he’s amazing in every way, but i think something is wrong with me. I cannot feel for him, i definitely care about him, and i would be sad to see him go, but i cannot stand being touched or kissed by him. I only enjoy talking and spending time.
it’s not just him, its everyone, i don’t like being near anyone, i dont like being touched by anyone, and i cannot feel for other people in the ways i think i should.
i thought he was the exception, but he isn’t. I care about him a lot. if i could go nuclear and wipe out all my contacts and live life in solitude i would, but i care about everyone in my life enough to not leave. or maybe im just too scared of the consequences.
i can’t handle this, i’ve never ended a relationship before, not platonically or romantically.
i need him to leave me, and i need my friends to leave me. i’ll figure out the friendship thing later, but i need this sweet boy far far away from me so he can be with someone who will love him for who he is as a whole.
it cant be me.
i can’t just tell him im unable to feel, how cruel is that? i’ve never told this to anyone, i’m so depressed because i trapped myself into this, my friends are noticing something is off with me, i can’t sleep at night, nothing brings me joy, i’m miserable. i don’t want to hurt him. if i could upkeep this act and fulfill his life i would, but my skin crawls whenever he kisses me a little too much, or when he dirty talks me and speaks of our future. i hate when he constantly asks for alone time, and when he treats me sexually. i’m so repulsed. i want to die.
someone please help, i’m dreading our next date.
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you should tell him directly that you don’t want to continue this relationship
1-explain to him all of this, it should pretty much lead to a breakup
2-explain to your friends all of this, and they’ll leave you alone
3-go see a therapist
4-(optional) move somewhere else, far and remote, and don’t socialise any more with anyone. Done.
Maybe you’re asexual?
it is, you, actually. “I don’t like being near anyone” You sound depressed or going through some sort of mental thing. You think it’s just you but it’s not, i used to be the same way until i woke up and realized my mental health was the issue. Felt this way about my boyfriend as well and now we are great. If you’re on birth control this effects this too
There’s 2 options here:
Option A, you breakup with him, not you making him leave you. It sucks to hurt people, but you’re actually hurting him far more by wasting his time when he could be healing and finding someone else who will love him fully.
Option B, you grow up and talk to him about how you’re feeling. Tell him there’s something off sexually and physically… and it’s not him but you, and you want to work on it. I don’t understand why everyone’s first instinct is to dump someone instead of fixing their own shit. If you dump him, he’s never going to date you again, if you try to work with him and improve with him like most couples he will still be with you. Take this advice how you will
You’re going to hurt him more trying to give him a reason to leave you. Sorry but you have to be the one to do it. You don’t need to give any more reason than “sorry I can’t be in a relationship right now.”
It sounds like you may be asexual and wouldn’t be psychically attracted to anyone.
Break up with him. He deserves someone who wants to be all in.
Keep it short and simple.
“I don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I’m sorry to hurt you.”
Talk to him about how you’re feeling. Break up with him, or ask if he’s comfortable taking a break from the physical side for things for a while, if you don’t really want him out of your life. Then, get therapy. Get help. You don’t sound okay.
And don’t do anything horrible in an attempt to make him dump you… that’s a real arsehole move. It won’t make you feel better in the long run.
Communicate.
Your using him as an emotional support boyfriend, and he does not receive what he needs.
Adult up.
If you have been sexually assaulted or molested as a child, please get help. The same goes for if you are depressed or have some other mental disorder possibly happening.
If none of that applies, and you are just asexual with no real root cause, then that is OK also.
That being said, just be honest with him that you two are not compatible and wish him well.
> I think something is wrong with me
Kinda sounds like it. But that doesn’t mean it’s your fault! If this is a new feeling, talk to a therapist about it before you break up with your bf or end any friendships. Future you will thank you
You may be asexual which is fine and all, but wanting to be totally alone is not normal. I think finding a therapist would be wise.
“I really need to talk to you, I have something important I need to say. I don’t want to date anymore. I don’t feel comfortable anymore. It’s not really you specifically, it’s more so me and where I’m at these days and this period of my life. I know that might sound vague but I just don’t have the energy to dive into all of my thoughts and feelings right now. I have to have space to feel better again. And for me to do that, I need to be single.
