It’s myyyyy job to facilitate the grandparents having good relationships with kids. I invite them essentially to EVERY activity. We go to the fair? They’re invited. T-ball game? They’re invited. And I’m HAPPY to do it honestly, it doesn’t bother me. I enjoy that they all love each other. But what pisses me off is when they take my kids without me for special days or activities I’m suppose to just be happy for them but if I try to have literally any kind of special thing I’m leaving them out and they’re pissy. They get to have my kids the wholeeeee day before their birthday for special spoiling. My tradition is a themed photo shoot. Now everyone’s mad at me for “cutting the day short”. I get ONE thing, in the evening when the light is good. They’ve had her since 8:30 IN THE MORNING.
I’ve been taking these pics since their first birthday, it’s the only evening I had free to do it. “Well why can’t you do it next week after their birthday it’s not like they’ll age in 3 days” BECAUSE I ALWAYS DO IT BEFORE THEIR BIRTHDAY THAT’S WHY. Because I grew her in my fucking uterus for 9 months and I WANT TO.
Maybe I am a dick because they wanted to do more activities or whatever but shit she’s my kid and I love her and I just want this one thing
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I’d stop inviting them to all those things if they’re gonna be rude when they’re offered so much.
You’re not a dick, and from what it sounds like, have been very generous. I have been way less generous with regard to my four-month-old baby in that I only want to share my firsts with my husband and have no interest in inviting the grandparents.
Not over reacting.
OP, YOU ARE THE MAMA, not the ILs
guess what? shes your kid, and you can have ALL THE THINGs because YOU ARE THE PARENT.
They are being difficult? They dont get the special treatment anymore. This is only going to get worse the more you allow it.
You’re not over reacting. Time to cut back on the activities you invite them to. They’re not the parent you are.
You are way too nice lol I wouldn’t invite to all activities bc I like mommy/kid time or our little family time, they are selfish and ungrateful, stop making time to everyone else and enjoy your time with your kids, bc they grow so fast, and who gives a F*** for what they going to say? They clearly don’t care about u, put yourself first, stop being so nice trying to make everyone happy.
Consider this your permission to take a huge step back. Please stop facilitating their monopolizing your family life and quality time with your kids. This is so insidious and honestly just plain awful behavior. Please set some boundaries and maybe examine why you feel you need to bend over backwards for people who clearly neither respect you nor your role as a parent. Do not back down about the birthday photos! It sounds like such a lovely tradition.
You’ve conditioned them. They get way too much. Invited to waaaay too many things. Of course they are now going to pissed at you.
Grow a spine, stand up for own needs, and say ‘no’ as much as you want to.
It’s not your job. You’re only making it your job. Stop catering to them.
It’s ok to invite them less often and start your own traditions etc.
“If you’re not happy with what I’m offering then going forward I won’t be offering anything.”