I really despise my periods. Like the idea of having to do this every single month, every yer until my body decides to stop, just so that I can have another set of issues related to menopause makes me want to genuinely breakdown. I hate it. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. I feel like it is incredibly unfair that I was saddled with this monthly curse without any escape. I don’t ever want to have biological children so there’s no point in me having periods. Do I have painful periods? Yes, but only for the first few days. I don’t have any metric other than my own pain but I feel like my pain doesn’t match what other women have to go through, even though it does keep me in bed on the first day of my period. I genuinely don’t know if my pain is normal or not. I’ve gotten nauseous from the pain and sometimes I’ve hyperventilated and almost passed out. I take diclofenac to manage the pain. But again, I feel like other women have it so much worse. So I don’t think the pain is the only reason why I feel like this. The best way I’ve found to explain how I feel about my period is that it’s like body horror to me.
I see other women with periods who don’t get so torn up over it like I do. I dread it every month and I think about having a hysterectomy every time. I hate being born afab every month. I don’t know if this is normal. Can some of you tell me if it is?
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I be so happy, then boom.. period
Consider getting a uterine ablation? It’s much less invasive than a hysterectomy with less side effects and potential complications. It’s also probably more accessible and less expensive.
A third of women do not menstrate with the arm implant. I believe hormonal IUD, such as mirena, stop periods in many women. It is also possible to take oral birth control in such a way as to not menstrate. Plenty of women do not care for their periods, and we have modern methods to avoid having them altogether.
I take continuous birth control so I don’t have mine. Absolutely hated it my entire post-puberty life.
I really want to start by saying that pain and suffering are not a competition. That other people may have worse pain for more days does not negate the pain you’re going through, or mean you shouldn’t seek treatment. And you should seek treatment. What you describe is not normal and not something you should just have to deal with. Pain so bad you get nauseated, hyperventilate, or need to be bed-bound is not typical of “regular” periods.
A lot of the “periods are just painful and get used to it” is really referring to mild cramps. If it can be solved with a little heat and a midol, that’s “expected”. But if those don’t work, and you can’t go about all/most of your normal activities during your period, that is something else.
I also despised getting my periods, from the very first one. They made me resent my body and I couldn’t stand anything to do with them. I had horrendous pain that started out just during my period then became daily. It became crippling, honestly. Turned out to be a combination of endometriosis and adenomyosis. I finally got a hysterectomy three years ago (after asking for one for more than a decade), and it was the best decision I ever made.
Mirena stopped my periods immediately. Rare but possible.
I get SUPER bad dysphoria in the week or so leading up to my period. Like my body feels like an alien landscape prison and I want to claw my way out of it. It’s not just you.
I’m exhausted by my inner fury for my period cycle and entire hormones to be honest. Sick to the back teeth of it all. Wish I’d had the courage to see a hysterectomy at age 21 or younger.
Periods are awful. I’ve hated every minute of them since the first one started. You’re totally normal. Haven’t had a period since 2017. NEVER going back. IUD baby!
that’s how I feel about my period as well, so now I take continuous oral birth control and no longer have a period. It was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for my life. I suggest discussing it with your gyn to come up with a solution to not have periods.
Your pain is way worse than mine. My cramps are the equivalent of a tummy ache, I’ve never had to take an entire day in bed from menstrual pain.
I am resentful that I have to deal with it when men don’t, but I also wanted kids very badly, and I think I accepted it as the price of admission for motherhood.
I try to make my period as much of a non-entity as possible. I use a black towel after showering so I don’t have to be careful about staining it, I have Thinx because everything else feels invasive and annoying, I refuse to see my period as something that prohibits me from things (like swimming and sex) but I feel free to use it as an excuse if I don’t want to do something.
I never really examined this beforehand, but after I got my hysterectomy I did realize how much time I spent resenting this deeply annoying biological process that I had absolutely zero interest in. It’s kind of unreal how much mental space it takes up, even just passively when it’s not that bad. My body genuinely feels like fully mine now in a way it never did before.
