So I (M21) am straight and 6’3 285 (was 370) and i know that’s I’m overweight and I’m not trynna make fun of anyone but I know friends and family that are also overweight like me and sometimes even more and unemployed and not even in college and still date and have bf/gf yet I’m struggling and idk what I’m doing wrong
My friends have said whatever girl gives me a chance will be lucky and I appreciate it but idk what I’m doing bad or what I could do better. I can make female friends and hold convos good and even make ‘‘em laugh. Like I said I’m not trynna make fun of anyone but I’m trying to prove a point, I know people that are in worse situations than me but still have easier dating than me and I don’t understand. I don’t discriminate or not like chubby or overweight girls either btw, I definitely like ‘em so it’s not like I’m hypocritical either
Any advice, I could really use it
Comments
IDK lots of couples in walmart are your size. Maybe find a similar sized woman.
Being 6’3″ and 285 is honestly not as bad as it probably seems. I think personality is really important, I definitely prefer guys with some weight as long as they’re kind. It’s not a lost cause because of your appearance, it might just be how you come across. For example, do you actually try flirting? Or do you just hope somebody else flirts?
Are you on dating apps, or actively looking for a relationship? Waiting for one to fall in your lap is kinda a tall order these days 😭
Maybe get a dating profile, post some cute selfies smiling and doing fun stuff 🙂 the ye ol “😐” selfie garners minimal results, imo.
Or, take yourself on fun dates. Romanticize your own life!
A lot of women are attracted to bigger men. Go on a dating app and go on a date…be confident and honest!
6’3 285 isn’t even bad. if you take good care of your hygiene and fashion and put yourself out there, you should be able to find someone. There will be rejections on the way but you got this
You can use a dating app. For first dates, pick low-key shit like coffee or a light lunch.
Make sure you don’t smell. Make sure your hair and facial hair, if you have any are groomed.
Make sure your outfits are iron and not wrinkled. Wear clothes that compliment you.
On the dates ask women open ended questions about themselves. Ask follow-up questions. If you don’t know what they’re talking about ask them to explain. People usually like talking about themselves.
It’s okay to be self deprecating when joking. But stay confident don’t put yourself down.
Hey man, gotta commend you on the weight loss, that’s a massive achievement! Ppl need to remember it’s really not just about the physical. Be confident, genuine, and love who you are rn – not just who you wanna be. Treat dating as an opportunity to connect rather than a job interview. Relax! You’ll find the right one when the time’s right. Remember, it’s your vibe that creates your tribe. 😉 Keep your chin up, bro! Good luck!
I’m bigger than you and a lot older. It’s not about how big you are it’s about personality and confidence (not to be confused with arrogance). Yes your size will close some doors but ultimately it isn’t the issue you think it is. Put yourself out there and be authentic.
If you haven’t already as part of your weight loss, join a gym and do some weights or machines. There are plenty of resources out there to find a decent program. You aren’t that overweight for your height, with a bit of muscle you would have a good physique.
That is secondary when it comes to dating as a man, but you will also feel healthier and more confident, which will go a long way.
Put yourself out there more. I hate using social media and positing pictures of my own goofy face but it helps. Showing how you’re enjoying life and what you do for fun is a way for others to see potential compatibility.
As a woman, I’m looking for someone who is happy and enjoying life. Someone who has their shit figured out and is ready to run alongside me. Showing yourself doing what you love is a green flag to woman. Your sense of humor will help a lot too. Your weight would not be an issue for me at all. Me being a lesbian would be an issue though 😆
Do you ever get to the texting stage? There are some very common texts that make a lot of women roll their eyes right off the back. “Good morning beautiful” is getting a lot of hate right now from what I’ve seen. It sucks that there are secret rules but women also deal with a lot of the same tactics and can start to associate you with “all the others” if your messages are unoriginal.
Just put yourself out there. My boyfriend is a bigger dude and I’m SUPER attracted to him. He gets insecure but I’m absolutely obsessed with him. I call him my squish. Just put yourself out there. We met on tinder in college and now we live together. Also, I saw some comments saying to go for women of a similar size, but don’t feel like you’re only limited to that! I’m a lot smaller than my boyfriend but that hasn’t really changed anything. Just go for who you could see yourself being with, whether that be thicker girls or skinny girls. Everyone deserves love.
