I am a 28F and recently have began crying and feeling very upset/shameful after completion of masturbating. This is new for me & for context was in a sexual relationship until about three months ago and while in the relationship very rarely masturbated as I was sexually satisfied through the sexual activity in the relationship. Any suggestions on what’s going on or how to navigate this? Thanks in advance.
Feeling of shame after masturbation
r/Advice
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You’re still grieving. Just let it all out.
Sex is supposed to be about give and take. For some, if you are only taking and not giving, it can be difficult.
I can relate so much, it almost feels like I wrote it. I think it might be something that we got used to. To me it’s more about an emotional connection and shared pleasure, so doing it by myself feels somewhat weird. It’s like I’m doing something illegal. Something that reminds me of how lonely i am.
It sounds like your orgasm is reminding you of your relationship. Everything you orgasm reminds you of what you’re missing.
Hopefully you can start to move on from the relationship and find someone new to distract you
I feel so much shame too every time. And im 16. I try to change my ways fr. But it’s so hard to.
You share 99% of your DNA with chimps just like every one of us, and your #1 biological purpose for living is to reproduce
Don’t feel ashamed!! There is nothing to feel ashamed of… I mean of course it’s not as fulfilling as sex with a partner, but we all have needs that need to be met. So, use this as a self exploration moment in your life… Don’t think about the past and focus on what makes you happy rn
Try to enjoy the experience and dream of what’s to come
Maybe worth looking into Postcoital dysphoria? I don’t get it after masturbating, but had a similar hormonal response related to breastfeeding that put it on my radar. I hope it eases with time, I know dealing with something like that can be really distressing and kind of ends up feeding into the issue. Sending good vibes your way❤️
Wait !!??
You mean women also do masturbate
How ???
You’ve got to be kidding me. Shame? Really? It’s truly the safest way to get an orgasm. Absolutely harmless. And masterbating is very healthy and necessary. If you’re being shamed by religion, keep in mind we are created by God. And the more you learn about yourself, the better lover you become.
Dude here, but the hormone change post orgasm can make me extremely emotional when I’m missing someone I was close to. To the point I’ll ignore my urges for days on end. Usually after a few months of being alone it stops for me, and I feel relief again.
“We have to do it , it’s part of our lifestyle”
Post nub clarity. But honestly post nut clarity doesn’t have to necessarily come with shame. Unless you were masturbating to something to be ashamed.
It’s cool I love to
Omg
You’re processing trauma if this was just a casual connection this happens to everyone. I would recommend therapy for this or support groups on recovery from this type of behavior your local college campus might have Love and Fidelity Networks set up. Infidelity can be by ourselves too when we betray ourselves for casual connections.
Not sure if this is what you’re experiencing but most of my female friends have been able to process a wide range of trauma in those networks 🙏 good luck
I have always felt a great deal of shame and quickly fall into bad dissociation afterwards.
Same. That’s why I do it once a week or once every two weeks at like 2 am and go right to sleep after.
Masturbate better so you fall right asleep afterward, skips the whole guilt for no identifiable reason thing.
Post nut clarity, that’s all.
It’s biblical my friend. Many will say I’m stupid or crazy, but it’s all real. The Bible is the only truth in our world that isn’t hidden behind 13,000 lies. The devil made “religion” to confuse us. 1 truth among 13 lies is playing Russian roulette with eternal damnation. It’s the reason most people avoid even playing the “game” and live on their own accord. Having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the only goal here. Using your free will to choose him is what is most important. Without free will if we worshipped him we would just be slaves, free will is how he weeds out the lamb from the sheep. His children know his voice. God is calling you to walk away from this, and other things we do daily that cause us to Sin. Pray to Jesus, ask him to forgive your sins and strengthen you to not do them anymore, and ask him to enter your heart and guide your life thru his Holy Spirit. The biggest lie we have been told is that we die. Once this body releases us, we go to heaven, or we go to Hell. Sadly many will only believe in heaven when they are sitting in the pit of Hell. And still they will call to God and not Jesus. Preachers like me won’t be able to reach you daily to remind you that you’re alive and your life matters. Don’t trust the humans my lady.. The only valid advice many can give is to pray for answers, I have many bits of advice as many others do, but information you’re not ready for is just as tasteless as those little flat colored cracker “candies” that my wife loves lol. It will serve you no good. A sword you can’t yet swing. God is real, Jesus Christ is our way to him. Read the Bible sister. Welcome to the end of the Matrix, I expect several comments to come beneath this telling me I’m wrong, stupid or to get this religious BS out of here, and never forget, it was the religious LEADERS who lied on Jesus Christ , who plotted against him, and forced Pilot to Kill him in the worst way. That tells you what you need to know about religion, it’s made by man, and every man can be compromised by the devil unless he devotes himself daily to God and Prays constantly for guidance and protection. It’s all real dude, it always has been. It takes real work to walk righteously and you will fall and that’s okay, every time you fall get back up and pray for forgiveness and strength and pray pray pray my friend. Sexual immorality is the only Sin that the Sinner does against HIMSELF/HERSELF, all others are done to other people. The feeling you’re feeling is common, most just write it off. It feels disgusting, I couldn’t believe the stuff I had on my phone at one point. Nothing weird, just humans doing barbaric things. The reason it feels so wrong is because it is so wrong my friend. I will pray for you, and I will use your username to reach you through my prayer because the lord knows, and as you grow in Christ my friend, the beautiful silence, the loss of friends you may experience because certain activities won’t interest you anymore, it’s all a testament to true repentance. Which is walking differently than before, and it takes time my friend. So be patient. Like I said i do expect comments below mine to call me names, demons love to throw hate at preachers. His name is Jesus, Yeshua.. in Hebrew spelt YHWH.. pronounced (Yahweh) now take a deep breath in, no vowels in his name. His name is the sound of our breaths… inhale (Yah) exhale(weh).. he is the breath of life. Truth is stranger than fiction… he will lead you to your husband, this is him showing you he loves you and telling you that what you’re doing grieves him. My inbox is open if you ever want to talk about how I learned about Jesus. I’m the last person you would think would tell you this. I am a sinner, 8 year navy sailor same age as you, medically retired from cancer and that event is the first time I cried out because I could tell I was going to die. I cried out and prayed what I consider to be my first prayer, woke up to doctors telling me my blood loss stopped miraculously at 1%. I prayed right before bed in the hospital, my levels had to have been below 5% because my brain knew, my body knew, and my soul knew. What was going to happen next, it didn’t hurt, I wasn’t scared, I was just sad. Very very sad. My heart shattered at the thought of leaving my wife and our dogs behind, and Jesus Christ filled every crack and made me whole. 1% before needing an emergency blood transfusion that they would have never known I needed, they would’ve walked in to get blood and I would’ve been cold stiff. Jesus Christ is the 1 %. Peace be with your heart my friend, if you follow Christ in me you have family. Even if you choose not too, you’ll always have a friend. God Bless you homie. Peace.
Why do you feel ashamed there is nothing wrong with masturbating i enjoy it and not shy of it