Context is everything here – but generally speaking, how receptive are you to being called “bud” or “buddy” by someone you barely know or even someone who is younger than you?
Men, how do you react to when someone calls you “bud” or “buddy”?
r/AskMen
Comments
“I’m not your buddy, guy”
In Appalachia it’s normal, especially for older guys, to start a convo with “What do you say, buddy?”
It doesn’t bother me.
I’m not your buddy, guy!
If it’s like “Thanks, buddy!” That’s positive.
If you make a claim and someone says “Okay, buddy” or “Okay, bud” then it’s demeaning, basically saying you are immature or a boy.
I can only think of maybe someone’s dad 30 years my senior calling me “bud”. In that context, who cares.
Maybe a guy behind the counter at a deli, but usually I’d get “boss” instead. Boss is good
“I’m not your buddy, guy”
Depending on the situation/context, it can feel a bit condescending, but mostly infantilizing to me.
I’m Canadian, so usually something like “hey buddy! How the fuck are ya?” or “sup bud!”
It’s vernacular here
there’s this cunt at work who desperately wants to be my boss, and he says ‘hey bud’ every fucking day.
Feels a little condescending I don’t know
I don’t care. But a lot of redditors seem to have a problem with it.
Depends on the tone.
I don’t like it. Buddy is for pets and children.
Sup?
I don’t. People don’t usually mean anything by it.
😂 “react” 😂
“How are ya now?”
I wouldn’t react at all. Its just another friendly term.
Well
Hey bub
snickt
“Bud”is the default form of address between men in Canada.
I find it off-putting. If they call me “buddy” or “guy” I take it to mean that they never took the time to mentally note my name.
Or, if we never met before, I take it to mean they want me to think they’re already my friend, as a lead-in before asking me to do something for them that I wouldn’t do for a stranger.
Haha I call a lot of guys “bud” or “buddy” but it’s honestly from a place of care and brotherhood ❤️💪🏽
It’s a very common way to address people you don’t really know where I’m from so I don’t even notice.
Interchangeable with big man, mate and pal
I call every mate, i call my kids buddy. So I think it might be an age thing, so I might reply, “im 39, that’s a little too old to be called buddy”
“hey bud, you want a beer” – I like this person
“Ok buddy…” I probably don’t like this person.
Tone and context matters
I’m self-assured enough that things like this don’t bother me. I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to let things like this bother me because I’ve reserved the majority of it for my road rage.
Am I supposed to “react” to this?
I would say what’s up man. Now if that person trys to continue the conversation further than I would probably be like what’s up I have things to do bye I don’t have spare time to talk to people I don’t know but to say hi sure
I once had a mentor who told me, “You can call me an asshole, as long as it’s with respect.”
I generally don’t care.
Hmmmm, in the most general context, such as in a store i would ignore it as for some people it’s probably just their casual version of “sir”.
I don’t see what there is to react to if I’m being honest. No different than some saying “Hey man” or something like that. It’s a complete nothing burger to me so I’m kinda surprised it’s even remotely controversial
I say it to people all the time. My justification is that it is merely something that I say.
It isn’t that deep.
Better than being called Champ or Champion
It’s just small talk. I’m okay with it.
No problem Chum. We should go fishing.
Mostly positively, It’s rarely used condescendingly to me, or by me. I’m pretty earnest with my “buddy” usage… As I type this I feel more and more like a south park Canadian lol, but that’s just how lots of us speak up here.
In the south, many men say buddy to each other all the time. It’s about the time and the subject. Personally it doesn’t bother me because I’m not a child with insecurities.
I tend to react normally to that unless the word is dipped in a snarky tone
Most of the time I wouldn’t care less.
I’m Canadian. I get called, and call others, bud and buddy so often it feels like a reflex. Zero issue with it.
I’m from the South. If I got upset at every random nickname I’d get nothing done. Just ignore it and pretend it wasn’t said and continue on as normal.
Almost all the times I’ve experienced anything like this in real life, it’s been friendly. I know it can be condescending or insulting etc but it’s never warranted a reaction at all in my experience
I find it more and more common – it does not bother me at all. It’s like a dog wagging their tail – just a signal that they are friendly.
That sounds about white
Same way I do when they call me “Pal”…with a look of disdain
Tone is what matters. Hey bud! vs. HEY…..Bud-dy.
I like it. I like being called “hey brother!” too. I don’t like being called “Sir.”
It depends on the context.
My grandpa calls me buddy.
I don’t mind.
Why would I care or notice? It’s just how some people interact. No harm.
Tone is everything
When I was a kid (1960’s) my barber called me butch. For whatever reason it annoyed the hell out of me. To this very freaking day now that i think about it. Ghaaaa……
I don’t really care
I like it but I am gay so I especially like the phrase “good boy”.
