I went out for drinks tonight with a couple of coworkers. A girl that I think is very pretty was hitting on me all night, but I kept her at arms length since I was under the impression she had a boyfriend (this at least was certainly the case until recently). She shouted me drinks, we spent a lot of time chatting just us together, and she even asked me if I had a girlfriend and if I liked girls of her ethnicity … I left early because I was worried about getting a parking fine. I feel pretty dumb, I mean this was probably my chance? I haven’t had a SO before, and I’ve had negative experiences with asking out women in the past – so I think that contributes to my hesitation … still, it feels bad realising on the drive home that I probably had a shot. Have you guys had similar experiences and do you have any advice how to go from here onwards?
How do you bounce back from missing an opportunity with a girl?
r/AskMen
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You know this girl. Just ask her out.
Keep on bouncing to the next one. I have so many missed opportunities its sad.
Nah that’s okay. Sometimes women just love to shoot you down as soon as you take the bait. They do it for their own validation.
If this behavior continues though, you can ask her out.
What’s stopping you from sending her a message shooting your shot?
Life’s too short man. I decided I will lay on my deathbed with no regrets of what I should have tried or done.
I asked that girl out but she turned out to be lesbian. Imagine if I went through life thinking I had a shot only to never realize I was never her type?
Shit hurt but yeah, I live much happier now.
With that mentality you won’t
You didn’t miss the opportunity. She is into you. Suggest tell her that you were under the assumption that she already had a partner. That will clear things up and you can move forward from there
If she’s into you she’s not gonna reject you for going back. Just message her like “hey sorry for last time I wasn’t fully there but I enjoyed the energy you brought and was hoping if you’d like to grab drinks again?”
> I kept her at arms length since I was under the impression she had a boyfriend
Realize that this is stupid. You owe nothing to that guy and she’s an adult; if she’s looking to trade up, that’s her business. And to some extent it’s just straight-up misogyny to treat women like they’re some man’s exclusive property.
Bro. Simply ask her out for drinks. Tell her you were in a rush the last time y’all were out and you would love to pick up the conversation where yall left off.
“Hey. I was really feeling comfortable with you the other night, but I was under the impression you had a partner. My buddy later told me that you don’t. I gotta admit I was real glad he said that because I’d love to have dinner with…” something like that.
You should see it as an opportunity of KNOWING a girl, not DATING her. The greatest advice I read online is that most of the time we are obsessed over the potential of something, not looking at the reality itself. Once you stop caring about the potential and just focus on what’s going on right now, you will stop stressing out on relationships that are going well or those that didn’t work out
There is nothing to bounce back from, you chatted with someone then went home.
You can text her if you want and if she acts receptive just ask her to go for drinks.
I’d advise heavily against shitting where I eat however.
Buddy, just reach out and say you felt a connection that night. Then, ask her directly if you can take her out on a date. Bonus if you think of a specific activity beforehand and directly invite her to that.
Good luck Brother.
Be careful of work relationships. Unless you’re in completely different departments, things can get weird after the breakup or even just a fight
How do you know she’s single now?
And in the future, a parking fine is worth the price to landing a date. Or tell her you have to plug the meter and see if she wants to help.
You realize it years later and go “DOH!”
I never had a problem bouncing back from these, it’s waking up in a cold sweat 3 years later and realizing she was giving me signals I struggle to recover from.
I still think about the time a chick from college called me to chill at hers after a party. She greeted me in lingerie and I just went straight to her bed and fell asleep….
Sometimes those things are a blessing in disguise.
Move on, or just ask her out when she’s free.
Know that there will be many more times in the future where you goof up like this. Talking from exp,.
So you gotta learn to carry on whether you like it or not. lol
I’m not trying be funny or rude but sounds like you may be gay brother. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Maybe you should ask if she has a brother you can shoot your shit with
You don’t bounce back, how could you?
It’s impossible because she’s the only girl on planet Earth
“Her lose.”
only if you choose to learn from it.
The best to get over someone is to get under someone.
I forget which movie that was from but there’s some amount of wisdom in there.
You actually got her interest peaking. Wait a few days and send a message to meet for drinks. Suggest an evening to meet. Guarantee she will say yes to meet.
You actually got her interest peaking. Wait a few days and send a message to meet for drinks. Suggest an evening to meet. I am pretty sure she will say yes.
I’m confused
Just ask her out
You are acting like it’s over
You work with her? I would stay away unless you hate your job.
Honestly bro, just ask her out with full confidence
yes about 10+ years ago it was my fault she did everything to show me that she is interested. I still regret it till this day and i am still searching for some how to get in contact with her.
wish you good luck man
Bruh. I hope saving money on a parking fee was worth it
“Hey insert name, I had a really great time hanging out. I was wondering if you had any plans this weekend?” And then take her mini-golfing with drinks or something. She likes you. You don’t only get one “chance” and you haven’t done anything egregious. If it works out, you can tell her how you thought you messed it all up while you’re snuggled up on the couch and it will be a cute story later.
Give her a call for a coffee get together, and stop thinking too much. She can only say no at this point, and it’s no big deal to you.
You only missed the opportunity if you stop pursuing her, or you ask and she says no. Don’t give up after this one misstep.
She was giving you alcohol and flirting with you. The green light here doesn’t get much greener. Shoot her a text or something. And believe in yourself more.
bounce back by fumbling more and more women over being oblivious. It happens. Could always reach out and see if you missed your shot though.
You didn’t miss the opportunity. Text her and say you had a great time and thought you were hitting it off but thought she had a boyfriend. Let her know you’re interested
Go out another night?
Seriously, man, ask her out! If she says “yes” then great, but if she says no, you’re just in the same spot you are now, so you’ve got nothing to lose!
You just usually bounce to the next missed opportunity.