My DH had went to his mom to confide in her with our relationship when it was going through a rough patch. He trusted her to keep those things between her & him. Which he now knows he shouldn’t have done that. However, I found out today that she went & told his ex wife & first mother of his child everything that was said in regard to private things within our relationship.
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MIL sounds like a gossip and a shit stirrer. The only mitigating factor I could see for her actions would be if the “private things” within your relationship affected the child DH and his ex had together. In that case as the child’s mother there might be a need for ex to have that information. But if the private things were just between you and DH then MIL is 100% out of line.
Unfortunately there’s not much you and DH can do about this. If MIL has already blabbed then you can’t undo that. The only thing you, or more accurately DH, can do is resolve never to tell MIL private information again and take her completely off his trusted confidant list. If he’s not willing to do that you would have a DH problem but it sounds from your post that he’s aware he made a mistake so hopefully you won’t have a problem there.
The problem isn’t just that your mil can’t keep private things private, its that your dh doesn’t keep private things private. With luck, he’s learned a lesson.
My mil is like this, and dh has never known what a boundary was prior to me because his mother would be involved in every choice, so having him now learn that you don’t need a front page add to disclose your personal life stuff has been… turbulent at times. She will literally spend from 7pm until wee hours of the morning gossiping with allll her friends, the amount of times (prior to me going lc then no contact) she would tell me deeply personal things about her cousins child or what ever was wild and I kept telling him all of these people probably know the same amount of stuff about us because that’s how it works, you trade info… he thought I was exaggerating and when his ex (of 16 years at the time) mentioned something about his mom wished he had gotten the vasectomy he was considering prior to meeting me so we couldn’t have children I was done. Told him if it’s not on Facebook it’s not public knowledge and they don’t need to know.
She’s a gossip. Never confide in her again.
tell your husband she’s not to know anything andI mean any of your personal business ever again whether it’s from an argument the two of you had to when you plan on having children to any of your health issues don’t let him tell her anything.. I have to be pretty hard on my husband when it was getting back to me. His mother’s telling everyone about health conditions I have, people I didn’t even know would then come up to me when I was with my husband in public and talk about my health issues to me and I don’t know them at all I have never met they only knew my husband.. I one of them who she goes to church with actually parroted something my mother-in-law always says to me she sounded just like my mother-in-law and the words, “pray it away” I just walked off literally in the middle of a shopping centre. I just walked off and left husband talking to some random woman. i’ve heard that from my mother-in-law dozens of times in regards Simone and my daughter‘s health over the years and that how we should not be taking medication for any of our issues and going to church and praying every night will cure us all both my daughter and I have epilepsy. She’s a fucking idiot and then it’s just one of the problems between us that but yeah, according to her we need to go to church rather than taking medication to stop seizures what a fucking idiot. So I told my husband he wasn’t to tell his mother anything in regards to my health no matter how little it was even if I had a cold sign with my daughter‘s health when she was a teenager my father-in-law knew how to keep his mouth shut so you could confide in him. He wouldn’t go back and tell his wife what you said you had wrong with you but he’s also dead now so there’s no one to keep her in line as far as being such an insulting insufferable idiot and I honestly didn’t think she could be worse than what she was before he died but she got worse after he died. She became Nastier towards me and my daughter just the two of us everyone else was fine but for some reason we were the enemy.
So tell your husband she’s not to know anything about you and that he needs to put that boundary down because he’s the one that talking to her about your issues.
Damn, totally uncool of your MIL! She’s literally breaching the trust familiez should have. No1 deserves this kinda bs. DH needs to keep things on lock. Upvote if ya feel me.