I’m 28M, and I’ve been feeling lately like I missed out on a whole chapter of life. I never really had a wild phase — no clubs, parties, hookups, nothing too reckless or adventurous. I lived quietly, mostly kept to myself. For a while I think it was due to things like rejection, personal setbacks, maybe even some unprocessed trauma. And over time, I just stopped caring — or maybe got too comfortable being out of that loop.
But now that I’m older, I find myself wondering… did I skip something I might regret not trying? Like should I go to a club, party, strip club — even just once — to get it out of my system? Just to know what that side of life is like?
The thing that makes it harder is that I’d be going into all of this alone. No high school or college friends, no group I “grew up” with — so it feels like showing up to the game after missing the entire season. Like I missed my “baseball strike,” and now I’m wondering if I should even bother stepping up to the plate.
Has anyone else gone through something similar — wanting to explore that scene later in life? Did you feel better afterward, or did it feel kind of empty or forced?
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I’m 28M, and I’ve been feeling lately like I missed out on a whole chapter of life. I never really had a wild phase — no clubs, parties, hookups, nothing too reckless or adventurous. I lived quietly, mostly kept to myself. For a while I think it was due to things like rejection, personal setbacks, maybe even some unprocessed trauma. And over time, I just stopped caring — or maybe got too comfortable being out of that loop.
But now that I’m older, I find myself wondering… did I skip something I might regret not trying? Like should I go to a club, party, strip club — even just once — to get it out of my system? Just to know what that side of life is like?
The thing that makes it harder is that I’d be going into all of this alone. No high school or college friends, no group I “grew up” with — so it feels like showing up to the game after missing the entire season. Like I missed my “baseball strike,” and now I’m wondering if I should even bother stepping up to the plate.
Has anyone else gone through something similar — wanting to explore that scene later in life? Did you feel better afterward, or did it feel kind of empty or forced?
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28 is still young enough to enjoy it.
Perhaps not as recklessly…
Women in the club are not looking for 40 year olds acting like 20 year olds. You need to find young women who want to be lifted up to something better that 20 something boys can’t offer.
And it’s sooooo good.
Didn’t like it then and still don’t like it.
31 and I went straight to day drinking with 50+ year olds
It’s lame dawg, was lame then. Worse now
I wouldn’t go alone. Try to find a group to go with and it’ll be fun. But otherwise it’ll be fine, no one bats an eye at a 28 year old at a club as long as you’re not next to a college campus filled with fake IDs.
29m – I partied hard in college. Moved across the country at 24 right before COVID shut the world down, then was in a long term relationship from 25 to 29. So I basically spent all those years living a pretty tame, relatively uneventful life.
It wasn’t until earlier this year when I got out of that relationship when I started going out again, meeting people, etc. I also got into the rave scene this year.
I turn 30 in December so sure, I may be a little late to the game, but it’s just as fun as when I was 18-22. If anything, the wisdom and maturity I posses now makes everything about it better. I go home when I want to go home, I don’t need to absolutely destroy myself with drugs/alcohol every single night (it still happens once in a while), and I can completely be myself without having any desire to impress anyone or be anyone else besides myself.
Go have fun bro. Life is so damn short, just enjoy it. 30 is the new 20.
28 is too young for the Techno scene if anything lmao.
I didn’t start that until I was 26/27.
I met all new friends. And eventually my wife.
As a later 40s dude, its hella loud and drunks/druggies are really annoying. Gave me a splitting headache and now I am comfortable being old.
If I were 28, single, and going to clubs, I would be looking for that late 20’s early 30’s chick that is over it entirely but got dragged out by her younger friends because she’s single. I think my opening line would be, “I want to be your reason why you ‘can’t come out’ to this sort of thing anymore.” I don’t know if it would work, but in my younger years I saw quite a few women that fit that description, and I have the feeling they would have leapt at it assuming they found me attractive.
