I can’t stop wondering if I had said the right thing he would have chose not to. How do I stop thinking about it?
My friend called me before he killed himself. I didn’t know what was about to happen, just thought he wanted to chat.
r/Advice
I can’t stop wondering if I had said the right thing he would have chose not to. How do I stop thinking about it?
Comments
Well what did you talk about when he called you?
You talk with a counselor about this.
The truth is that it is a difficult topic…. But I can assure you something, it is not your fault, if he had already decided what you would have told him, he would not have changed his mind and if he marked you, it is possible that you were someone important to him and before leaving he wanted to leave with a good memory (in this case of you).
Just remember, it’s not your fault what happened and although it’s hard, you wouldn’t have been able to figure out anything since he had already made his decision.
Just know it is not your fault. Suicidality is never your fault. You tried to give him the comfort he needed by chatting with him. If that would have changed anything it would have. He needed help that only a professional could provide. Do not blame yourself.
The last time I talked to my brother, I scolded him and ended angry with him his alcoholism had reached a fever pitch. He was found dead shortly after in a hotel room from a heart attack.
Well, I was filled with deep regret. I also know that my brother was suffering a lot.
You’ll always ask yourself if you had said the right thing or did something different if the outcome could change, but people’s demons are incredibly powerful and all consuming
There’s little you could’ve done to change the outcome. Maybe he just wanted to hear your voice one last time.
If he hadn’t that eve, he would have another. It wasn’t you or anything you could have said or done.
Try to view it as a gift, that you got to speak with him before he left. And he called you, knowing already what he was up against, you must have been a good friend. That says a lot.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s hard enough to lose a friend but when they call before they commit suicide that’s something else. I believe you’ll need some serious counselling to get through this. But just know you have strangers over here who believe it wasn’t your fault. I pray you find peace and heal.