My ex boyfriend and I had been together for only 6 months.
I got pregnant and continued with it; however, my boyfriend and I broke up after some issues in our relationship occurred.
I decided I wasn’t ready for a child if I was going to be alone. I went to the clinic and got an abortion.
I felt okay and confident with my decision up until the last few days.
I understand I am young and no longer in a relationship but I can’t help but think about all the possibilities and situations I could’ve been through if I hadn’t gotten an abortion.
How can I live with this guilt and regret forever?
How can I work through it?
Comments
I have half a dozen friends who have had abortions and not a single one of them regrets it! Trust the science not the propaganda.
listen , don’t EVER let anyone make you feel guilty about your decision. You understood that being a single mom was not something you wanted to go through at 17 & your feelings are valid .
It’s better to not bring a baby into a world you can’t take care of instead of having it & knowing you might be resentful . Plus, it’s no one’s business but your own .
If you’d held on for a few more months the baby could have been adopted out and you still would have had your future ahead of you. 🤷🏼♀️
You are so young! You might be feeling down about it now, it is a tough desicion no matter what. But you have your WHOLE life ahead of you. Tying yourself down with a child so young, AND wouldve been a single parent, I guarantee you wouldve missed out on more by having the baby!
You’re allowed to feel down about it, its a huge choice to make, but ultimately, you probably made the right one!
Go live your life and enjoy it, and dont beat yourself up about for one moment longer!
I promise you, your opportunity for a family will come a little later in life.
I think it’s hard either way. But you knew that you weren’t ready and that’s enough. You didn’t put a child through your own growing up. You get to refine yourself before hurting someone else. It’s a blessing. Your future child will have a better mom because you did the hard part of maturing and growing up – learning.
No drama, no pain of your grieving the ex relationship while raising them. You’ll be able to give your love to a future child without the strings attached. Wishing you love and healing
If you feel your feelings completely and let them wash over you and tell you what they’re trying to tell you, and you don’t try to disown and suppress them, they’ll stop making you feel bad faster.
You may feel low right now, but honestly, having a child at that stage would’ve been just as overwhelming, if not more. Imagine trying to care for a baby when you yourself needed support.. that pressure could’ve led to resentment on either side. It’s far more responsible to not bring a child into the world unless you’re emotionally and financially ready, than to do it out of guilt or pressure and struggle later.
Don’t punish yourself for the decision. You did what felt right in that moment, and that’s valid. The choice is made, and it’s done. Now it’s time to focus on healing and moving forward. Let go of the guilt.. especially the kind that comes from what others say or what you’ve read. You made a thoughtful, difficult choice. That takes strength.
Don’t feel bad. If you decided to keep the child and put it in an unsafe environment with a family that wasn’t ready; THAT would be the wrong thing to do. It’s okay to grieve what could’ve been, but remember you saved a potential child (and yourself) from a life of hell. Take some time for yourself, you’ve got this💕
This is coming from a 46M for what it’s worth but I teach 17 year olds so I felt this deeply.
I was a baby who was adopted and that choice was so very very difficult for my mother. There was no closure with it for 25 years. What made her decision amazing is that she had a choice (she was 17 as well).
My suggestion is to work your spirituality and see a therapist. Volunteer and serve others when shame hits you. You have so much good to do and life to live. In a logical sense, you have saved your talents, time and love for people and children in your future.
In a spiritual sense, God calls the broken, the hurt and the downtrodden to help people. Don’t let shame hold you back from being absolutely amazing!
I know what you did was hard but I believe Jesus loves you and lean into Him (or whatever spirituality you are comfy with) and beautifully rise above!
It goes away. Just carry that decision with you when you make future choices. Condoms aren’t 100%. effective and don’t ever believe in “the pull out method”. Get on birth control if you want to continue to be sexually active.
Trust me you will be glad in your later age that you didn’t tie yourself down and gave yourself an opportunity to see the world differently and get a second chance. Just because some people did ok with their teen pregnancy doesn’t mean yours would’ve been the same way. There’s huge risks to having a child that young not just physically but mentally and emotionally. If anybody wants to throw a fit (which you are entitled to not have to tell anybody unless you want to) then put out your hand and ask for all the money they are gonna give you to take care of the baby. You will be okay.