If you didn’t do it in your early 20s, if you try to do it now, it’s not going to be the same. The entire scene will be different unless you plan on hanging out with 21 year olds, assuming they’d have you and don’t consider you the creepy older guy trying to hang out with kids.
I was an LJ from about 21 to 33 ish, i never really changed other than clubs closed. That will be the issue, you have no idea what it was like 6 years earlier and it might be very different now. It also depends on country, in the UK i would be at the club between 10-11pm, then leave 3-4 am, sometimes seeing the sun starting to rise on Saturday morning. Also area dependent will be if you can meet anyone, the clubs that was possible you need to be younger and specific club, which was 300-500 people. Everyone in the town went to that place with a few other smaller ones Then you have the ones that have older people (30-50), some preferred those clubs. Really though there will be only a few types you have access too, going will explain to you which you have access too.
I also been to clubs with 4000-5000 people which i felt was way too large, i never met anyone in clubs, other than being mistaken for a film star once (and i still had no interest from others). It did however give me some nice memories from 20-25 years ago.
If you have an urge to try it, then you should try it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be questioning yourself here (and us alongisde).
But, going alone isn’t an option, you will need to have a group of friends who are willing to go out, preferably, 3-4 people. Have a good group can be key ingredient in whole fun aspect of going out.
Nightlife needs to be explored, that is the best way to find a place where you like going out. Your options can vary depending on city you’re living in. In bigger cities, you can find places where people your age are much more frequent than younger crowd, or you can stumble upon older crowd as well. There isn’t any specific rule unless you’re going to places where younger people are more frequent.
I would start by fixing my wardrobe and buying couple of fragrances. Wearing nice clothes and smelling nice can be huge confidence boost.
I did. Missed it when i was young but when my youngest brother about 10 years younger than me started going out with his mates i would join sometimes. I looked young for my age so wasnt out of place in the group. Went as well as i assume it would for anyone that goes to a club.
If you do try and go alone you may not get in just cos you older then thier key demographic. I went back to some of the clubs my bro took me to with friends from work and they wouldnt let us in so you definitely need some young mates to slip in with
The same, just younger people around but you’ll fit in at any dive bar
What do you mean later in life? You are 28 lol.
I’m big into my barfly socialite era and I just turned 30- The biggest piece of advice I can give is to party responsibly
You can do drugs, drink alcohol, and stay up late with people but at the end of it all it’s about how you managed your physical needs. It’s easy to rage when you’re young and early 20a cause your body naturally bounces back and fights the hangover, as a 30+ year old partier it’s about hydration, food/energy, and sleep
As long as it doesn’t affect your ability to hold a job or your finances too much you’ll be fine. Get in the habit of constantly drinking water at the bars or bringing a water bottle to parties, eat plenty of food before an outing so you don’t get fucked up too fast, and learn your limit. I know how many drinks/shots I can do comfortably before I slow down.
As you engage in these environments you’ll see people that don’t have their shit under control and it isn’t pretty. Being young is about doing dumb shit and learning the consequences, so when a fuller adult is blackout drunk or being a nuisance there’s a lot less forgiveness.
In terms of how to get into it there’s a lot of avenues, with the biggest being to find a local bar scene that you like. I work near a bunch of cool cocktail lounges and a nice dive with a pool table, that allowed me to meet a good crew of people that work their jobs and go out a lot. Takes some time to build trust and be invited to the after parties but eventually just being there and being a decent person should be enough to continue to engage with others out on the scene. Granted the catch 22 is that bars are open public spaces so there’s nothing stopping you or anyone that isn’t banned from being there. You can also learn about the rave/convention circuit which is more about weekend long travel and partying at destinations like concerts or hotel chains that host stuff
All in all you are young enough to get into the scene, hope any information helps!
Clubs aren’t for everybody. Try it and see if you like it.