My boyfriend is 6’4 280-290 and I’m 5’4 and 115, there’s somebody for everybody out there, just date like everyone else dates. Your own insecurities might be holding you back and eating into your confidence when you talk to girls though, just focus on putting your best foot forward and loving and taking care of yourself. Dress in decent clothes that fit you well, get a good haircut and take care of your facial hair, invest in a little spritz of a nice cologne, and don’t put so much pressure on the date to turn into something. Eeeeeverybody has crappy dates sometimes and everybody has really nice dates that just don’t shake out sometimes, be patient and set standards for what you’re looking for.
It sounds like your issue has nothing to do with your weight/size and everything to do with your self esteem and confidence. Unfortunately i dont have any useful advice on that front, but just know that the barrier you are facing is all mental.
I think most likely if you work on your own confidence and feeling good about yourself, that confidence is what’s attractive.
Do you feel strong and healthy? Are you working on muscle toning and posture and confident body language?
Are you doing activities and hobbies that you genuinely enjoy and where you might meet someone who likes the same things or activities you can invite someone to join you to do for low pressure “dates”?
Once you’re doing all of that, the next step is to be brave and start practicing actually asking people on dates. Otherwise they might not know you’re trying to move out of the friend zone.
Easier to start with new people you meet so you don’t risk a friendship you care about.
But someday, if it is a friend you really like, you might have to get brave and ask if they would ever go with you on a movie date or something. Use the word “date”.
Yeah your size isn’t all too bad, atleast not so much I’d imagine that’s the problem for lack of dating
I’m 6’ flat and sit around 250lbs on average
In terms of practicing flirting and how to try, that’s literally it you have to go out and practice and try on real people. It’s okay to be rejected, because you’re learning and building comfortability and confidence in presenting yourself. Keep a basic sense of decency and respect to your attempts and you’re not likely to have a bad encounter
And as a last resort you can always buy one!
Make sure to dress in ways that flatter you and stay super well groomed. Try to get longer pants that emphasize your height
Stop worrying about weight, for starters. Your weight is not your identity. My husband is a bigger guy; probably a size 42 if I were to buy him a pair of pants right now. I’m a 0/1. Our weights have nothing to do with our compatibility. He’s my best friend, lover and soul mate regardless of his size.
When I was young and hot I totally dated overweight guys- doesn’t mean they weren’t sexy. Now I am overweight myself and most people would say my former very successful model boyfriend is out of my league but he adores me! Work on yourself but also be you!
I’d say don’t date at all.
Baby… im 93 lbs and my man is 6’3 and 287. Hes not lucky to have me. You’ll find ur person weight never matters to the right one
You’re really doing well.
Just slow down on the Carbohydrates and up the veggies.
Cut out alcohol and tobacco and you’ll be taking the belle of the ball.
Try speed dating or single events in your area. Everyone there is trying to connect and you will get practice talking and making conversation. Also look up for meet me groups that do different activities, pick something you are interested and attend. It’s Meet me.com
Do you do anything, i.e. does your life have content? Do you have a job? Clubs? Have you developed any expertise in any field? 6’3” 285 is big, but not ridiculous. You used to be heavier so you may be in terrible physical condition, is that the case? Bottom line, if you are a physical wreck and you have nothing to talk about it’s not going to happen. Change one or both of those things, and your prospects will increase.
Don’t try to be too picky with your preferences in women in terms of size, i’ve dated heavier guys before who only like petite women and it was a bit off putting and seemed hypocritical. Also personality for sure and doing nice things for them so you can stand out from the rest of the guys trying to get her attention.
Bro i 23m was 280 and 6ft (im now 270 and 6ft) and I have been in a relationship with my hot and lovely fiancee for like 3.5 years. Make em laugh, be a good person, be a strong and passionate person, be a fierce person!
If the ladies don’t find you handsome they should at least find you handy.
I’ve been married for 15 years but the older we get the more it seems my handiness is valued than my looks.
What kinda clothes are you wearing? Hair cut? Facial hair? Shoes? Maybe that’s something those other guys have that you dont
Go after women in your weight class
You aren’t trying probably.
When’s the last time you asked a girl for her phone number?
Or out on a date?
Or do you automatically assume they wouldn’t give you a chance? So you never try?
Find a heavier lady.
Calorie deficit
eat whatever you want – just eat less, and be consistent
then hire a personal trainer and get to 15% bf with lean muscle
you can do it
dont listen to anyone saying just be confident lmao
What are you doing to meet girls? Let’s start with that and then troubleshoot.
You’re 21, are you in school?