im 20(f) and my boyfriend is just a year older. ill call him seb. seb has a girl best friend abi and we have another mutual friend named alex (all fake names). seb and i started dating last year, hes a complete introvert and loves playing video games. im really really bad at playing games but i wanted to learn really bad so i could spend time with him. so the three of them just kind of let me play and tag along, because im sebs girlfriend. we started playing this game called league of legends. im really really bad at this game, and because seb plays in a different section he cant really help me. so i started playing a character that just attatches onto another player to shield. so i was playing with alex basically the entire game. its really easy and for a while everybody was pretty happy because we were moving up ranks (like getting better at the game). but today seb blew up on me and yelled at me in front of both of our friends in our call. alex and i play together the entire game and away from the rest of the team, and I used my own money so me and alex could match skins. skins are basically just cosmetic accessories for your character. I shouldve known better but seb got super angry at me and told me to refund it. i dont know what i should do.
my boyfriend is really angry at me… because of league of legends
r/Advice
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What should you have known better? You didn’t do anything wrong and your boyfriend’s response to something so innocuous is ridiculous and a big red flag for control and jealousy issues.
It’s really sad when your entire relationship’s fate is in the hands of a video game. To me that shows how little he cares.
So you’re playing Yummi and he’s not ADC? I don’t know why he would care but I guess the matching skins thing is what he’s upset about? Just tell him to play ADC.
Sooo you took the time to try and learn what is considered a very difficult and extremely competitive game so you can spend quality time together. And he couldn’t be bothered to try and help teach and guide you along? Then gets mad at you becaude hes jealous about you playing with another friend because its an easier role in the game… This guy sound really immature and selfish.
If my partner expressed interest in gaming with me and had no experience in gaming. I would want to help guide them and help them learn, and show some understanding. Thats what a healthy and normal relationship looks like. Mutual respect.
(Also i wouldn’t have started with LoL, there are plenty of other co-op games that are more beginner friendly)
Being yelled at for such a trivial thing is an indication of his toxic behavior and you need to really be honest with yourself and rethink the relationship. You deserve better, you deserve a spouse that treats you with respect.
so in league of legends, there are a lot of e-couples who play that cat combo, and they love matching skins and discord profile pictures. i personally wouldn’t do what you are doing because of the optics. probably he would prefer you don’t play this game at all if it means you latch onto another guy the whole game + you pay to look cute together with said guy.
but also your bf sounds very immature. you should stop playing asap. competitive video games bring out toxic traits in the nicest people and it’s not like couples need to do everything together
scary reaction!!! his behavior is unacceptable even if his emotions are valid. personally i’d leave him or at least confront him on his actions. I’ll say this though, as good as it sounds on paper, League is relationship cyanide.
So you played bot as yuumi and Alex was an adc lol gotcha
Bf sounds hella insecure. Is Alex a guy friend?
YTA yummi player
I don’t know what any of this means, but your man sounds like an asshole.
What you should do is tell Seb that you don’t date toddlers, and he can either address the situation and whatever hsi gripe is like a mature adult or he can hit the streets.
i think he is boardering on abuse
Your bf is immature. Getting jealous is natural, but the kind of confusion and hurt he is inflicting shows what matters more to him.
Ignoring the fact you know that abi is your bf’s best friend (imagine you knew her as just his friend), how would you feel if your bf got matching T-shirts and/or matching bracelets with her? There can be romantic connotations associated with matching cosmetics between two people. It’s not about league of legends.
It’s probably insecure of him to be this angry over it but imagine showing human flaws be warrant to break up. Understand his perspective and either work around it or help towards it. If you don’t want to, sure break up, but you’d still need to communicate.
Yuumi players
You literally did nothing wrong? Your characters team up and you’re friends with Alex after playing this game for however long with him, but your boyfriend is immature and jealous and threw a temper tantrum over you doing friend things? That’s pathetic tbh. Also partners full on yelling at you is not normal or ok despite so many people normalizing it.