Weirdly, I am fine with Bud, but Buddy feels patronising. Probably because I only use it with young kids or my dogs… I call most people Dude (I am English so it doesn’t have the American Stoner association 😄) largely because I have a terrible memory and forget people’s names.
I’m not your buddy, bud, bro, bruh, any of that.
It has always put me on edge when people get overly familiar like that, moreso these days than before.
Newsflash, buddy
I use bud and buddy quite a lot as a friendly greeting to non friends.
I have done for about 20 years if not longer.
There is no familiarisation in it and for me it is a non issue.
I use it and people use it towards me, it can be a greeting, a thank you, anything you want it to be.
Same as using the word “mate” it’s just friendly.
I’m from the UK
Depends on the tone.
There’s definitely a regional element to it, so in the south if a lady calls me hon or honey I’m not bothered by that.
Similarly if I’m in the UK or Australia, and somebody called me “mate” also doesn’t bother me but if some dude in Oklahoma is calling me “mate” I’m gonna have some questions.
With familiar relationships, I think nothing of it, the same as if someone had called me dude or boss. I have dozens of texts between myself and family/friends using these terms bud and buddy freely. My younger brother absolutely lost it on me when I said “thanks bud” in response to him doing me a favor. I don’t get it
I shit in my hand while maintaining eye contact. Then squeeeeze your hand shut. Never break eye contact or you’ve lost.
Age 45- My best friend and I call each other Bud or Buddy in conversation. That’s pretty much it. If anyone else were to do so (outside of my close male friends), I’d probably look at them strangely.
I teach HS and when I hear “bruh,” I repeat it to them so they know they need to correct themselves.
I don’t really react but I don’t like it that’s for sure
Respond by calling them ‘champ’, if it escalates further I get to calling them ‘boy’.
I don’t mind unless it is a confrontation.
Better than being called a wanker.
Anyone who reacts to being called something positive like, buddy, mate, friend, bro etc is just looking for an excuse to be an asshole.
UK here, where I’m from “buddy” is diminutive.
Depends who is calling me that. A friend? Yeah anything is fine.
Randomer in the street? Eh, it’s ok.
Someone who is serving me in some way? Hell no. I cringe when a young guy says “buddy” to an older guy they’re serving.
I don’t think twice about it, it’s just a greeting. Geez, some people are just looking for reasons to feel “disrespected” or offended or something.
It’s one of those words that totally depends on context and intent. So I let that be my guide.
Not has bad as when someone calls me “Boss”. I ain’t your “Boss”
No problems with it. I say bud or buddy all the time its not a big deal
Doesn’t bother me. It’s a friendly vernacular term that some men prefer to use.
I live in a smallish city and know all kinds of people in town, and we generally all get along pretty good. Familiar terms are just how people talk, at least among each other. It’s kind of a way of recognizing that we’re all the same kind of people, or dealing with the same kind of shit, or in a less complicated way, it’s just being neighborly with people we know and like.
If someone took offense (and I can’t think of a time that ever happened) it would say more about that person than anything else, and you’d just know that there’s someone with issues, that you had to be a little careful around.
Don’t like it. This is an interesting story, but probably off-topic. I’m black, and one day I was walking back to my car when a random middle-aged white guy, who I didn’t know, said, out of the blue, “Hey, buddy, could you help me out and take a look at my car?” I was like, wtf, “No!” I tried very hard not to see it as racist, but I couldn’t think of anything else it could be. I don’t know very much about cars, but the assumption grated on me. So much that I’m telling this story 40 years later. This happened in North Carolina about 1982-1983.
I really dislike it, same with bro, brother or anyone of those some people throw around.
Don’t care one way or another.
Tone is everything. I’m fine if the tone is friendly, annoyed if the tone is not.
I view it as a generic pronoun essentially.
It’s fine.
In Baltimore it’s basically a slur
🇨🇦 all good bud!
But I guess it can be used sarcastically to undermine someone too.
Was it a Hey Buddy 👋
Or a Ok there Bud!
Bud: “yay I’m a beer!!!”
Buddy: “yay I got a new friend!!!”
If you can’t tell I’m painfully ignorant to a lot of things. I know how it is, but also my brain does not process it that way and idk how to change that.
I don’t give a fuck. If I want to acknowledge someone I do it no matter how they call me. If I don’t, I ignore them.
So buddy is fine like any other stupid or normal call
When “sir” sounds too formal and “my good man” seems pretentious, “buddy” is a quick and amiable communication to casually interact with a stranger/nodding acquaintance. It’s all good.
What’s the issue with it? My friends use it regularly.
