I’m a first time mom to a ten week old daughter. I got really bad mastitis the other day, 102 fever, chills, body aches and felt so weak I could barely hold my daughter. My husband just started back at work so unfortunately, I had to call for back up. But honestly, I would’ve been better off caring for my daughter in bed all day. My MIL refused to put her down for a nap. I repeatedly told her “she’s getting tired. She needs a nap. She’s going to be REALLY cranky later. She’s zoning out. She’s rubbing her eyes” LADY! SOOTH MY GODDAMN DAUGHTER TO SLEEP OR GTFO. She kept overstimulating her, talking to her and flashing her hands in her face. And guess what, GUESS WHAT! She ended up screaming at the top of her lungs every 2-3 hours and until midnight bc she was so goddamn tired.
AND THEN THE NEXT DAY, she randomly texted us “on my way”
I’m sorry?? On my way to WHERE? Certainly not to our house! Where you were not even INVITED?! the fuck???
I know beggars can’t be choosers but FUCK ME, I can’t stand her.
Comments
Quick Rule Reminders:
OP’s needs come first, avoid dramamongering, respect the flair, and don’t be an asshole. If your only advice is to jump straight to NC or divorce, your comment may be subject to removal at moderator discretion.
^(Full Rules) ^(|) ^(Acronym Index) ^(|) ^(Flair Guide)^(|) ^(Report PM Trolls)
Resources: ^(In Crisis?) ^(|) ^(Tips for Protecting Yourself) ^(|) ^(Our Book List) ^(|) ^(Our Wiki)
Welcome to /r/JUSTNOMIL!
I’m botinlaw. I help people follow your posts!
^(To be notified as soon as Anxious-overthinkr posts an update) [^click ^here.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=botinlaw&subject=Subscribe&message=Subscribe Anxious-overthinkr JUSTNOMIL) ^(|) ^(For help managing your subscriptions,) ^(click here.)
^(I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please) ^(contact the moderators of this subreddit) ^(if you have any questions or concerns.)
On my way 🫠 right back to hell where you came from lol!
“Feeling better today, got it handled, you aren’t required.”
At least that’s what I hope you texted her back.
I hope your mastitis is better and you laid the law down as to exactly why her “help” is not needed anymore. Sorry 😕
Don’t let her in. Block the door with a damn chair. This is hard enough without a bloody ignoramus making it harder.
If she does it again, call your MIL every time your baby wakes up screaming. Let her hear the consequences of her actions.
You need to stand up for yourself or she will walk all over you. Be more blunt.
“putting her down for a nap is not a suggestion. If you can’t then you are not helping and need to leave”
“Do you mean on your way here. No thanks don’t need help today. Sorry to make you turn your car around, I just want a quiet day with the kids”.
Ugh I had mastitis and it was awful. I’m sorry she made it worse. You’re right, it would have been easier to deal with your baby alone on her “normal” routine than deal with an overtired and overstimulated baby, courtesy of MIL.
>I’m sorry?? On my way to WHERE? Certainly not to our house! Where you were not even INVITED?! the fuck???
If you called her for backup because of your mastitis she probably thinks that was an invitation to keep helping every day until your mastitis is gone rather than a one day only invite.
Just politely reply “Thanks but no need to come by today, I’m feeling ok and would like to try a day with the kids by myself. I’ll let you know if I need any help down the track.” You could add “”I really appreciate your offer” if you don’t mind a white lie for the sake of diplomacy.
Send her home after 3ish hours. Let her think she’s been so helpful and you’re feeling much better. And never ask her for a thing again, now you know she’s incapable of actually helping.
Tell her that you and baby are doing much better and do not want visitors. Don’t open the door.
Why wasn’t she the one to deal with the consequences? Make her stay up with a screaming baby!
Tell her the truth. You’re both exhausted bc MIL wouldn’t listen to you and didn’t let her nap. You can’t take more of that kind of help again.
did she end up coming over again ??! please tell me u shut that shit down ?
Don’t ever let her watch your child again. At some point, she will ask why and you can just say “because you do not respect her nap time and that is not good for her health or mine.”
Girl if you have mastitis get yourself to hospital! They should be able to help with baby too.
Let your Mama Bear out. “Put my child down for a nap or give me my child and GTFO. You aren’t here for a play date. You are here to care for my child. Act like it.
omg for real.
Deep breaths and lots of space between your baby and her 🙂
Why do you ladies just “think” these things instead of saying them in the moment? The time to say something is exactly when it’s happening, not later. It is frustrating reading what some women allow their mils to do to them, just say it!
Don’t tell us, tell HER
10 week old babies should mostly still be sleeping!
You need to be firm with her! I know it’s hard but set the boundaries now.
Tell her this is babies schedule you need to please follow it, as last night she was up all night screaming due to missing her naps. This is not helping me recover!
Goodluck! 😵💫