They’re my friend since practically birth, and have moved to a new country a few hours drive away from me to be with their spouse. They invite me over often, but they constantly fight and nitpick over little things, leaving me with an upset stomach and a deep regret of going out to visit. I love my friend dearly, but don’t want to become one of those people that is always dumping on their friend’s spouse. I fear that I will drive a wedge between me and my friend. How can I politely reject their invites to come visit them?
My friend and their spouse constantly bicker
r/Advice
Comments
“Thanks for the invitation, but I’m afraid I’m not going to be able to make it. Maybe another time.”
Repeat as necessary.
If your friend asks why you cannot come out, then simply explain to your friend the truth.
You are entitled to not experience stress.
You can also ask your friend to come to visit you.
If visiting your friend leaves you with a stomachache and regret that’s your body screaming don’t go back.
Protect your peace politely decline suggest meeting elsewhere and don’t set yourself on fire to keep their chaos warm.
Make plans with your friend without the spouse.
Some people that is their love language. I don’t get it either. If your friend doesn’t respond to a conversation about home it affects you emotionally.
When in doubt make fun of them. Hopefully that will allow them to see how ridiculous it is.
My mom and stepdad used to get into screaming matches constantly. Now as an adult as soon as they start to pick at each other I stand up and say “I’ll be headed home now” no further comments needed they know why I’m leaving and my brothers have told me it ends the fight right there. I’d ask them once that they not behave that way around you as it makes you uncomfortable and then excuse yourself if they start up