My GF got drunk at a wedding and kissed a guy she had a one night stand with years ago (He started the kiss but she didn’t pull away for a while). She said it was a stupid mistake and is ashamed about it
Should I forgive my GF?
r/Advice
My GF got drunk at a wedding and kissed a guy she had a one night stand with years ago (He started the kiss but she didn’t pull away for a while). She said it was a stupid mistake and is ashamed about it
Comments
definitely not
One of many stupid mistakes if you stay with her.
You can if you want but she has just given you a window into your future if you stay. Do you think that a day will come that you fully trust her again? Maybe in a couple years. Why live like that.
i’d say no, especially if y’all have any other problematic parts relationship
Yep. I would. It was a mistake, she admitted it. If it happens again then maybe that’s a concern but honestly, we all make mistakes we regret, especially drinking,
no
You can forgive her, but that doesn’t mean you have to remain her boyfriend. She’s ashamed…cool. It was a stupid mistake…I’m glad she admits it! But now she can be someone else’s problem. Accept her apology and let her go
Did she come clean? How did you find out? I don’t know.. people can make mistakes but they have to have genuine remorse and be willing to work to change things. How old are you? How long are you together? Only you can answer if you can actually forgive and move on
No dont forgive her. Next time she will go further
Let it go already.
I wouldn’t.
It’s not a mistake, it was a decision
I’ve been EXTREMELY drunk and I’ve never kissed another guy nor wanted to. God forbid a dude attempts to kiss me he wouldn’t have any lips left to do that. I’m well aware of my actions when I’m extremely drunk and I know what I’m doing. Alcohol is so excuse for cheating. WITH THIS IN MIND should you forgive? Forgive doesn’t mean forget. I’ve forgiven people that have done me wrong but did I become friends with them after or become nice to them? Absolutely NOT!
Now should yall break up? Well it depends. How did you find out? Have yall been together a long time? How long ago did she do it? When did you find out?
😂😂😂
What happens is she goes to another wedding or party and does it again with a different guy?
Cheat once, gone. Find yourself another lady king, and keep that head high
No. Firstly if she gets drunk enough (often enough) that she’s not in control of herself, that’s just drama waiting to happen in the future, next if she’s going to be so liberal with her affections when drunk that’s an underlying thing that’s not going away.
At the very least her actions suggest she selfishly gets carried away without considering you, out of sight out of mind. This guy might have been a one night stand. What if the next guy isn’t?
You don’t need that drama. Either she respects you and that boundary is strong or it isn’t, in this case, it isn’t
Let it go
nope. she has no integrity and doesn’t take accountability. it’ll be something much worse in the future and you can prevent yourself a lot of pain right now.Either way, best of luck.
No. The precedent was set. If it happened it will happen again
Only if you want to make a stupid mistake yourself.
Good lord this is over a kiss that she didn’t even instigate??
Forgive her for what?
As a chick… no
She could definitely regret it but she still risked the relationship
Would you want her to forgive you if it was reversed?
Forgive, eh maybe, but not gonna forget. Drunk or not, she knew what she was doing and who she was doing it with. That’s not a mistake. Obviously, at the time, your relationship wasn’t that important to her. There’s no amount of drunk that’ll make me forget who my guy is. I’d kick the legs out from underneath someone who’d sneak in for a kiss. Drunk or not, my lips belong to me and my guy. You don’t forget that stuff.
No! Luckily its a gf and not a wife. You stay and you will be less. You will be a man that will tolerate disrespect from your partner. Not only was it a kiss, but it was a past one night stand (not even a fling or past relationship). Have some pride in yourself. Her lack of judgement while dating you. You never crossed her mind until she thought of explaining to you. Another thing, if she told you without you finding out she wants to know the threshold of your manhood and what she can get away with. Stay with her and you will have a wife/baby mama that dont respect you.
Nope, I’ve been there
Kiss a woman when drinking and see how much forgiveness she has
Fuck her one last time and leave her
So she just so happened to be at a wedding with the guy she hooked up with for one and then was obviously socializing with them as well which In my mind is grounds for break up in its own. Easy dump and move on.
