I understand that this post may be childish, but please help me figure out if I am TA. I genuinely don’t want to be a mean person to my sisters.
So I (19F), was upset the other day at my sister (also 19F, let’s call her Stephanie) for wearing my new dress that she bought for me.
For context, Stephanie & I split buying the dress a few months ago, I thought it was beautiful but didn’t have enough $$. She said it could be ours because she liked it too & laughed but I thought she was just kidding (she often jokes in this way).
I’ve been saving this dress for a really special event or even a date because I love it so much. The other day, my uncle & brother in law came over. Stephanie took the dress after I asked her not to (it is a sexy butter yellow lace dress with flowers) & wore it in front of our family. I asked her to take it off again bcs I wanted to wear it somewhere special & I didn’t want her to just be lounging around the house in it.
Stephanie said that she told me it would be OURS. She argued that I’ve posted pictures on instagram in our other sister’s clothes without her permission (this is true, and she did it back to me once), so I should leave her alone.
Honestly, I let my sisters wear my clothes all the time, I cook for them everyday, I let them wear my makeup, my shoes, etc. & it doesn’t bother me because we’re sisters & it’s what good sisters do.
Was this selfish or ungrateful of me (bcs she helped me buy it)? Was I having double standards (I posted in our other sister’s plain shirt & dress without her permission & am angry at Stephanie for wearing my dress without my permission)? I feel bad & want to know if I’m wrong.
Please be honest with me.
EDIT: Now that I’ve seen some of your guys’ opinions, I understand where I was wrong. She helped me buy the dress so she should be able to wear it too! My misunderstanding definitely messed up the situation.
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I understand that this post may be childish, but please help me figure out if I am TA. I genuinely don’t want to be a mean person to my sisters.
So I (20F), was upset the other day at my sister (also 20F, let’s call her Stephanie) for wearing my new dress that she bought for me.
For context, Stephanie & I split buying the dress a few months ago, I thought it was beautiful but didn’t have enough $$. She said it could be ours because she liked it too & laughed but I thought she was just kidding.
I’ve been saving this dress for a really special event or even a date because I love it so much. The other day, my uncle & brother in law came over. Stephanie took the dress after I asked her not to (it is a sexy butter yellow lace dress with flowers) & wore it in front of our family. I asked her to take it off again bcs I wanted to wear it somewhere special & I didn’t want her to just be lounging around the house in it.
Stephanie said that she told me it would be OURS. She argued that I’ve posted pictures on instagram in our other sister’s clothes without her permission (this is true, and she did it back to me once), so I should leave her alone.
Honestly, I let my sisters wear my clothes all the time, I cook for them everyday, I let them wear my makeup, my shoes, etc. & it doesn’t bother me because we’re sisters & it’s what good sisters do.
Was this selfish or ungrateful of me (bcs she helped me buy it)? Was I having double standards (I posted in our other sister’s plain shirt & dress without her permission & am angry at Stephanie for wearing my dress without my permission)? I feel bad & want to know if I’m wrong.
Please be honest with me.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I am honestly not sure if I’m the asshole. I asked my sister to take off the dress she helped me buy, which I feel bad about because she didn’t have to help me, she chose to out of the kindness of her heart
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
How would you feel if she told you that you couldn’t wear the dress when you wanted? I think that’s your answer.
If you purchased it together to share, then you don’t have final say so in who can wear it and when.
NAH. She wasn’t kidding. She paid for half and said (and believed) that it was to be shared.
That was not your understanding, but it should be, now that you realize she was not joking.
YTA.
“Stephanie & I split buying the dress a few months ago”
“She said it could be ours because she liked it too”
She did exactly what she said, which was give you half of the money to share the dress. Just because you laughed and thought she was joking doesn’t change the fact that she paid for half of it under the agreement that you would share it.
I think your communication probably needs some work by which I mean asking for clarification when the topic is something important to you. It seems that what you assumed to be a joke your sister was serious about. She has a point in that because she paid into the dress she should have co-ownership rights, and she stated that intention at the time. I suggest that you try to negotiate a buy-out of her share if co-ownership doesn’t work for you. An alternative might be to negotiate an agreement about the environment or events for which either of you will wear the dress,
Why would someone not be serious about sharing something that you both paid for?
YTA seriously??
YTA. You heard what you wanted to hear, but what she actually said was what she actually meant.
Whoever can come up with the other half of the money keeps the dress.