So I get where you’re coming from! I personally did not want any non permanent options like birth control or IUD or honestly anything where I would ever have to think about it again ever, lol.
It can’t hurt to check into if it’s something you feel strongly about. The childfree sub is bananapants but they do have a good list of doctors willing to sterilize women without any nonsense, might be worth a look!
I took an oral contraceptive (Natazia) that stopped my period completely. I hadn’t had one in about 10 years because SAME. I had super heavy bleeding (that eventually became continuous for several months) and debilitating pain.
It took until this year (I’m almost 41) to find a doctor to do a total hysterectomy but I am SO thrilled it finally happened.
I very much identify as a woman but have not had a period in a long time due to the hormonal IUD, and it’s a godsend. Periods suck. You are not alone.
Everyone hates their period*. Some people DETEST it. This is possible without gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria could certainly make it worse.
Hysterectomy is a pretty serious operation (I had one, it was great for me) and not something you should do until you’ve worked with a good doctor and exhausted other less risky avenues. That applies to both health reasons and dysphoria reasons. It’s the nuclear option, not the only option.
Definitely support you in making the appropriate appointments.
Damn, you sound like me. I also feel like my female body is a prison, not only because of periods but because of boobs, hormons, my vag my uterus, and so on. I hate every aspect of being a woman, and yet, I don’t think I’m trans, but I do think I have weak gender dysphoria, I honestly don’t understand why more women don’t feel this way. But your feelings are absolutely valid
I chose birth control products that prevented periods until my obgyn finally agreed yo a hysterectomy (dt family history of cancer and a couple other things)
Really helped
I’ve never met a person excited to have a period so this is probably just a universal feeling. I’ve never been excited about my period, I’m happy being a woman, but like that’s definitely a shit move biology!
I have no gender dysphoria and periods are reason #6 that god should be happy I’m an atheist. They’re awful.
If your periods are so painful that you are nauseous, hyperventilating and bedbound then it would be bizarre if you didn’t despise them. This is not normal, your period shouldn’t prevent you from doing the things you normally do. This is a medical problem and you need treatment for it.
Why should you have to go through this with no medical support? This is not the 1800s, and you don’t have terrible medical care unless you live in a place that does.
I know that birth control medications are getting a lot of negative propaganda, but it’s often pretty easy to find one that reduces period symptoms and makes it a lot easier to keep up your routine.
I don’t think disliking an aspect of being a woman that kinda sucks is necessarily gender dysphoria. As a trans woman, I don’t particularly lament not experiencing that except that it would be perhaps be nice to have fertility. If you were able to simply turn off having periods, would you still enjoy being a woman? If so then it’s probably not dysphoria. It just sucks.
From what I have learned spending a bunch of time in endocrinologists offices, it’s not at all uncommon for women to really struggle with menstruation and its symptoms and to seek medical relief. It seems like there are multiple options, so you might want to look into whether they can help you out. My wife for instance experiences less of a cycle than I do due to an IUD that suppresses her periods.
(It may sound weird but the first time I got cramps it made me happy. Trust me the novelty fades VERY fast, but it was nice to have my body doing what it was “supposed” to for once in my life.)
I’m a cis woman, and my periods suck, so I tried various methods of birth control until I found one that helped. My favorite is the low dose pill, using that I skip most periods and the ones I do have aren’t nearly as bad. I know hormonal stuff doesn’t work for everyone, but if you haven’t tried it, it might be worth looking into.
I’m a cis woman who’s very happy identifying as a woman. I loathe my periods and all my reproductive organs, I wish I didn’t have them. I never want children, literally all they do is cause me bleeding and pain and increase my risk of cancer.
