This morning I (23f) sent my boyfriend (24f) of three years a video of a belt I just finished crocheting. Because I think it might be relevant as to why my bf said what he did, it’s worth noting that there are long, thick tassels at each end of the belt. Also we’re both white, and not in America.
So he knew what it was I captioned the video ‘belt’. His response?
Bf: Belt
Bf: Use to whip slaves
Me: Bf’s name what the fuck
Me: Why would you say that?
Bf: …because it’s a joke
Now I feel like I’m going crazy… I get that it’s a joke, but it just feels so off. Like why would he say that??
My first thought was “did he really see the belt I made and instantly think of whipping slaves… just because it’s a belt?”
And then I thought about it more and realised that the tassels at each end do kind of look like floggers.
If he’d said “it looks like a bdsm whip,” I’d’ve laughed. But now I have this awful imagery associated with something I spent hours making and am really happy with.
Was it a weird thing to say or is it just a joke and am I overreacting?
TL;DR: My bf made a joke about my crochet belt looking like a slave whip and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting
Edit: text-message line spacing
Comments
Slavery isn’t a joke. Who the fuck jokes about that?
I mean jokes are supposed to be funny and that isn’t. It’s crazy to me that THAT would be the first thing to come to his mind.
You may not like my answer but yes you are overreacting. Its a dark humor joke which means its supposed to be shocking.
It was just a bad joke.
It’s a no from me. That’s really off.
Say back, “what’s funny about that joke.”
And then tell him you don’t think racism is funny.
He sounds like an idiot
A lot of times jokes a means of people trying to see where boundaries are with people both in political, far left or far right ideology and sexuality.
Once, it’s a joke, but if you start to notice him making odd bdsm/slave jokes.. it may be a means of him testing the water.
What the hell is with all these shitty boyfriends I read about on here??
You’re not overreacting, he’s showing his true colors. Get the fuck out.
It’s a lame edgy joke, in isolation not something to be upset about IMO, but it’s definitely an inconsiderate response to your partner showing you something they made and are proud of.
Obviously it’s a horrible thing to joke about but I’m really failing to understand how it’s actually even a joke. Like it’s just some flat statement that doesn’t even sound like it could possibly be a joke. It sounds like he was speaking before thinking but this is over text so he’s just a dumbass who is very quick to make any slight connection to something racist.
If he’s not generally racist I would probably tell him that it’s a gross joke to make and that you didn’t find it funny.