I’m almost 44 and married. I still go out clubbing occasionally either by myself or with a friend
Admittedly not often, only a few times a year. And my primary intent is to see a dj I really like, get lost in the music and dance, then head home and sleep
I’m there primarily for the music and to enjoy that. It’s actually really nice to be by yourself and find yourself lost in the zone. A mental escape from all the busyness of life whilst my body gets a lot of cardio in
I think if I was single and trying to hookup, at my age, I’d come across as a bit of a creep. But I’ve never gone out clubbing for that reason. It’s just been an unexpected outcome a few times, back in my younger days when I was single
My advice to you: find a friend who has experience, you get along well with and trust. Go out together and try a few things – dj, music festival, strip club (or more) – whatever it is you feel you’ve missed out on (I’ve done it all). Some things you’ll enjoy, others you’ll find it’s not for you. That’s fine – where you are at it’s more about the experience and getting feedback from that
As long as you are not engaging in any really reckless or stupid behaviour that can have huge legal or worse consequences, and it’s really bugging you, go out and do it. You’ll surely have a few things you decide nup, not for me. But that’s a life lived, a story to tell years later
Within this context you’ll regret never doing what you want more than being disappointed in finding out for yourself
Just keep safe, respect others and keep an open mind
Recently went to the club solo, also 28M, and done it a couple of times.
It is a mixed experience; if you enjoy alcohol and veryveryvery loud music, you’ll have a good time for sure. Full stop, that is plenty of reason to go. Also, if you are good at talking with women, enjoy dancing, want to meet people on a shallow level, it’s great for that too. But while a club is definitely not the worst place to chat up, it is logistically unyieldy; do you shout-chat at the bar, where it’s probably too loud? Can’t talk at all on the dance floor at all. The club I hit had an outdoor area which was much better, but it felt like I was putting myself into an existing group when I tried chatting with someone. Once, I attended and caught the back end of a Love Island viewing party, and that helped a lot of the above, since it catalyzed conversation and the club was 90% women, but your milage will vary greatly depending on the day and quality of venue.
But there’s also a way for it to be a net-loss if you aren’t prepared, even if everything goes “well”. Last time I went out, I felt worse for it, and I didn’t have a hangover; I felt totally invisible by the end. See a girl that I want to talk to, wait a bit, her man gets back from the bar. Chat with someone for a few minutes, then go to different segments and never talk again. I have no idea how to initiate a hook-up, so an hour after my last drink, I just left, by myself, and drove home. I don’t even have a very professional sleep schedule, but the venue opened at 11 and I was done at 1, then had to stick around till 1:30 to be safe to drive.
Overall, it’s definitely something I recommend doing a couple times; you’ll quickly figure out if you like it or not. At very least, I had a good time the first time, when it was novel.
I know a few people who didnt party much in their 20’s but idk if they had some crisis or just coincidentally discovered it later but they’re party animals now in their 30’s. Like going out and blacking out 2-3x a week and constantly hungover. As someone who got it out of my system, I cant imagine what those binge drinking hangovers feel like but it is a good time. I guess the only thing is, you kinda have to find a crowd with similar aged people. Dont want to be that “old guy” hanging out at a college bar on 18+ night lol. I remember 100% getting creepy vibes whenever I saw an “older” guy tryna chat it up with college girls and they also felt the same way
I’m 34 and I can’t think of anything less than I’d rather do than go fucking clubbing. You didn’t miss shit
Im gonna be brutally honest with you. You didn’t miss the boat entirely, but you’re joining the race in last few steps.
Most people are done with the club scene at 28, even if you muster up the courage to go by yourself it’s gonna be weird in there. The vast majority will be 18-25 (depending where in the world you live).
My suggestion would be to attend concerts instead, they’re a really easy way to make friends. Most people are on some kind of social lubricant, you have common ground, and its a fun environment. What’s even easier is local electronic shows. In my experience it’s a fantastic subculture, and even more people are on even more social lubricant so it’s SUPERS easy to go up and talk to people