It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly tough time with your periods, and it’s completely valid to feel the way you do. Many women experience significant pain and discomfort, and it’s easy to feel isolated or like your experience isn’t ‘normal’ compared to others. But your pain is real, and it’s important to acknowledge that.
Beyond the physical, it sounds like there’s a deep emotional and psychological toll. It’s okay to grieve or feel frustrated by this aspect of your body. Embracing your feminine energy can also mean cultivating self-compassion and finding ways to nurture yourself during these challenging times. This might involve:
•Deep self-care: Prioritizing rest, gentle movement, warm baths, or anything that brings you comfort.
•Mind-body connection: Exploring practices like meditation, gentle yoga, or breathwork to help manage pain and emotional distress.
•Seeking support: Talking to trusted friends, family, or a therapist about these feelings can be incredibly validating.
Your feelings are valid, and you deserve to feel comfortable and at peace in your own body. Don’t minimize your experience. Focus on what you can do to support yourself and seek professional help to address the physical pain. You’re not alone in this journey. Sending you so much strength!
I have minera IUD and I haven’t menstrated in 11 years.
I actually told my therapist a few weeks ago that I was thinking it cured a dysmorphia I didn’t realize I had. The period made me feel like some sort of… birth… machine… I still have trouble articulating it. But with the periods gone, I don’t have those dark thoughts.
Good news is you can absolutely cease menses if you want to, and there’s a dozen different ways, hormonal or surgical.
Discomfort is normal. Pain is not. Pain is normalized, sadly, but you should not be bedridden or hyperventilating. Get your ass to the doctor, get some treatments.
Look, I compare it to rolling your ankle. You probably have done that and been mildly sore and skipped going for a run for a day, but otherwise okay to do everything? That’s the level of pain and problem you should be expecting. Something that doesn’t functionally change your day.
I got on some birth controls and still menstruate and it’s a LOT easier. I hated my periods and wanted to cut my womb out myself most days. Now I just grumble about expensive supplies. I’d still prefer it gone but birth control has lowered the actual problem of it down from the levels of broken leg pain, to rolled ankle you might need to wrap every few months when it’s bad, using my shitty pain levels comparison.
In my case it was PCOS causing the massive week long bleeding and sorrow, but my cousin was endo and literally ended up in a wheelchair till surgery due to the extent of it. Pain isn’t normal.
I dont know anybody who enjoys having periods.
Its gross, painful, uncomfortable, embarrassing, and life disruptive. Even women who who have it good have to stop and be mindful of where they are in their cycle.
I wouldn’t call is dysphoria. Just being a mammal is super gross. And being a mammal with a human brain so you are cognizant of what is happening to you is bizarre.
Its unfortunate the lengths we have to go through to stop our periods and hopefully have no side effects. Life’s not fair.
I used to totally dread it when I was younger, especially my late teens (got it when I was almost 16 lol) they were awful awful. Horrible back/leg pains, the worst nausea, practically hemorrhaging (once literally bleeding through a tampon, pad and my jeans 😵💫)
Then in my 20’s it got better by itself. Not nearly as heavy. The back pains were still there but I got better at knowing when to take pain meds. Not too much nausea except “morning sickness” every once in a while. Now I think the PMS is worse lol. I HATE everyone 😂 everything irritates me to the point where I’m like damn I’m a huge bitch rn, I need to calm the hell down!
Yea the periods though, I don’t mind. They’re so “meh”. It’s just routine. Sometimes I even use them as a measurement of time “two more periods until my birthday”. Realizing I forgot to buy more tampons sucks though lmao
It sounds like you may have estrogen dominance. I take DIM which has proven to detox the body from excess estrogen and I haven’t had painful periods since.
Most people don’t like getting their period.
Some people hate getting their periods because it’s genuinely an awful experience – painful, long, messy, emotional, whatever.
Some people have a lot of distress about getting a period because it makes them feel like their body is wrong – that there must have been some mistake, and they shouldn’t be getting them.
