I (16F) have been struggling recently to pour energy into a relationship. I just feel as if I constantly want time alone. I feel super guilty feeling this way. I have been thinking of breaking it off for a little bit now. He (17M) always says how he wants to stay together forever, and how he’s excited to see me. I feel so guilty every time he says something like this. I just want to rip the bandaid off, but I’m concerned about the outcome. He also tells me how other girls have lead him on and treated him terribly, which also makes it worse. We’ve only been together a very short time(~a month) but looking down the road I don’t think this will last. What is the most gentle way to tell him how I feel without feeling as guilty, or hurting him?
TL;DR: My boyfriend relies on the relationship to keep him happy. I want to leave, but unsure how to do so gently?
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I want you to know that I’ve appreciated how kind you’ve been and how much you care. I genuinely value the time we’ve spent together.
Lately, I’ve realized I need to spend some time alone to focus on myself. This has nothing to do with you being anything less than amazing, but I just feel like I’m not able to put the same energy into the relationship that you’re putting in.
I understand you’ve had difficult experiences before, and the last thing I want to do is add to your pain. But I also think it’s unfair for me to continue this relationship if my heart isn’t fully in it.
I’m telling you this because you deserve someone who’s fully invested and excited about the future together. I genuinely want you to be happy.
I understand if you’re upset, and I’m sorry that this is difficult. I care about your feelings, and if you need some time or space afterward, I completely respect that.
You’re not obligated to remain in a relationship to protect someone else’s happiness. They have to learn to be happy on their own first.
Short-term pain, long-term kindness. Ending things honestly and respectfully is always kinder than dragging things out.
Whenever he ask why or say things like “if I haven’t made a mistake/am so great/ you loved being with me, why are you leaving/want to leave?
Just reaffirm that you’re looking to figure out things on your own and nothing can stop that from happening