I’m 24F, growing up I was the oldest of 5 kids and my parents were always too busy with them to even acknowledge me. My dad would tell me to “Suck it up” “Get used to it” why? Because my parents planned my siblings existence and mine was an accident that was made in Brooklyn New York in a strip club while they were high. They didn’t want me but they knew they would look like bad people if they aborted me so instead they neglected me. Ngl, I wish they would’ve aborted me so I wouldn’t have gone through emotional hell and depression as a child.
They always encouraged my siblings to use their lives for their own good, to make sure they get a good education and job so they can get married and start a family. Me? They said I wasn’t smart enough to get an education even if it was right in front of my face, they said no one would ever love me, and that they hope their bloodline don’t go through me to have kids. It hurt my feelings to even think about it but it’s the truth.
Once I turned 16, I got a job and I started to save up and I knew my parents wouldn’t pay for my college tuition but my dad’s parents were willing to pay for it, so I just saved my money so I could afford to live on my own. At 19 years old, I left them and I never turned back. The only people I stayed in contact with was my grandparents and that’s all. Now, I’m a graduate student from Georgia State University with my masters degree in Cybersecurity Management, I have a two story house, I’m in a relationship with an amazing guy, and I’m currently 6 months pregnant with my first baby. We’re planning on getting married after baby is born.
I’m living an amazing life and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My grandparents swore not to tell my parents anything about me, my lifestyle, my relationships, and now my pregnancy. My grandparents will be at the baby shower and they will come to the hospital to meet their first great grandchild and birthdays in the future. Now, here’s the hard part is that I live in the same city as my parents. I go to the same stores as my mom because that’s just where I do my groceries plus I save money which is important since I have a baby on the way.
I was going to get some produce and I saw my mom standing next to the vegetables and I tried to keep my distance. She turned around and she saw me, I pretended like I didn’t see her. She came over and she said my name and she started talking. Saying how much she’s missed me and wondering why I don’t call or came by. I ignored her because I didn’t wanna talk to her. She then noticed my pregnant bellly and she said “Oh my god!” And she had the nerve to touch my belly. I slapped her hand and said “Don’t put your fucking hands on me”. And she said “I can’t wait to meet the baby, you should come over more often.” I said “No it a million years would I come back to hell”
She got mad and said “Stop being rude” and I didn’t even say anything after that, I just left and didn’t even get my groceries and said I would rather order them online. I was so mad but then something felt wrong, like I really just disrespected my own mom. I felt really bad but right. But then again how could she be this oblivious and entitled to the fact that I wouldn’t wanna talk to her and the fact that she touched my stomach. AITAH?
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NTA. The sheer audacity of touching your belly after years of emotional abuse is astounding.
NTA!!
NTA at all. I’m so so sorry you had such a terrible childhood, I cannot even imagine hearing that type of vitriol from your own parents. My heart breaks for you. I’m so glad you have a wonderful life now and you’re happy and thriving!
That bitch is not your mom, she was your incubator and that’s all. Being a mom is so much more than giving birth – and the ONLY thing yours has done for you is give birth. You’re gonna be a mom soon – can you even imagine treating your child how you were treated? You didn’t have parents, you had enemies. Your real family is already with you and loves you, absolutely no one else deserves to call themselves family. Don’t let the social constructs of “mom” and “dad” ever make you doubt yourself. You didn’t disrespect her, honestly you were pretty respectful considering most other people in your place would’ve said and done much worse. Have an amazing life OP ❤️
WTF?! They neglected and abused you your entire life and she has THE NERVE to touch you without permission, demanding to see the baby, acting like if she didn’t make your life hell, and when called out, she has the audacity of calling you rude, YOU?! Is she fricking delusional?! The audacity, the entitlement makes me wish you had slapped her on the face instead.
NTA, not in a million years. DO NOT feel bad, “disrespected my own mom” my foot, did she ever treat you like a daughter? No, she neglected and abused you and favoured your younger siblings and punished you over her own screw up of having unplanned sex without protection and refusing an abortion. Did she ever respect you? Heck no.
You didn’t disrespect her because you can’t disrespect someone that never respected you back, period. DO NOT let her close to you, and if they contact you, tell her and your sperm donor to fuck off.
Nta updateme
I am happy you managed to build a wonderful life away from those horrible parents
The part that really got me was, “why don’t you come over more often?”, as if she’d seen you last month. NTA and keep keeping the distance. I wouldn’t let anyone of that lot near my child.
Always remember the ha re abusers…and once time a abuser is always a abuser……they can’t change …..
NTA.
And I think they hate that you’re happy and want you back in their lives so they can make you miserable
NTA
Toxic people do not deserve a place in your life just because of their relationship to you.
Its a two way street. If you meant so much to your mother she would have made efforts to reach out ages ago , the fact that shes never bothered speaks volumes about how little she thinks of you. Dont feel bad and keep up your boundries
NTA and you should have told your mother to suck it up when she had the nerve to say that you were rude when she couldn’t have kept her legs closed or used this thing called protection like your father if they were gonna neglect you as a child.
NTA. You are NC bc they were neglectful and abusive parents. You protected yourself by leaving the situation. Even your grandparents are on your side vs theirs! Stay NC for your sake and your child’s sake.