I care about you a lot. I really hope we can part ways respectfully.”
Or
“You’ve been so kind and supportive, and I’m grateful for that. But I’ve realized I need to step away from this relationship to focus on my mental health. My decision is final, and it’s what’s best for me right now. I truly wish you the best”
This is a depression that needs to be treated in heavy duty therapy asap. By closest friend has this and it ended up causing her to not take care of her self and unfortunately she got sick did not tell anyone and passed away. Please seek help
If it doesn’t bring you anything good, leave it.
you said.you need your bf and your friends to leave you. go seek.prof. help, you will need.your bf and your friends tonget through whatever is causing this, its not normal.or healthy, isolating yourself.further will NOT help
First, the connection issues you are having, therapy can help.
Be honest. I need to end the relationship bc I can’t treat or care for you the way that you deserve until I work on myself some. I have things I need to deal with to be a good partner, and it’s not fair to you if I keep this relationship going on a romantic level until I get myself together.
You may get to the point where being in a relationship is something that you are comfortable with, you may not. But without working through this in therapy, you’ll never get there.
You might want to look into sex repulsed asexuality. That’s what it sounds like to me. I myself am asexual so i can relate to this a little bit.
You might also have to seek professional help cuz you seem to be going through a really difficult time.
Lastly it’s always better to communicate how you feel with your boyfriend. It’s easier to find a solution together than by yourself
Oh Hun (dating myself, but hoping that’s a gentle, empathetic, gender neutral term). It sounds like you are in a deep depression. Tell him how you feel, be honest. Tell your friends the same thing.
Then go get therapy. You aren’t broken, something just needing support and you aren’t able to find it on your own. Find a therapist to help you figure out if this is a sexuality issue, an introvert issue, a neurodivergent issue or whatever.
Strangers on the internet won’t have a cure or perfect answer to solve all your problems. Therapy will help you find those yourself.
You deserve to be happy, you aren’t a monster for feeling the way you do. Don’t be surprised if this guy and your friends decide to stick around and support you though. Eeyore had Pooh, Piglet, and Tigger always around loving him and accepting him for who he was and giving him space when he needed it…well maybe not Tigger, but Tiggers are wonderful things.
Good luck,sweet human, please seek help to figure out your way forward
Show him this post.
Anyone here not telling you to seek professional help are flat wrong. You already know its a you problem. You should explain this to your partner in the best way possible. I realize the problem lies with me, I need to work on this. You’re amazing, but this is how it is for me. I need to work on this and find out why I feel this way.
Honestly, full stop, if you feel this way about everyone, you need to talk to someone professionally no matter what. Be honest. For your own sake and honest for a lot more people down the line. You need to find out why you feel this way. If he chooses to stay, great, if not, that sucks.
Is this how you always feel or does the feeling come and go? If it comes and goes, with a noticeable pattern, you may be dealing with PMDD. Look into it, check out groups on Reddit. A lot of women who experience PMDD feel these exact same feelings about 1-2 weeks per month.
Just tell him what you write down. That you feel that you both should move away from each other. That it is not right for you two to be together.
After I would go to a therapist to find out why you feel that way and if you have a disorder that makes you feel that way.
I wish you and him the best.
Does he not pick up what your putting down. What’s wrong are you not giving ques
Your feelings are very typical for people who have experiencedsexual abuse like it was said in this thread. Or asexuality is as real as any other sexual preference. So you are not as different as you think.But either of those reasons can really make you feel very isolated and alone in these hypersexual times. You just need to learn to come to terms with whatever it is that you are feeling now and know that either you will accept who you are and look for partners that feel the same way or you will change due to either therapy or just self reflection and that would be okay too. Either way you have a right to not be as sexual as others just as other people have a right to be more sexual than others and not be judged either way
Just be honest with him.
You’re self-sabotaging. You need therapy, not a break up.
Tell him plainly: “I care about you, but I can’t be in this relationship. You deserve someone who wants the same closeness you do.” End it directly, give him space, and focus on getting support for yourself.
You should tell me how you feel and then you will figure something out together. I’m sure he will understand if he loves you as you say