Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1mfiqzw/comment/n6jqvmo/?context=3
I read as many of your comments as I could and sat down with my husband to talk about what to do. We ended up just quietly bringing up to my son in the middle of lunch conversation that I had a friend who had just started dating his boyfriend and wanted us all to meet him. (True information, I was told this a few weeks ago). This family friend is a classmate from college that my husband and son know well, my husband made a few comments about how happy he was for said friend. Our son made a few nice comments but didn’t say much for the rest of dinner.
About an hour ago, my son came forward to me and my husband and explained that he thought he might be gay or bisexual and he wasn’t sure. He explained to me that Marcus’s parents were pretty homophobic so after hearing Marcus’s fears about coming out to his parents, my son got scared as well. He and Marcus are not officially dating because they weren’t quite sure what to do or how to move forward.
I came clean to my son that I happened to see his computer and saw him multiple times with Marcus. My son was understandably upset at first but said that he was glad I made the subtle comment at lunch as it gave him a way to open up to me. I explained to him that if he’s comfortable, and Marcus is comfortable, we should have a conversation with Marcus to try and figure out how to help Marcus talk to his parents about this issue.
Thank you everyone for your comments and support. We believe we did the best thing for our son. If I have any further updates I will make sure to post them.
Comments
Damn, OP. Much respect. Navigating these waters ain’t easy, and y’all handled it like champs. Big ups to you for being supportive, open-minded parents. Good vibes and strength to Marcus too, hope it all works out for him. Society can be a tough nut sometimes, but with allies like you guys, we’re definitely moving in the right direction.👍🏽🌈✊🏽
If Marcus’s parents are homophobic, you need to abandon the assumption implicit in your post that he should have a conversation with his parents. It is up to HIM to determine if that is safe and when it should happen, if at all. The most you should do is make it clear that he is welcome in your home.
Fantastic.
Probably won’t get too far with Marcus’s parents. I love the thought, but focus on what you two can accomplish. Be a safe place for both of them.
Maybe Marcus could come meet your friend and his boyfriend too? (Though depending how homophobic M’s parents are, that might backfire if they find out after.)
Both my kids are bisexual and we could not love them more.
Daughter marrying her partner next year.
My son had made a career of it as a journalist from the bi point of view.
Nice job!!!
You sound like an amazing parent.