I don’t have anyone to talk to about problems so that’s why I am here. I got handcuffed because of a sting operation and they planted evidence on me, I was definitely guilty of the crime they wanted to get me for so I was okay with that. Approaching the time of my arrest I was dealing with addiction, depression, and I was involved with some underground activities in various capacities. I had a few girlfriends but I loved them all. Meth distorted a lot of things in me before I was arrested. I was using more than anyone else I knew. I had Induced Schizophrenia of different ways. I had a legal job back then in Real Estate and I’m a Web developer which why it took so long to get me if it wern’t for the addictive choices I made.
I am under probation and when I got released I feel like I was paused in time. I look around and the people I used to care about, after I got released I see that they moved on and that I should to. It hurts that they meant so much to me but I didn’t matter to them. I’m talking about a few girlfriends (I didn’t two time any of them) I had before my arrest and some of my friends. I feel sad and hurt. I never show weakness towards anyone except my brother but there are some things I don’t want him to be exposed to. I have a daughter (6 years old) and i’m planning to get married to her mother(my significant other) because she has been there for me at difficullt times and I Love her and my daughter and I want to be the best version of myself while suppprting them. I cheated on her and she forgave me and she took me back. I always gave them child support. I have trust issues. I don’t trust anyone except my father,brother, and sister.
I don’t crave any drugs. I feel left behind. I work 8-10 hours a day doing Real Estate work and Web Design and I always work regardless of how I feel. My family supports me and so does my significant other but there are a lot of things they can’t understand because when I tried to open up, they just told me to forget about it but I want to open up to my significant other but I don’t want her to be exposed to the other side of me she never saw or knew. I just want to be understood so I can get everything I felt and did off my chest.
Advice or suggestions anyone? I’m used to feeling alone but it doesn’t mean I appreciate it.
Comments
If you can swing it – online therapy is a thing and it’s really pretty good. I’ve been using this site for a few months. It’s really helping me. I can text my therapist as much as I need, and we have weekly sessions. She’s helping me with my (severe) anxiety with coping mechanisms and strategies to help with panic attacks, before and during, and is also helping me figure out how to make progress going forward in terms of life stuff.