I’ve made the mistake too many times OP. Leave her, don’t look back, you’ll end up getting hurt again in the future.
Even if you think no this girl is different, my situation is different, these commenters don’t know about our bond, how it was truly a mistake or how beautiful she is.
I once thought that and learned these type of girls are bad news.
I wish I had Reddit when I was younger to ask the questions you’re asking now.
You will be much happier with someone who appreciates you no matter when you find them.
Did she tell you of her own free will in the name of honesty and integrity? Or did you find out from someone else?
Because telling you herself is showing accountability, which means her remorse may be genuine. Perhaps consider staying with her if you really love her, unless it happens a 2nd time, at which time you bail with no questions asked.
BUT if someone else told you.. just get out. She’s dishonest.
As a woman, I think that you need to have a deep discussion with yourself about this relationship. I say this because if your girlfriend was able to kiss another guy in a drunken state of mind, what’s gonna stop her from doing that in a sober state of mind without you knowing? As being in a relationship myself, whenever I am in a non-sober state of mind, the thought of another man, let alone kissing him, has NEVER crossed my mind.
I’m just saying that in my opinion, being able to kiss, hook up or cheat on your significant other, while being drunk, high, OR SOBER, proves deep down that that person does not have as strong feelings for their partner.
And the fact that this was with a guy she had a one night stand with years ago makes me think if they’ve been in contact over the years bc why would he randomly kiss her at a wedding?
Even if you did forgive her, why would you want to live with that thought in your head potentially for the rest of your life? I feel like only people who have no level of possessiveness over their partner could forgive cheating.
You should provide a lot more context.
How long have you two been together?
Has anything at all like this happened before?
Did she come to you and tell you on her own?
How long in between when it happened and when she told you?
There are a surprising amount of comments saying, “If it had been a stranger, maybe, but she knew the dude so no pass!” Realistically, this kind of thing is much more likely to happen with someone that its already happened with before because there is a familiarity there (whether we want to acknowledge that or not, since we all want to be the only person our partner has ever touched!) So, no, if it had been a stranger that would be worse. That would mean that while the girlfriend was intoxicated there was a lot that led up to the kiss with the stranger. Meeting them. Flirting with them. Suggestive looks. Repeat rendezvous. More flirting. A kiss. On the contrary to that scenario, the intoxicated girlfriend could have ran into the ex fling, chatted politely, then perhaps the ex fling read her drunken happiness as flirting (since they are familiar with a past) and kissed her or maybe it was actual drunken flirting that led to a kiss. Either way, one scenario takes a long while and a lot more while the other can happen within minutes. Also, not immediately pulling away can also be a sign of being shocked or stunned. This is why you aren’t supposed to drink and drive, intoxicated people have very poor reaction times.
If it has ever happened before, or ever happens again – leave.
If she came to you, told you what happened – she regrets it, didn’t mean for it to occur, loves you and wants no secrets with you.
Are you going to get even with as ex?
She has broken your trust. What will she do to regain your trust? An apology is part of the process, but what steps has she identified that she will be taking to mean this won’t happen again? If I were in your shoes, I would, at the very least, have some more understanding of these before considering forgiveness.
The problem with forgiving these kinds of indiscretions is that you run the risk of seeming to accept it. You can shout, jump up and down and set all kinds of conditions but in her mind you’ve opened the door to acceptance of her going outside the relationship.
This isn’t the woman you should marry and have kids with. She forgot about you while she was kissing someone else. How many more times is she going to forget about you in the future? Especially after getting the nod from you to go ahead.
Sure, you can forgive her. Forgiving her doesn’t mean you have a long future together though. The best she will ever be is a girlfriend to have fun with. Don’t have unprotected sex with her. You have no idea if or when a kiss will turn into something more (if it hasn’t already).
Like everyone is saying, no. If she can do it once she will probably do it again. I have NEVER had the urge to cheat on my partner. I’d honestly rather die and I could not imagine even wanting someone else. She has no respect for you or value for your relationship. Based on your responses to other comments you’re just looking for a reason to stay. Don’t. Find yourself a girl with loyalty.