Might have shared too much

r/

I (44m) told my closest friend about a ”treat” my wife (Kelly, 41f) gave me Monday morning, and evidently he mentioned the story to his wife. She then made a comment about it to Kelly (they are good friends). Kelly told me she was surprised that I shared this info in detail with this particular guy (he has a big mouth), and I’m wondering if should follow up with him.

The story that I told was basically this. Last week was a very rough one – my father had some severe health issues. I had been in a funk. Kelly got up early to get ready for work on Monday, and after she got out of the shower, she came to me (I was still in bed) and asked how I was feeling, if I was doing ok. She then asked if I wanted a “treat.” She undressed me, gave me a soft massage with fingernails from head to toe, then gave me some very soft and nurturing oral, made me finish, and left for work.

I was grateful and thought this was very cool and unselfish, and I just bragged a little to my friend. He then shared the story with his wife.

Should I follow up with him and let him know it wasn’t cool for him to share? Or was I the jerk for telling? Or is this a big nothing? Kelly isn’t really bothered, just surprised.

Comments

  1. jolenemoonlight Avatar

    Honestly, it’s a bit of a gray area, but it sounds like your friend crossed a line. If it made Kelly uncomfortable, I’d follow up with him and set some boundaries on what’s cool to share and what’s not

  2. Adriana_Mole Avatar

    Easy fix: don’t tell people things with the condition that they can’t share with their spouse. You lived and learned.

  3. Intelligent-Mail-386 Avatar

    There are some things you should never discuss with friends! And that’s one of them.
    You can follow up with him and ask why he’d mention it to his wife, but honestly I can’t blame him. Clearly he is very close with his wife and they are like best friends, so naturally he’ll tell her things like that.

  4. AliveBit8576 Avatar

    Don’t share your bedroom experiences! It’s between your wife and yourself. Oh and us but that’s all.

  5. ResidentAllie Avatar

    What kind of assholes do you have for friends. And these assholes can’t keep stuff to themselves and instead gossip like midwifes? I hope your wife is pissed at you, are you 14?

    Jfc.

  6. yeender Avatar

    You learned not to tell this dude anything. Which it sounds like you maybe already knew. So learn it for real this time.

  7. SameBorder846 Avatar

    This is how others begin plotting on your wife. You’re creating an aura of desire that most men want and will go after. Telling stuff to a loudmouth means every man now has a view of your wife that creates mind boggling adventure. You’ve placed her in danger. The other guys want this so be aware. Never put your pleasures with your wife or SO out in the universe. Speak no more about your wife to him or any other person.

  8. Pure_One_3060 Avatar

    He told his wife because he feels he’s missing out and hoping she’d be encouraged to do similar? The better option would to tell you wife to mention to her friend how much stress your friend has been under lately, let them discuss it and maybe he’d be luckier.

  9. Lilith_Learned Avatar

    You were a jerk for talking about this to begin with. There are some things that shouldn’t be discussed with people outside of those directly involved. In the future have some couth about you and display some manners and boundaries.

  10. Superb-Dog-1622 Avatar

    Honestly it’s disgusting hearing a man share such private intimacy in the first place. You shouldn’t do that ever. You crossed the line by telling your friend. Your friend crossed the line by telling more. This is 100% your fault. You need to simply refrain from telling people in the future your intimate life. Also address with your friend that you understand now these types of things should remain private and you don’t appreciate your friend telling others something that you regarded as private. 

  11. Cornishchappy Avatar

    A secret shared is no longer a secret.

  12. OutsideInside6901 Avatar

    Tbh I only ever talk about stuff that happens “in the bedroom” if it’s funny…

    E.g. I was out with friends and I was having a shit night, my girlfriend was at home bored and I could tell she wanted me home, so I left.

    I didn’t tell my girlfriend I was on my way home and started messaging her. She said jokingly “I’ll give you a BJ if you’re home in half hour” (Thinking I wasn’t going to be able to finish my drink and get home that quickly). . . Little did she know I was 2 minutes away and I rang the doorbell. She opened the door to me stood there with my jeans and boxers around my ankles

  13. Future-Use-7534 Avatar

    WTF possesses a man to tell another man about bedroom experiences with his wife I’ll just never understand.

  14. BisratFoix Avatar

    keep certain things between you and her. Its a lesson learned

  15. kag1991 Avatar

    No big deal for you and your wife…

    if I were your wife I might even be happy enough you felt it was brag worthy BUUUUT I’d be grossed out you gave your friend a reason to think about me sexually.

    As for your friend – that pig was trying to make it a competition for who’s the better wife and encourage his wife to sign up for the playoffs. His wife mentioned it to Kelly because she knows that’s what was going on… he wants his own blow job now.

    In the future if you want to brag a little on what your wonderful tarty wife did to make you feel better, don’t tell your guy friends, keep it to anonymous bragging or give far fewer details.

  16. AdDependent7992 Avatar

    If things you tell people are supposed to be secret, you tell them that too. If those people can’t be trusted to listen to that, you don’t tell them the thing. Easy.

  17. troll2yooper Avatar

    You probably shouldn’t have shared with a friend you consider to have a big mouth. At least you learned this lesson in a pretty pain free situation. The more ya know!