I’m coming from the league of legends sub (it was cross posted there). Here’s some useful info.
Supports in general have a really unhealthy stereotype of being girls who are playing a more nurturing/submissive/less intensive role to help their BFs, usually playing a carry. It’s also a stereotype for couples playing carry and support to match skins. So by playing support with matching skins with a guy who’s not your BF, people online might assume you’re actually dating.
You’ve done nothing wrong, at worst you were accidentally a little insensitive. Your BF refused to communicate and instead got angry. I can’t judge how you do relationships but IMO you need to get him to tell you how he feels and why. If someone can’t communicate their emotions over small things, then they can’t do it over big things.
Your mistake was playing League. That game breeds toxicity lol. Just kidding, you didn’t do anything wrong, he’s being insecure, immature, and jealous.
Ask him to play bot lane with you. Although he’ll probably get mad if you’re not “good enough” at support and make him lose out on kills or get killed. But that game is generally too high stress for you to have fun together, unless he doesn’t care about losing.
I’d try to play a different game with him.
Sounds pretty pathetic lol, even asking to refund it is beyond me. I don’t know maybe video games are unpractically (unhealthy) important to him though..
Ngl, of all the games, the amount of time, knowledge, and effort someone would have to put into for League of Legends is a huge turnoff to ever playing it.
As for your issue you tell him they’re just cosmetics and the only reason you play is for him.
If he has a problem with it have HIM give you the money so you don’t use the costume. Or he can refund you and you just do things besides league, with or without him.
Your boyfriend is insecure and lacks social skills. Seems to not know how to deal with uncomfortable situations as well. So he gets angry.
You didn’t do anything wrong. You spent money on another boy. His insecurity screamed at him. He got angry. I would just move on if I were you. But understand it will happen again. You are not dating an emotionally developed adult.
Is this real life?
i’m curious as to what else happened in the game. and what role he plays. if for example he was 9-0 on Garen top and you + Alex were feeding from bot yet you stay attached to him the whole game, and then you lose…i’d be pissed lowkey even if you’re new (you can’t be that new if you are indeed climbing in rank). and the skin makes it worse. like why are you spending money for a matching skin. it’s like getting a friendship ring in real life, borderline PDA from a prolific league player’s perspective. i get a lot of people don’t understand that.
but the game is made to be very frustrating overall which is a big reason i don’t play anymore. i’d suggest playing only ARAMs with him.
You can spend your money on whatever skins you want. Your making an effort to join him in something he enjoys how much effort has he spent to do something you enjoy?
Deserved for playing Yuumi smh.
I joke, it’s unreasonable for your boyfriend to get mad just because you spent money on buying yourself and your friend a matching pair of skins. If it was a Xayah/Rakan one, I might think he’s a little more justified, but I don’t know if this is the full story!
You should ask him and talk to him, because maybe he’s upset about something else, or a series of something elses and he’s just blowing up now. It’s at trivial thing at the end of the day, and recoverable.
You did nothing wrong, you were just trying t be included and have fun, his reaction sounds more about jealousy and control than the game itself. You deserve to be respected, even in a video game.
As someone who’s played MOBAS for ages now if you are all in a call playing he can definitely teach over the call easily. It’s not a lot of explaining haha. Or just ARAM and go nuts while learning lol.
That’s why my botlane is always 0/20
He probably feels like you’re moving onto someone else, playing away with the other person the whole time, then even buying a matching skin, that’s exactly how it’s gonna appear and anyone saying otherwise doesn’t have the maturity or communicative skills to look at both sides.
I’m not excusing his behaviour though either before anyone throws a hissy fit, seb is still acting toxic and immature, he’s still choosing to act out in such a bratty way and not communicate properly in a respectful manner how your actions make him feel.
