hi all. i work in the medical industry where care for all patients is extremely crucial.
as i’m new to this particular job I have been appointed a mentor to assist me until I reach the consolidation phase, where i’ll be on my own.
today, we were running scenarios to test my skills and knowledge when i noticed parts of the scenario seemed to connect: it was for one of our current patients who is a gay male who had itching on his bottom. this already made me feel a bit ick, as it was completely unnecessary to note that he was gay. in addition, whilst i was triaging the scenario, my mentor joked with another workplace trainer that this patient is “just a bloody poof” and “him and his boyfriend are pooftas”
as a queer person myself, it made me very angry to hear someone who is meant to train others speak this way about people we care for.
normally if someone has an issue with a mentor, we are advised to bring it up with them directly. however, in all honesty, this isnt the first time this mentor has made unsavoury and uncomfortable comments. i am uncomfortable in bringing this up to her.
wibta if i go over her head to my trainer to report her behaviour?
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hi all. i work in the medical industry where care for all patients is extremely crucial.
as i’m new to this particular job I have been appointed a mentor to assist me until I reach the consolidation phase, where i’ll be on my own.
today, we were running scenarios to test my skills and knowledge when i noticed parts of the scenario seemed to connect: it was for one of our current patients who is a gay male who had itching on his bottom. this already made me feel a bit ick, as it was completely unnecessary to note that he was gay. in addition, whilst i was triaging the scenario, my mentor joked with another workplace trainer that this patient is “just a bloody poof” and “him and his boyfriend are pooftas”
as a queer person myself, it made me very angry to hear someone who is meant to train others speak this way about people we care for.
normally if someone has an issue with a mentor, we are advised to bring it up with them directly. however, in all honesty, this isnt the first time this mentor has made unsavoury and uncomfortable comments. i am uncomfortable in bringing this up to her.
wibta if i go over her head to my trainer to report her behaviour?
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> I feel I might be the asshole for going over her head and potentially getting her in bigger trouble with HR instead of directly discussing my issues with her
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Nta! Please report this!
Nta noone, especially people with authority, should be talking about anyone like that and definitely not in the workplace
You arent ratting her out, you are upholding standard of care and treatment in your hospital. Send the report
NTA. Bringing problems up with your mentor is for personal conflicts, like not liking a nickname they use for you, or wanting more detailed feedback on your work. This is a patient care issue, and should be reported.
NTA. This is an issue that will affect patient care, so do report her.
NTA. People who are in jobs where they care for the general public shouldn’t be joking about things like that. If they’re talking around a new person like they did with you, who knows what they “joke” about with people they know well. I would report them immediately. A person like that needs doesn’t belong in health care and needs a reality check.
NTA. Report anonymously if you can. I once reported a coworker for using racial slurs at work (a white woman using the hard R n word) and a few months later they fired me over a small mistake, while she got to continue working with a slap on the wrist. It’s just best to do it anonymously if you can and remember that HR is there to protect the company, not you
Queer person here. Please report her.
Due to a number of health issues including cancer, I have a LOT of interaction with my country’s healthcare system.
I’m not so naive as to believe every single healthcare provider I ever meet is totally non-homophobic, any more than I believe they are non-sexist, non-racist, or non- any other form of bigotry. You cannot police people’s thoughts.
But what I expect is that even if they are secret bigots, they will keep their bigotry to themselves. I expect them to treat all patients with respect and provide exactly the same standard of care to all of us.
Your mentor is comfortable using homophobic slurs and making homophobic “jokes”. She clearly views LGBTQ+ people as unworthy of respect, and fair game for mockery.
I do not want her treating me, and she is not fit to be mentoring anybody. She could use some mentoring herself.
NTA.
Honestly hun, you’d only be TA if you DIDN’T report her, though I don’t at all blame you for being uncomfortable doing it. It’s never fun having to report a coworker, but if this individuals continues to train others and/or treat patients the amount of harm they could do unchecked is just too damn high. Sending you a hugs and strength, and I’m sorry you have to deal with the bullshit. You deserve better!
NTA. Report their ass.
NTA
When it comes to bringing up issues directly to them. Usually, the issues are about the training.
Those comments and the comfortable use of slurs are enough to warrant caution and to speak to someone above her.
I feel you may have a duty of care to the potential queer patients who may get incorrect care due to her prejudice.
NTA and yes, do report her. You make yourself vulnerable if you bring it up directly, plus it wouldn’t change a thing. This is a severe problem because queer people are discriminated against in healthcare anyway. She needs to feel consequences, and they need to come from her superiors.
YWBTA if you didn’t report her. Her patients deserve thoughtful, unbiased care. Her comment implies disregard and disdain for LBTQIA+ patients.
NTA. Make sure to state in your report that you didn’t feel comfortable to raise this with her because it speaks volumes.
You WNBTA if you report them, but depending on where you live, please be careful doing so. The world is becoming increasingly more hostile for people of the LGBTQ+ community. If you feel you would be safe reporting them to the higher ups, absolutely do so, but if you don’t feel that you would be safe, you may be better off quietly trying to find a new job (and maybe even warning that particular patient before you leave, if it’s something you can safely do).
Those comments are terribly homophobic. NTA if you report them.
I would absolutely go over her head and report her. If the supervisor doesn’t deal with her hemophilia, it’s not a place you want to work anyway.
It is actually relevant to know if a patient engages in anal sex.
However. What your mentor said was disgusting and you 100% should report them.