I’m 17 {M} y.o teenager, and I’m very shy, like too much I would say. I really can’t talk to anyone who I don’t know, even good afternoon I can’t say. I understand that I’ll never see them again, but strange barrier won’t let me do it. Likewise, I tried to use chat roulette but every time I see a person I am speechless. How can I start to talking to people without any fear? Help me please.
How can I beat my fear of talking to random people?
r/Advice
Comments
I used to imagine people as cats, and that really helped me. Now im not scared of taking to anyone, and im no more imagining them as cats
Start small smile, make eye contact, or just say “hi” to cashiers or classmates. Practice tiny interactions first, and let yourself feel awkward without judging it. Confidence grows in baby steps, not all at once.
Start with this simple challenge: say one word to one stranger every day. Just ‘hi’ or ‘thanks.’ That’s it. You don’t need to chat, just make contact.
Your fear won’t disappear overnight, but it will shrink each time you face it. Think of it like unlocking levels in a game.
What helped me was reaching about your age. Maybe 16. I realized plenty of people were my age working and so that removed my fear of ordering food (ice cream), asking for random workers for help (and not just losing 2 hours on my own). Find younger faced workers and practice with someone your age first.
Is it anything to do with your culture? If you grew up and not exposed to many people or have extroverts or someone to save you versus nudging you to do it on your own, then you haven’t been able to have practice at this. While you shouldn’t hate or shame yourself all you can do is continue.
A common saying is “people think about you? Not at all they are too busy in their own lives.” How about you? think back how much do you remember 365 days a year growing up? Observe around you. When a cashier drops something, or someone at the grocery store, how harsh are you of them? Then if it WAS you instead do you really remember?
Also back to the culture thing. If you follow rules then politeness is to say hi, or wave. If you don’t then you are rude. Another way to reframe how you come off.
You know you have fear, but what’s the fear? That they will yell at you? Hit you? What is or are those things? Might help.
Practice! That’s it, that’s the secret.
Practice. Do you currently have any friends?
Something that ended my shyness was getting a retail job
Start with simple greetings. Practice with friends or family to build confidence gradually.
hey man, I totally get this – used to be the exact same way at your age. What helped me was starting super small, like just making eye contact and smiling at cashiers or saying thanks to bus drivers. Once you realize most people are just as awkward as you and dont really care that much, it gets easier. The key is baby steps, dont try to have full conversations right away or you’ll just psych yourself out more.
Ask people for information you already know. Directions, bus delays, where’s the nearest coffee shop. Stuff like that.
RPing as a stranger might make you more comfortable approaching strangers.
Start by saying ood morning, with a smile, to your neighbours every morning