UPDATE: I (33f) Told My Boyfriend (33m) That I’m No Longer Interested In Marriage

Hello everyone!

Sorry for taking so long but a lot has happened and I ended up forgetting about this and focusing on other things. Then I saw a notification from a recent DM so I thought I’d give an update.

TL;DR: We broke up and live separately.

For more details please continue reading below.

Okay so things were a little tense over the next few days because we were either fighting or just not talking to each other. He even moved into the spare bedroom one day and he stopped giving me money for his share of the streaming services that we both use and I technically pay for. I even but to mute his mama and brother for a little bit. Then once Valentine’s Day was right around the corner he did a complete 180 and started speaking to me again and even apologized for his initial reaction and seemed really receptive to hearing my reasons.

He then he told me he planned a special day for us the weekend after Valentine’s Day which I was delighted to hear. On the day of I woke up to him gone but with breakfast laid out for me and a text message saying that there was work emergency and that he had to go in for a couple hours and told me to go meet him at the movie theater downtown by 3PM. I thought cool. I chilled for a bit then got ready and headed out. By 2:55PM I sent him a text message asking where he was and responded by saying he accidentally type the wrong time and that the movie wouldn’t start until 5PM, and he meant was that he wouldn’t be able to leave work until 3PM.

He’s had a case of fat fingers and butt dials before so I initially didn’t think much and just decided to go walking around by outlet close by to kill time. Then I got another text saying that he’d change our online ticket reservations because he was still stuck at the office and to just chill until 7PM. This time I grew suspicious but instead of calling or texting back with questions I just gave him a thumbs and sent a selfie of me at one of my favorite stores, then started to drive back home.

Normally getting back to our apartment from the downtown area where I was at around this time of day on a weekend can be a bit of a challenge but today traffic was decent. Then when I pull up to complex I see a moving truck. No big deal January/February is when a lot of people have moved out or in before so I understood.

Why did I see some of Carl’s friends near the truck?
Why did I see some of Carl’s friend moving the couch that I paid for into the truck?

I called the police and told them that I was actively being robbed. I stayed in the car for a while trying to calm myself down until I saw Carl helping a man load my bookshelf into the back of his pick up truck. I got out and confronted him.

This man was trying to keep me out of the apartment all day so he could quietly move out and take my furniture. And I say “my” furniture because I was the one who picked it all out and paid for most of everything and I readily shared the email confirmation order number(s)/receipts that I had archived when the police showed up. The man tried to take my bookshelf because apparently Carl had sold it to him, but that wasn’t my problem and that I’d press charges on everyone if my stuff wasn’t back in my place.

We got into a huge argument and the police tried to brush this off as a civil matter since Carl and I lived together but I went into the station the next day and spoke to a female officer who was of better help. My dining room set, spices, blender, groceries, lamps, TV, coffee table, and mattress were gone but Carl’s friends did put back the couch which was a pull out.

The middle man between my landlord and me did speak to Carl about wanting to take his name off the lease but did not follow the proper protocol and confirming with me that I would take on full responsibility of rent so I did file a complaint. I ended up leaving the complex and moving somewhere else and pressed charges against Carl and his friends if only to create a paper trail and help in my civil case against my ex.

In the end I was able to get some financial compensation for what I lost and he has until November to pay it all.

I wasn’t even sad that he didn’t want to be with me anymore just pissed off at how he tried to go about it. It is very clear that he wanted to “punish” me and I’m so glad that I never ended up marrying this man. I completed my certification, got a promotion and the pay raise that comes with it, and my dad has agreed to give me the money he was saving for my future wedding as a downpayment for house. After this entire experience I am now ten toes down in never getting married.

Also as a side note since Carl’s brother couldn’t provide consistent child care on his days the mother filed for full custody and now Carl’s brother pays child support.