MIL’s husband’s reaction, you know you were right to go NC and now have even more reason to keep it.
Let go of any hope of reconciliation. You have a witness in stepfather that FIL has threatened violence so they CLEARLY can’t be trusted around your children.
I would block them on all forms of communication and release any anxiety around that relationship, they are done and gone. I say that because that’s what I had to do with my MIL and my little family’s life is so much better without her around (my kids don’t even know of her existence and have lots of other kind and loving family around)
They will have their toddler tantrums but that just solidifies that going no contact was 1000000% the right decision.
Focus on the positive kind and respectful people in your life … forget about the rest, they are worth nothing
Nothing like threatening violence, to help someone decide to restart a relationship with you… /s