Hello! I (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been together for 1 year now and I am very, very happy in this relationship. He is genuinely the sweetest and most caring person in the world. Recently though, something has started to bother me more and more and while I’ve made a few comments to him about it, I haven’t outright said anything.
My boyfriend is fortunate enough to work for his successful family business so right after high school, he was given his job. He did train and learn the ropes, but nearly for the past year, he works maybe 2 weeks out of the month. He gets paid full time for it so big whoop right? Him not working as much doesn’t bother me, it’s the little things that come with it.
For example, there are plenty of days where my boyfriend will be up to an hour late for work and won’t text or notify anyone on his team or family. It’s not a big deal to him.
During work breaks, he’ll take naps and then leave work early to nap more. He’ll be fully energized all night and then crash which is why he comes to work late every day. I know family dynamics are different, but to me it’s just not very respectful. I don’t want him to take this job for granted because other family members have been booted from the business for poor behavior. He also complains when he does have to work. I get it, I mean I complain about clocking in every day too, but he’s working 2 hours max for 2 weeks and getting paid like he’s working 40+. It’s not just regular complaining, it’s full on paragraphs of rants. I also need to know about requesting days off WEEKS in advance and my boyfriend sometimes gets annoyed that I have to work or that I can’t just leave or take work off.
I may be coming off like a jealous hater but I promise i’m not lol. I work full time and make really, really good money my age for something with not many bills. I have evenings free and 2 days off a week so I’m not saying that I work harder than any other human has. I just feel like it’s disrespectful and quite frankly lazy. I know none of us would work if given the opportunity, but I don’t know I just wish that he would be on time and show his family and team that he takes this seriously and values his job. We’re young and we have our entire lives to work so maybe it is bitterness that i’m already there and he gets to chill?
I’m not even sure if I explained all this in a way that makes sense but I want my boyfriend to have goals and discipline and a work ethic that shows he cares about what he’s doing. What can I do about this? How can I go about bringing this up so that I feel fulfilled? I love my boyfriend and he’s amazing, I just feel myself becoming more and more bothered by this. My boyfriend will be 3 hours late to work today because he wants to nap, that’s what prompted this.
TL;DR- My boyfriend works for his family business and continuously arrives late, sometimes hours late to work, complains constantly about having to work more than a few hours, and gets frustrated with me for not having a job as flexible. I’m starting to become frustrated with his low work ethic and prioritizing naps.