It was 87 degrees, mid-afternoon, when I walked up to a caregiver sitting on a sidewalk bench, scrolling through their phone, with their toddler sleeping in a parked car right in front of the bench, all windows up. The caregiver said it had been less than a minute since they left the child in the car and they intended to go back and check on them right when I walked up (though there was no indication of that when I walked up). They also mentioned that they had been driving with the AC on, so it was supposedly cool on the car. The caregiver implied that I was the A****** for questioning this. Am I?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
It was 87 degrees, mid-afternoon, when I walked up to a caregiver sitting on a sidewalk bench, scrolling through their phone, with their toddler sleeping in a parked car right in front of the bench, all windows up. The caregiver said it had been less than a minute since they left the child in the car and they intended to go back and check on them right when I walked up (though there was no indication of that when I walked up). They also mentioned that they had been driving with the AC on, so it was supposedly cool on the car. The caregiver implied that I was the A** for questioning this. Am I?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I asked the caregiver how long the child had been in the car and said that it was bad judgement and that a child should never be left in a parked car in the summer, not even for a minute. I also said that it wasn’t clear at that the caregiver was actually planning to check on the car because they were immersed in their phone when I walked up. So AITA for questioning this caregiver’s judgement and telling them to never do this again?
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA
In fact, what you described is straight-up illegal where I live, and just about anyone would be justified in breaking the window to free the child, then the driver is going to be arrested. If the child is unharmed, it’s treated as child abandonment, and gets much worse from there if the child suffers any injury.
NTA No caregiver has a legitimate excuse to leave a child in a parked car, period. It’s not safe and every few weeks you read about another toddler dying from hypothermia in the winter and and heat related death in the summer.
NTA. You’re literally showing more concern for the well-being of that child you don’t know than their caretaker.
NTA. It is a crime to leave a child in hot car.
NTA! Kids die every summer because someone plans to leave a kid in a car for a minute but end up getting distracted.
NTA. Kids die in hot cars. It’s never intentional on their carer’s parts but it does happen.
NTA. If she was sitting and waiting, she could’ve sat in her own car. If she didn’t want to waste gas running the engine to keep the air going, she could’ve taken the child out of the car and they could’ve sat on the bench together. This person sounds like someone who doesn’t deserve to care for a child
NTA. You caught that person red handed forgetting their kid in the car. They were probably defensive and embarassed and that is why they reacted so poorly.
HOWEVER, was the car a Tesla? They do have that doggy mode that keeps things air conditioned and cool for dogs/kids inside. I’ll assume it wasn’t though.
If it’s 87 outside it Can get to almost 100 in the car within twenty minutes.
Of course you’re NTA. “Careless Giver” was lucky you actually said something before you broke out a window to save the child.
I am going to say NAH, although OP is being an arse about it. The baby could have been abandoned in the car and unrelated to the lady on the bench so OP is not wrong for checking. However, the mother was sitting right next to the car and had the situation in hand so just move on with your day. OP actually has no reason to suspect she lied about just arriving or that she was going to check in a few minutes. OP is making up scenarios to fit their a “gotcha” narrative; the reality is there is no evidence she wasn’t going to check.
NTA as it’s absolutely in the best interest of the child to err on the side of caution. Children are lost every summer due to careless behavior that one kind stranger might have helped avoid in the right moment.
That said, there’s a difference in approaching with “hey, your situation appears unsafe, do you need help?” and “hey, I see you neglecting a child, stop being a terrible caregiver.” Kindness is powerful.
NTA for checking but she was right there and told you it had been a minute. She was right to call you an AH if you insisted that she was lying
NTA. I never think showing genuine concern for someone is ever an asshole move. Someone called my friend/manager an asshole a few years ago when she called the cops bc they left their dog in the car in the summer
You are defiantly NTA and next time just call emergency services. They have no sense of humor about stuff like this.
i usually try to give the caregiver the benefit of the doubt for a few minutes before i do a check in, since upon walking up, i have absolutely no context about the situation other than what i see in front of me and it seems like you could have waited a minute before stepping in
Illegal in. MD. Even for 10 seconds
Everyone should keep a spring loaded center punch in their car. I’ve had one for over30 years in the door pocket. You never know when you might need it for situations like this. Very inexpensive tool that might save a child’s life.
https://a.co/d/fH2G14j
NTA – sounds like you are more of a hero. If it was okay, why didn’t the caregiver sit in the car too? BECAUSE IT GETS TOO HOT, QUICKLY!
Don’t debate. Call the cops stat. No discussion, nothing.
5 Minutes are enough to kill a child. That idiot needs to learn a lesson.
NTA.