So, my boyfriend 34M and I 30F have been together for 5 years, within the 3 years he was working with his toxic job, eventually quit. Now working on his own business and it’s not going well, and I can feel the depression from him. I have been supporting him just a little bit, invites him to do a little adventure just so he won’t be too depressed of his situation right now. But in our age right now, having no work is weird. I don’t know if I can see my future with a guy like him, but I’m still holding on to him as I really love him. I dont know what to do, cant even talk to him about getting a job. Any advice?
TL;DR Boyfriend 34M and I 30F have been together for 5 years. Bf is jobless for 2 years now
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are You living together and are you now the sole support of the household? If you aren’t supporting him, and he is somehow supporting himself, then this is a smaller problem. However, if he seems to lack ambition and is just going nowhere, that can be a relationship killer.
Why can’t you talk to him about getting a job? Does his depression not indicate that he’s upset with his career path? You make it sound like he’s a deadbeat who is mooching, but it sounds like someone who doesn’t know where to go.
it’s hard to understand being an entrepreneur and there are just going to be times where you’re just exhausted, defeated, self sabotaging. I started my business in 2020 (dumb) and it is much more difficult than a regular nine to five in MY opinion.
When i got to these moments where i felt stuck i always made sure to do something different. sought advice, went to seminars, updated my website or social media accounts.
i also made sure to journal and write down what was happening so that i can look back to see how far i had come.
no one ever shows these moments we always just see the persons success so this part becomes really difficult to manage when you’re not around other start up’s etc.
it will pass as long as he is not just going to stay stuck. if he continues this behavior maybe he’s just not cut out to be a business owner but can find something he loves to work at.
Stay with someone through hard times if they are actually trying to better themselves. I understand him being depressed at his situation, but there is a very small time frame for that before he needs to swallow his pride and go get a job.
Otherwise, you are just dragging around a dead weight.
Is it possible to combine the entrepreneurship with a parttime job? Having a way to have income and create a network before putting all eggs in one basket may be the better path. He can hate working for others, but part of being a contracter is also realising one’s own role in the machine. If it’s not making him money, he has to make a change in what he does or it’s just a hobby. He can’t continue to rely on you to pick up everything at home either.
There are career experts who can advise about ‘if you’re in the field/industry/type of job you should be’ (like an HR person/life coach) and there are also advisors for the specific industry’s, who can help entrepreneurs by looking at their company and wtf they’re doing. It’s not cheap, but perhaps something for your BF to look into, cos it seems like the current path is not happening on his own.
He needs to work on himself. Whatever he’s experiencing in the outer world whether its in his wage jobs or not succeeding in business is because of internal stuf…
🙏