Had family member performing in NYC so the fam (Ma, Pa, lil sis & big sis 2 with her two kids & my gf), made the trip. They got an AirBnB in jersey; I don’t like being in the same room as my (formerly? idk) abusive dad, so i got a small hotel room Manhattan, 30 mins from the venue for me & gf.
2 days before the show, my older sister (in VA) cancels her squads’ bus tickets and asks to ride up with me (in NC). No prob. Things are going fine at first, until sister says to GF, “so let me tell you what this asshat did…” and starts talking about a time I ‘endangered’ her kids in the backseat of a car with the windows rolled up. (It was nighttime, around 75 degrees; I could see them scrolling their phones). My niece(17) comes to my defense & says “it wasn’t hot, we were fine”. Sis emphasizes that her issue wasn’t the heat, but the risk of “police seeing her kids and trying to take them”. The conversation ended with sis saying ‘be more responsible’, and me saying “okay”. (my opinion was unchanged, but i didn’t think wasn’t worth the energy to dispute).
Glad I saved it cuz when we got to the hotel, Hell threw a tantrum. It starts with niece sharing that she gets bullied her for being short. Sis without missing a beat says, “Well in a few years, the guys are gonna love it; they’re gonna call you funsized”. Niece’s face drops, “That doesn’t have anything to do with them bullying me, though.” Boom. Shouting match. This room is small with 5 people & 1 bathroom. I jump in to say they both need to take it down. Sis turns her ire to me saying it’s not my place to tell her how to parent. My response was, “I don’t care; i don’t wanna hear all that.” Tantrum’s over. Hell’s loose.
She keeps trying to double down about how i don’t get to tell her how to act with her kids. I say i don’t care, you’re guest here. She’s says she doesn’t care about whose room it is. I say if you don’t care you can leave. She tries to spin it like i’m putting her and the kids out on the street. I calarify, the kids can finish getting ready and travel to the venue with me. She takes her kids; my oldest niece leaves begrudgingly, my youngest niece (11) texts me a minute or so later “can we come back, mom included.” That one hurt, but the answer was still no. My mom & little sister ended up picking them up and driving them to the venue. Little sister is angry at me for i guess “fucking up the family occasion.” Idk she didn’t tell me. We (lil sis) argued last week about something completely different so maybe i’m just coming across combative. Pretty whooped.
AITA?
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Had family member performing in NYC so the fam (Ma, Pa, lil sis & big sis 2 with her two kids & my gf), made the trip. They got an AirBnB in jersey; I don’t like being in the same room as my (formerly? idk) abusive dad, so i got a small hotel room Manhattan, 30 mins from the venue for me & gf.
2 days before the show, my older sister (in VA) cancels her squads’ bus tickets and asks to ride up with me (in NC). No prob. Things are going fine at first, until sister says to GF, “so let me tell you what this asshat did…” and starts talking about a time I ‘endangered’ her kids in the backseat of a car with the windows rolled up. (It was nighttime, around 75 degrees; I could see them scrolling their phones). My niece(17) comes to my defense & says “it wasn’t hot, we were fine”. Sis emphasizes that her issue wasn’t the heat, but the risk of “police seeing her kids and trying to take them”. The conversation ended with sis saying ‘be more responsible’, and me saying “okay”. (my opinion was unchanged, but i didn’t think wasn’t worth the energy to dispute).
Glad I saved it cuz when we got to the hotel, Hell threw a tantrum. It starts with niece sharing that she gets bullied her for being short. Sis without missing a beat says, “Well in a few years, the guys are gonna love it; they’re gonna call you funsized”. Niece’s face drops, “That doesn’t have anything to do with them bullying me, though.” Boom. Shouting match. This room is small with 5 people & 1 bathroom. I jump in to say they both need to take it down. Sis turns her ire to me saying it’s not my place to tell her how to parent. My response was, “I don’t care; i don’t wanna hear all that.” Tantrum’s over. Hell’s loose.
She keeps trying to double down about how i don’t get to tell her how to act with her kids. I say i don’t care, you’re guest here. She’s says she doesn’t care about whose room it is. I say if you don’t care you can leave. She tries to spin it like i’m putting her and the kids out on the street. I calarify, the kids can finish getting ready and travel to the venue with me. She takes her kids; my oldest niece leaves begrudgingly, my youngest niece (11) texts me a minute or so later “can we come back, mom included.” That one hurt, but the answer was still no. My mom & little sister ended up picking them up and driving them to the venue. Little sister is angry at me for i guess “fucking up the family occasion.” Idk she didn’t tell me. We (lil sis) argued last week about something completely different so maybe i’m just coming across combative. Pretty whooped.
AITA?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Maybe telling her to leave was an overreaction on my part, but i’m so sick of her using motherhood as free pass to be an asshole.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
I don’t understand the whole start of this story, why would the police take the kids if they saw them?
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Your sister is unhinged.
should of let the kids come back and let the sister yell and cry. entitled people. let her go cry to mommy, shouldnt have kids if all they’re gonna do is argue with em.
I feel like there is missing information. Why would she be worried about the kids being taken by police? What was the full incident that she was complaining about in the car? Did you offer to let her stay at your hotel room?
YTA for subjecting your girlfriend to your sister at all. If you want to see your nieces, visit them without your sister or not at all.
I have no idea what this story is about, it makes no sense whatsoever. OP, come back and explain yourself!
INFO: Please elaborate on the car thing. We’re you supposed to be babysitting and left them in the car? Also were they supposed to all sleep in the hotel with you? Or stay in NJ?
There are lot of extra details here that have to do with sister. What it seems to boil down to was that sister and her kids stayed in your hotel room and sister wasn’t very nice–so you told her to leave.
It seems like you have more than one abusive family member.
You’re NTA. If sister wants to stay with you, she might choose to behave.
ESH because nobody is trying to help the niece that is getting bullied.
contest mode?