Normally I’d be all talk to him and point out to him how his behaviour is making you feel, but I’d just leave the relationship altogether, I’ve never not had or seen one experience where League players have or end up with the personality of a toxic parasite, there’s a reason that game has the toxic reputation that it does.
If your trying to find things in common to make the relationship last longer, leave it’s not worth it. If it’s the only thing he exists for he’s not worth it. If you have to make an effort to have a relationship and he’s not putting in effort, he’s not worth it. If he doesn’t realize what he has said is wrong and hasn’t apologized he isn’t worth it. I dated a guy that I didn’t know he almost killed his ex by strangulation over her tripping on the extension cord to the PlayStation and it unplugging. If I knew that I wouldn’t of traumatized myself. Communication is key.
League of Legends can be a stressful and dangerous inducing game. My partner plays it’s very much a team game when a quick game can last 15-30mins (generally a good game) But if u get people not playing the game doing their own thing dying all the time and giving the other team money can be 30-60mins (occasionally get a really good game with a competitive team, but mostly trash) my partner will often get off the game when it’s been a 50min game even if he’s only played one game.
If someone yelled at me in front of other people regardless of your relationship to me I would assume that they understood that that is their last time speaking to me.
You absolutely have to teach people how to treat you
Soooo your bf won’t play with you and then gets mad at you because he won’t play with you… Sounds pretty childish. Is Alex single? He sounds like a decent guy who WILL play with you.
You’re 20. Go find a dude who washes his ass
My partner has just informed me that within league culture, matching skins is a couples kind of thing- especially buying a skin to match and it looks worse when it’s a support/ADC since the ‘support girlfriend’ is kind of a stereotype.
Not being a League player, I ALSO would not have thought anything of matching a skin with one of our team-mates we play with all the time, but since your bf IS a League player that’s why he crashed out, without considering there is no way you would know the implications in the culture.
Really, he should have explained to you what it told everybody and why he didn’t like it instead of raging outright, but you’re both immature. Have a conversation about it I reckon.
EDIT: Also you went out of your way to play with him, why isn’t he playing your ADC?
While the BF does sound insecure it is kind of weird buying a skin to match with a guy who is not your boyfriend
Your bf is just another insecure gamer that has likely never held a gal’s hand
Sorry but this is wild that he is mad at you over League enough to where you feel validated to make a reddit post
I’d tell him to man up or you’re moving on cause damn he is making the whole Yuumi support stereotype true in his head and is causing an issue where there isn’t any
seb is like 90% league player
10% boyfriend
If he disappoints you again just yell “Double Kill… your chance at finding a fun flexible lady who likes you”
STARDEW VALLEY?!? this post is so funny
I used to often request to have dates with guys for the first time at a local barcade, because you can often find out what sort of person he is by how he interacts with you around gaming. Worked like a charm.
Imagine if any sort of REAL conflict were to happen in this relationship? Imagine if you had kids?
You’re 20. If you’re already on reddit complaining about your boyfriend, it’s time to dump him.
I’d be happy if my girl played. Let alone actually tried to rank up and ANY game. Tbh this is indicative of his communication.
OP, aside from the boyfriend being a jerk, i just wanted to let you know there’s tons of YouTube videos to teach you the basics of the game! I watched some and it blew my mind how much better i got in a quick span of time. It became more fun when i understood it even more. I went from support only to playing all roles (except ADC), even jungle.
Sounds like a loser
This is like deciding to get into heroin so that you can spend more quality time with your heroin addict boyfriend
He let you play league of legends he’s not a good partner
This is crazy LOL hes delusional. Matching with ur adc as yuumi caused him to tilt?
Ir bf should get good and play adc or keep coping.
AS A WOMAN WHO’S A.) BEEN PLAYING LOL FOR 10+ YEARS B.) PLAYS WITH MY (NOW) HUSBAND
If you bf wanted…. He could switch lanes at any time to play with you. Everyone should be able to play multiple roles, if you play LOL, you’ve played bot lane before…period.
