Before my marriage, I (29f) lived in a different state that my sister-in-law (27f). We had video chatted and became close. I’ve never met anyone who was so happy to be a stay-at-home mom. She’s the happiest and most positive person I’ve ever met.
When I moved to my husband’s (31m) home city, I got to see my SIL in person. She had terrible BO. Like really strong BO. I told her and she smiled and hugged me. She thanked me for telling her. Then she stop smelling after that.
But my brother-in-law (28m) told me his perfect was wife the way she was and that I meddled into their marriage. Am I the asshole ?
Comments
^^^^AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! READ THIS COMMENT – DO NOT SKIM. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything.
Before my marriage, I (29f) lived in a different state that my sister-in-law (27f). We had video chatted and became close. I’ve never met anyone who was so happy to be a stay-at-home mom. She’s the happiest and most positive person I’ve ever met.
When I moved to my husband’s (31m) home city, I got to see my SIL in person. She had terrible BO. Like really strong BO. I told her and she smiled and hugged me. She thanked me for telling her. Then she stop smelling after that.
But my brother-in-law (28m) told me his perfect was wife the way she was and that I meddled into their marriage. Am I the asshole ?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took that should be judged is telling my sister-in-law she has terrible body odor.
Why the action might make me the asshole is because my brother-in-law told me I meddled in their marriage. He’s really upset with me.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA if she is happy.
Personally id say NTA
I mean id rather have someone tell me i stink, rather than walk around like that everyday
The weirdest thing to me is the husband just accepting her like that? how can u walk around someone with terrible BO every single day.
If SHE wasn’t personally offended, and you were telling her in a nice way then NTA- you were looking out for a friend, I’d do the same for one of mine
NTA.
BIL is probably mad that his wife confronted him for not telling her she smelled. You are not responsible for him not telling his wife the truth.
Definitely NTA, you actually did her a favor by being honest with herr
NTA
How is HER body odour ‘their’ marriage?
If she’s happy, with HER body, that’s good.
Now, going on a limb here, many people believe the presence of chemicals in deodorant is a turn-off when it comes to sexy-time, but that can be dealt with AT sexy-time.
Question, did the husband also smell?
So, is that his thing? I want to know more.
Wait, does he try to keep her isolated? Is he trying to use BO as a wall between her and the outside world? Maybe he really wants her just at the house.
We’ll never know. You’re NTA though.
You were kind and honest, and she even thanked you. That’s not being an asshole, that’s being a good friend. NTA
NTA. Sounds like you did her a favor.
Some people like roses but some assholes like to live like pigs
Sounds like she took it well. Hopefully, you will react with the same grace when somebody deliberately points out one of your flaws (which will happen).
NTA. She’s obviously thankful you said something.