Long time lurker, first time poster, so I apologize if the formatting is off.
I, (22F), am supposed to be moving out of my parent’s house at the end of this month. This has been planned for a while, as my girlfriend, (25F), is even flying in from out of state to help me make the drive across several states. She already took time off work and bought the plane ticket, so it’s not exactly something I can just reschedule without it costing us both money.
This past week, I’ve been back at my parent’s place taking care of the family dog and driving my brother, (19M), to work because my parents went on a cruise. They asked me to fly home early from my new place specifically so I could help with that. I didn’t mind, as I needed to pack up the rest of my stuff and say goodbye to friends anyway.
They get back tonight, but this morning my mom texts me saying they “forgot” they had another vacation at a resort a couple towns over, booked for later this month. Apparently, it was planned six months ago, and it just happens to start the day before I’m supposed to move out.
I reminded her that I’m leaving the next day, and my girlfriend already has purchased her ticket. When I asked if it was supposed to be a family thing or another couple’s trip, she avoided the question and just said they’d “figure something out.”
I have a hard time believing that this trip was forgotten about, my parents are comfortable financially, but we are not in a tax bracket where we can easily go on two trips in one month. My mom is so tight with money she won’t even let the AC run in all parts of the house during the summer to avoid a higher electricity bill. It just feels very convenient.
I’m still planning to move out as scheduled. I feel like I’ve already done enough, flew back early, helped out with the dog, and drove my brother around. I don’t think it’s fair to expect me to delay everything again just because they didn’t plan ahead.
They’re going to have to figure out the dog and my brother’s rides to work without me if they’re not planning on taking my him or the dog along. However I feel incredibly guilty, and I worry they won’t be able to find a reliable dog sitter. So, AITA for still moving out even though it screws with my parent’s second vacation?
Comments
NTA
You made your plans, you let them know your plans.
Move as scheduled, it is their house, their dog and their other adult child they have to figure things out for.
Is there a reason why your brother is unable to take care of the dog and get himself to work?
NTA. And your Mom agrees: she accepted responsibility and said they’d “figure something out.”. So I don’t know why you’re feeling guilty.
NTA
Sounds like a manipulation.
Does your brother have a disability that does not allow him to be alone?
Dog sitters exist.
This is your parents’ responsibility to figure out.
Enjoy your new town and next chapter.
NTA. Stick to your plans, your parents will have to adjust.
NTA your brother is 19 not 9. Why would you need to go back to help him. Ubers exist. And you can get a license at 18. Sounds like they want convenience at your expense
Wait.. do your folks need to be there when you move out? I guess I’m not understanding what anyone is AH about? Maybe mom doesn’t want to be there the day you move out? Too emotional? Or are we worried about the 19 yr old adult? Unless there are no busses, Ubers, taxis in your area, maybe… but his transportation is still solely his adult-self problem. Sounds like ur parents knew your dates, they made plans anyway and choose not to tell you. So what?
NTA. 19 is old enough to drive and look after dogs. Why can’t your brother do it?
NTA as your plans are fixed. Not necessarily a problem either as your mother has said she will figure something out re her dog and her other child’s work commitments. Don’t worry about these needs. Let them deal with it and good luck with the move.
Your parents had no trouble booking their cruise and their second vacation even though it screws with your planned move.
NTA.
Your brother is 19. He can watch the dog & drive your parent’s car to get to his work. You don’t need to be involved in this at all. Don’t feel guilty at all. NTA
NTA.
Your parents are trying to sabotage your moving out.
And to make you choose YOU or them.
Always choose you and your life first, when people try to push you into that place.
NTA. Stick to your plan. Their problems are not your problems to solve.
UpdateMe
LOL at 19 your brother is old enough to look after himself and a dog.
Why can’t your brother take care of the dog?