hi guys. it’s 3:30 am and I (23F) just had a hook up with a 23(M).
we matched on a dating app and started talking a couple weeks ago. on the dating app it started slightly sexual but once we got each others numbers (same day), we didn’t really talk like that anymore. it was mostly friendly and flirty. he was good at keeping the convo going, asked questions about me, and seemed generally interested. we were even supposed to hang out another day and i told him i was on my period and didn’t wanna have sex and he said that’s totally fine we can do all that another time. flash forward to tonight, we decided to finally hang out. he lives an hour away and drove to my town. we went for a walk and talked. then we came back home, we’re talking more and things are going well in my eyes. we have several things in common. it’s slightly awkward but most first meets are. we’re laying in my bed watching a movie and we start making out. that progresses to sex. we have sex. once we’re done, i ended up taking the condom off him. i’ve never done that before but i guess i just didn’t want him to feel awkward or not know what to do with it. he made a comment like “wow ive never had that happen before.” and i said yeah ive never done that before either and kind of explained why i did it. then were kinda laying there in silence for a few minutes watching the movie. i go to the bathroom, come back. and he says he’s gonna go get his wallet from the car. he had mentioned earlier he left it in there and seemed nervous about it.so i didn’t think anything of it. (weirdly he’s standing at the door of my room for a few minutes watching the movie, making comments, asking me questions, talking about the movie. i asked him a couple times do you want me to pause it while you go get your wallet. he kept saying no.) he goes downstairs. next thing i know i get a text from him saying “You’re super cool , but like the vibe felt Way off and Ngl you were kinda rude so”. wtf?? i thought it was a joke at first so i go downstairs to check and he’s gone. poof. i called him he doesn’t answer. i text him and say what? how was i rude. then im just feeling empty because wtf this guy just fucked me and then left without any closure. i thought things were going well and we liked eachother. at first i thought hes an asshole and just wanted to fuck and then leave and is giving excuses. but why was he so interested in talking and getting to know me, and even saying he was okay if we didn’t have sex before? so now im overthinking the condom thing. is that why he left?? please i need some input because i get attached to people when i sleep with them and now im just feeling empty inside and like i need to be cuddling someone. i feel like an object but wondering if im in the wrong.
TLDR: hooked up with a guy, i took the condom off him after. he leaves and says i was rude. is this the reason he left or is it just bc he was an asshole who wanted to fuck??
Comments
FYI paragraph breaks every four or five sentences make these stories a lot easier to follow.
I don’t think the condom was what did it, it sounds like he just wanted to get laid and didn’t communicate expectations with you. Sadly, this is very common with me.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a one night stand, but you should communicate that so you’re both on the same page. So I’m gonna go with him being an asshole. Or at the very least, his emotional maturity and intelligence is very lacking.
I probably would have asked before removing a condom, but it sounds like you explained it, so I wouldn’t call that rude. I would write it off as him making some excuse, you’re gonna go mad trying to figure out how you were rude. Odds are, he wanted to get laid and get out, and felt compelled to offer some excuse. I wouldn’t expect an explanation from him.
I get this sucks, you invested a lot, just be thankful he revealed himself now before you got any more invested.