So basically the title, I’ve been with my girlfriend for a year and some change we live together, happened early due to her family life, and I was a teenager last month, me and her both live at my moms while my dad sells his house and buys something to turn into a 2 apartment situation I’ve been working for him with a small landscape company but it doesn’t make enough money so I was also starting to try and build my own company. I fear that’s dead in the water. For the last 3 weeks my girlfriend has been in and out of bloodwork appointments, they said they checked for pregnancy but they never did, we did and turns out she’s a month in. She can’t go though with an abortion and I respect that. I’ve been having bad panic attacks ever since and she gave me the option to leave now, she’d go back to her dads and raise the kid without me or I could be involved that’s my choices. I’d not be able to look at myself in the mirror if I sent her and my unborn child away to never know me but im afraid I’m going to have to give up building a business and retry school to make this work now here I am pacing outside of a doctors office getting weird looks while aggressively typing, how the fuck did I get here ? I need to grow up in the next 8 months and idk if I can
I am about to be a father at 20 and I’m no where near prepared what the fuck do I do
r/Advice
Comments
Dude, you already started growing up the second you chose to stay instead of run
You don’t need to have it all figured out—just show up, learn fast, work hard, and love that kid like hell
You’ll be fine. Talk with her and with an attorney about child support, custody and visitation. You may wish to consider asking for a paternity test as a precaution.
Some hospitals and community centers offer parenting classes. Our local hospital has one called “Boot Camp for New Dads.” Look into this so you will know what to expect as her pregnancy progresses and how to help with child care.
You manned up and took responsibility, which says about you. You will make a great dad.
Why all the bloodwork and being at a doctor’s office now? Is she okay?
What advice are you looking for? She is having the baby and you’re not bailing.
At the risk of sounding like a smart ass, you got here by not using foolproof birth control.
I became a father much much later in my 30s and I’d still say that’s when I grew up. My only regret is not doing it sooner. I wish I’d have spent my 20s with the focus I had after being a dad. The little things just seem to fall away when you have another human to put first. As a bonus, you’ll still have some healthy “young” years ahead of you once your child is grown. I’ll be in my late 50s.
You’ll make it work. You’ll work harder to make ends meet. That’ll make you better at your job, and better at running your business. That’ll make you more successful.
I hope this helps.