These were terms that were popular when I was a lot younger. I am 47 and when I was in my 20s, many people referred to other guys as buddy. I’d also point out that I did live in Canada for several years and that term was extremely common in the early 2000s
It did not bother me at all.
My wife used to, when she was irritated with me, but after I told her that I find it very disrespectful enough times, she stopped.
I just assume they forgot my name. Most of the time when I use “bud”, “dude”, “man” it’s because I can’t for the life of me remember their name
Not a big deal
It could be he forgot your name.
I suspect this is regional. I don’t police the way people talk especially when they are trying to be nice
Many years ago, a coworker of mine used to greet me with, “Hey, Charlie” and I would say “Hey” back. Over a year went by when she said, “I just found out your name is not Charlie.” I said, “No it isn’t. I just thought you meant it like Hey, buddy.”
Depends on the inflection.
But “pal” means someones about to get glassed
Depends on the person and their intent. I used to have a boss who didn’t care to learn the names of his employees and would call every one “bud” or “buddy”.
Hey, I’d prefer you call my name, thanks!
It depends on tone, context, and who is saying it. My dad has called me bud/buddy since I was a kid. I call some of my friends bud, they’ll refer to me as bud. Absolute no issue, and no issue if some random person referred to me as bud in a pleasant nice tone of voice.
If some random person refers me to as bud with an angry/annoyed tone I’d be thinking what the hell is their problem/what did I do to piss them off.
“Buddy Roe” is one I never understood. Maybe it’s a southern US thing.
like jim carey at the end of Cable Guy.
Depends on context but mostly unbothered. It’s the overfamiliar terms I take issue with.
I try not to care about other people’s bullshit. If they say it friendly its friendly, if they say it rude, it’s rude, same as any other indefinite pronoun.
I am sure that I could care less, but I am not sure how I would go about doing that.
Who the fuck cares what people call me?
It’s fine why would that bother me?
Here in Austria you have a certain group of people calling other “bro”, especially if they want something from you. I tell them in am not from here nor from where they are and we are not related.
I don’t.
Half of having aura is being unfazed.
My dad called me that when I was young so I’d rather not be called that by random people.
My dad along with Two close friends call me bud or buddy, been hearing it half my life so I actually really like it.
I think people over think the term, the only time it’s not good is if it’s deliberately delivered with snark or sarcasm.
Depends on the tone and context but generally it doesn’t bother me.
“Bud” happens to be my nickname, so it never phases me at all. It does seem like I get called that frequently by strangers…
I take it as a term they feel comfortable in the information they are pushing my way, i read more below late to mean what ever they are telling me is real
I casually correct them, “Dude…”
It doesn’t bother me necessarily, but if I call a grown man ‘bud’ or ‘buddy’ it’s definitely out of condescension.
Move on with my life because it doesn’t matter?
It’s infuriating
“Bud” or “buddy” is fine (particularly here in Canada). I bristle a little bit at “boss.” It always comes off as condescending for some reason.
Context doesn’t matter to me. I immediately mistrust them.
It depends on their intonation.
depends if they actually are my bud/buddy
I dont think about it until I get hit with the “brotha” from white guys. Never hear them call ANYone brotha. But they call me brotha with their whole chest.
React like a real man. Don’t react. Know that you’re a man, and let it be. It’s no different that that female postal worker who calls everyone honey.
For that occasion I do carry a concealed weapon.
I am generally a kind upbeat person. Even when people are trying to be mean I just reply like they weren’t. It usually throws them off. Kill them with kindness works more than you would think.
I immediately think they are low IQ
This kills me, because my kids treat Buddy as a huge insult in my house since I got in a fight with a cop once and called him buddy a couple of times. It is not a term of endearment in our familect.
I see it as a sign of aggression and I generally hate that person immediately.
That being said, I am guilty of doing this as well lol
Totally depends on the tone and context. If it’s friendly and casual, “buddy” can feel fine like someone trying to be approachable or break the ice. But if it comes from someone younger or a stranger and has even a hint of condescension, it can feel dismissive or patronizing real fast.
It’s one of those words that walks a fine line between friendly familiarity and subtle put-down. So yeah I’m receptive, but I’m also listening very closely to how it’s said.
Depends on the tone, of course. Or in relatable manly construction terms, the color of hardhat that’s hollering at me.
A female Wal-Mart greeter, probably a few years younger than me, called me “buddy” with a hard B last month and I was shook for like two days
I live in Australia and coming from another Australian it would probably be weird and borderline insulting. I would probably react by accepting that this person was choosing an antagonistic relationship and therefore they will receive no benefit from me in this interaction.
Aussies would use mate where I guess Canadians would use buddy. It can still be a jerk move, depending on tone and context. If you’re Canadian buddy in a friendly tone would be fine