Especially while TEACHING you, his GF, how to play the game, he should have stuck with you. And as far as him “being in another part of the map” I hope you mean he’s just staying top lane because if he is playing mid or jungler and NEVER rotates bot… Your boy sucks at the game in general 😂
Sounds to me like he’s super jealous and probably bad at League of Legends and putting some of that blame on you, which sounds like a Mid Laner energy to meeeee…. The game can be super fun tho… The worst part is always the teammates (even when you’re playing with friends lol)
You do you, enjoy the game. If he wants to be all cute and matching, y’all could have practiced bot combos and perfected Xayah and Rakkan, the lovers, and been all cute and matchy matchy… But he didn’t. He wanted to play what he wanted, in the lane he was comfortable, and left you to fend for yourself (i know how hard teaching someone how to play in game is, especially when you’re instructing from a diff lane)… Deal with it big boy 🤷🏻♀️ (My hubby agrees, he said if he’s a mid Laner just leave now and find yourself a solid supp 😂)
Your mistake was to share your life with someone who plays league of legends. You should be more careful about that in the future.
dude sounds like he dodges the water droplets in the shower
Ur bf is a nerd ass crybaby
I’d also find it weird if my girlfriend paid money to match skins with a male friend. That’s e-couple behaviour, like putting his/hers type usernames
He shouldn’t have yelled. That’s too much. But I definitely get why he’s annoyed if you start playing the game he loves and you end up reenacting couple stereotypes with a male friend
I would love if my wife played games with me. My son is a gamer so we do co-op sometimes when his friends aren’t on. Your BF sounds immature. I also thought games were more important when I was younger (i played EQ from 1999-2004), but my understanding changed with age and life experience.
Optics or not… You’re not a gamer you weren’t to know how it could be perceived. Your bf is lucky that you put in the effort to take an interest in his gamer life. He was wrong to rage at you, but I’d start with a conversation before you throw the towel in
LOL leads to a ton of drama and toxicity in relationships, and in the community of LOL itself. This isn’t a life or safety issue….and he is blowing up at you. It starts small….and sure maybe he cares about this RECREATIONAL activity more than he should. But you aren’t expected to babysit his immaturity. I have been on both sides, and kicked my own butt for being a dick to my partner about gaming….its a stupid thing to do. If he can’t own up and call himself out and apologize…it speaks volumes for the future issues and how they will be handled in your relationship
I’m betting none of OP, seb, abi, and alex have ever physically been in the same room together… 😀
your bf mad you’re duoing with his homie 🤣
This is on the same realm as. Someone’s wife calls me the “work husband” and their real husband at home gets he’lla pissed at me and her.
Oof, this is really triggering for me because I used to be Seb. In fact I use to get irrationally jealous of my then gf when she even played League with another guy. Oh god the memories are making me cringe.
Let me give you some honest advice from Sebs perspective: League of Legends is a game that requires an immense time commitment to even become slightly good at the game. Seb likely has a lot of pride in his skill level and probably wants to impress you with his gameplay. Seb is likely forgetting that, it’s just a game, your his girlfriend at the end of the day, and laughing and gaming with another male friend isn’t the reason people break up. Insecurities like this though, that will break a relationship.
Don’t return the skin. You need to set boundaries. Instead, offer to play a co-op game with just the two of you. Something simple like Brotato or castle crashers. That way he can show off his super cool gamer skills and you guys can have fun with just the two of you.
When I was this guy, all I wanted was to feel seen. But the only thing I had to show was my skill at League. Hopefully Seb learns to love more about himself than the game he plays.
Sorry to say this but Seb ain’t the one girl
Don’t date people that play LoL
Relationships based on videogames are absolue shit.
Dump his ass , he’s just a piece of shit that doesn’t appreciate having you as a partner. Why would you even want to be with someone like that?
OP, drop the zero and get with the hero (me). I’ll play league of legends with you