I just want to start by saying I know I am a terrible person for this and I just don’t know what to do
I am 17M and I dated my first girlfriend for 10 months, my whole junior year, and then over the summer I broke up with her for no reason (in hindsight). My reasoning at the time was that I was bored and essentially I just wanted to be a player (cringe ik). I really hate myself for ever doing that. At the beginning of this year, my senior year, this other girl texted me on instagram and we started talking and eventually I asked her out mid-October. A little over a month ago, I had a dream about my first girlfriend and ever since then I have just not been able to forgive myself for breaking up with her and I just miss her so much. I am my current girlfriend’s first boyfriend and I just can’t bring myself to say anything. I don’t want to ruin another girl’s first relationship. But I can’t get over my first love. I don’t know where these feelings came from. After the breakup until when I had the dream, I didn’t have a care in the world. I was an even worse person than I am now. My current girlfriend, 16M per subreddit rules, has had all of her previous talking stages and such ruined by the guy’s ex, and so I just feel absolutely terrible about the situation. My ex is dating another guy and I crumble inside whenever I see them together. I just want her back but I can’t just leave my girlfriend. She talks about our future so much. It would destroy her.
This is the main idea, but I am more than willing to give more details if needed. Please, anybody, what should I do?
tl;dr: I thought I was over my ex and got into a new relationship, but I guess I’m not anymore and I don’t know what to do.