my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 1.5 years. we are the same age, but he entered school early and is a year older than me. i have always noticed that he didn’t care about school, while i am the exact opposite. i am in extracurriculars and take AP/DC classes.
he recently graduated, and decided to go to our local community college. however, at the beginning of summer his pay got cut greatly at his job, to where he is not earning nearly as much as he should.
i have pushed him to find new jobs, but he stopped looking after he was rejecting due to not being 18 (he just turned 18) at one place. this has bothered me since he deserves better, and can easily earn much more money at really any other place. his classes are also messed up, but he will not find the time to call his college and get them fixed. class starts in less than 2 weeks.
i have urged him to find a new job, and also call about his classes but he just won’t find the time. there are other basic tasks that he has been needing to do at the beginning of the summer that he will just not complete. he oftentimes complains he is tired to me, after i have had a full day of class and practice- when he has been at home since he has graduated. i try to tell him i need to do my work and he complains he doesn’t get to see me. he oftentimes forgets things in my car, so i am almost home and have to drive back so he can get them. he forgets things other places as well.
i have tried to be understanding, but it has gotten to the point where it seems like he doesn’t want to get things done, and he expects me to feel the same way. it has always been a problem, and i have always had to beg him to get things done (most of the times he hasn’t listened to me). i am going graduate soon, and realize the amount of responsibility i have for my future. it is to the point where he is not in highschool anymore, and he should take on more responsibilities. he realizes the importance of his future as well, but is not initiating any work. i am not sure if i am just feeling anxious. is my boyfriend dragging me down?
TL;DR: my 18f boyfriend 18m is not initiating progress for his future, and i am having to beg him to get things done. are these things such as college classes and work a big deal- to the point where he is dragging me down?
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He not dragging you down you dragging you down let him focus on his job life and what he brings in and you focus on you now if yall live together that’s a different thing just see and visit him when you have time to focus on him and don’t support him money wise no offense but eventually you two will split because his drive and determination is unattractive to you. Good luck I hope he finds his motivation soon but don’t give up on him just focus on you and stop nagging him about getting better and because he deserve better heck every human alive who does good and not harming people or stealing from people deserve better
You know what you want out of life and he doesn’t. Maybe he’ll get there in time, but there’s no reason why you should be minimizing your goals to suit him. Prioritize yourself. You’re the only one in charge of your life.
My wife got me a coffee cup that says “If a man says he’ll fix something, he will. He doesn’t need a monthly reminder to do it.”
He’s probably overwhelmed and putting it off. But it could be anything.
He’s 18. Not exactly the age to be a career minded go-getter. If that’s all you want in a partner, look for older guys.
Yes he is. You have different priorities and life goals. You’re compromising yourself, he is not. Don’t compromise your life goals. Someone will come along that matches your energy.
You are not his manager or “mom” but a partner. In a healthy relationship, both people are pulling towards development, not one pulling the other
And yes, this is a “big deal” because his passivity is already affecting your pace of life