The last two camps can LOOK very similar! Only you know if it’s normal and understandable period aversion, or if it stems from something deeper.
For me, it was the third! I felt so heartbroken any time I’d tell someone how I felt about my period, because I got told ‘every woman feels that way.’ It didn’t help, because the problem was that I didn’t feel like a woman. For you, it might be the second. Or it might be the second for now, and over a few years you might see other signs. Either way, that journey is personal and I hope you get all the support you need during it — whatever it might be.
I don’t know because I experience something different. In my case — I love being a woman (am struggling against a lot of internalized misogyny here, and I let myself be, and yep, she/her is right), but my periods suck SO BAD. At the same time, a part of me feels weird not having them. I will note I also have endometriosis.
Your experience is sadly very familiar to me. I only stopped truly hating mine and by extension a large part of my body after I found out I have endometriosis, and it is not normal to get that sick. Please see a doctor; your periods are not normal if they’re debilitating and feel like a horror show. The dramatic mood shift was also partly blood loss for me — almost passing out from pain is not normal for a period. Take a trusted masc-presenting person with you if you’re dismissed by the doctor the first time; it really does (sadly) make a huge difference.
I dont like periods either. A couple years ago, I got back on the pill so I can skip periods. I just keep taking the pill and skip the sugar pills. Best thing ever.
Your pain sounds pretty bad to me. I had periods for 40 years and never once had one that was bad enough that I had to lie down because of the pain. So don’t think that you’re overreacting or being a baby or whatever. Your periods sound horrible. And even though my periods weren’t bad I still hated them.
I saw a post recently that was asking, if tomorrow you woke up in the body of the opposite sex, what would you do? And I really thought about it and thinking about having a male body was really distressing to me. So I don’t think hating your periods equals gender dysphoria. Hating your periods is the rational response. There’s a reason it’s called the curse.
Your period sound a lot like mine, and also I happen to be nonbinary. I got a Mirena IUD which stopped them entirely, and it has been both very gender-affirming and a huge boost to my general convenience level.
I do get light period symptoms when my IUD is close to expiring. I had like, half a period just before I got my last one replaced, and it was so annoying! I don’t know how I used to put up with that every single month!
I had a full on meltdown after sex ed when I was 12 and loudly declared that I NEVER wanted to get a period. I was genuinely angry that I was a girl and would have to endure this.
In the balance of things, I don’t get truly awful periods. Maybe 1 or 2 periods a year will be noticeably painful or heavy. I still have absolutely detested every single one of them. I don’t like the feeling, I don’t like the mess, I don’t like having to dedicate any mental energy to it at all. I’m seriously considering options to permanently get rid of them now that I’m older and my hormones are doing stupid things and my cycles aren’t behaving as well as they used to anymore.
I was diagnosed later in life (32) as AuDHD so I do wonder how much of it is sensory discomfort but I can confidently say it isn’t a gender dysphoria thing for me. If I’m critical I’ve never been super gender conforming anyway but it was more that I just didn’t care, not that I was uncomfortable about being and being identified as a woman. I’ve learned about “autigender” lately and that kind of seems to fit for me but I’m also just completely fine describing myself as a woman.
I got a mirena IUD and it’s amazing. I recognise it might not be as great for others as it is for me, but I’m on my third one in a row because I love not having periods. I do notice that there is certainly a hormonal cycle I still go through, although it’s much more subtle.
Getting it inserted was one of the worst experiences of my life, for my most recent one, I ended up paying out of pocket to go to a private abortion clinic and be put completely under.
Besides the years I was actively trying to have a baby in which case my periods were EXTREMELY distressing because I was infertile, I have chosen the skip button. I get no periods on Mirena IUD so I just choose not to get them. I am cis, I have had plenty of room to consider and actively evaluate my gender and I am for sure a cis woman with absolutely no gender dysphoria but I have infertility related hatred of my periods and also they just suck so I’m going to have mirena till I go through menopause