So I agreed to babysit for a mom I know (friend-of-a-friend situation). She said she’d be back around 8 PM. It’s now 11pm and… nothing. No calls, no texts, no heads-up. I’ve tried calling her a few times, but her phone goes straight to voicemail.
I don’t know her super well, and I only have the number she gave me. I have the kid here, they’re fine — fed, safe, calm — but I’m starting to get nervous because:
- I’m not sure where she went or how to reach her.
- It’s getting late.
- I don’t know what the “protocol” is for this kind of thing.
Do I keep waiting? Contact the police? Try to find a family member (though I don’t have any contact info)?
Has anyone else been in this situation before? What did you do? I’m torn between not wanting to overreact and worrying something might actually be wrong.
Comments
I think after 4-5 hours without an update, it’s fair to start making calls.
This isn’t normal behavior, either something’s seriously wrong, or she’s being incredibly irresponsible. Either way, you’re doing the right thing by stepping up. Keep us updated! 💛
She gave you no alternate contact information to reach her while gone? Text her “EMERGENCY” and if you don’t get a response in 5 min, call the police.
Man, that’s a tough one. Don’t sweat tho. Give her a bit more time, some peeps are mad unreliable. If you’re really trippin, maybe flag it with the local PD. Cuz tbh, she’s got a responsibility to her kiddo 1st, and to you as well, dude. No ones got time for ghosting, especially when a child’s involved. Stay chill, but firm, my dude. You got this.
Honestly in my experience babysitting this always happened. They get carried away on their night out. The woman I babysat for always said she’d be back by 12 at the latest. (I’d get there at six) and sometimes she came back as late as 4am. I’d fallen asleep on the couch by then lol but yeah this probably won’t be the first time
I’d be pretty tempted to call police just to get it on their radar. It makes you wonder what else is going on in the family. Also, be prepared that if she returns and is under the influence you cannot give her the kid. I mean obviously, but it can be tough to stand your ground in the moment if you haven’t thought it through ahead of time. Don’t hesitate to call police if she gives you trouble once she gets there.
She’ll be back. She’s likely enjoying her free time a bit too much, and a few drinks make folks thoughtless and selfish. Just put the kid to sleep on a couch or somewhere, and she’ll show up apologizing eventually. Then check how drunk she is, if she’s safe to get the kid home, and remember not to babysit for her ever again.
You could try asking the friend you have in common for other ways to contact the mom. But if the situation doesn’t change soon, do call the authorities.
Did you contact the mutual friend? Do you know where she went — work? Study? I would try to find her work place phone. Depending on where she went, getting this late can be something expected (eg over time in a bar) or not normal at all (working in a office); if it was expected, she was irresponsible for not telling you that. I would wait. How old the kids — do they have any idea what time usually she comes back? You are doing great for the kids, thanks!
Wonder why a friend of a friend is looking after her kids, is it because she does this sort of thing a lot and has burned bridges? Call the police if you think there is an emergency, 3 hours is a long time without even an update
I’ll be curious to hear what happened…
“Hi Suzy I haven’t heard from you and it has been X hours since your designated return time. I cannot stay here overnight and will be placing in a welfare call with the police to ensure you are okay and that the children can be with someone safe when I need to leave. I hope you are okay”
How old is this kid? Do they have a phone or device? Would they know how to call a grandparent? Can you see if the next door neighbours have any info? Is there a wall calendar or paper on the fridge that might have another contact or number on it?
The phone to voicemail and no contact is concerning. I would be worried too. Can you contact the mutual friend to see if there’s anyone else you could maybe contact. If not then maybe police?
I hope this works out. Update me.
Don’t call the police. She’s probably out having a good time and had too much to drink. If it were me, I would just stay with the kids and wait for her to come home. If it is the worst case scenario, when something happened, I would start making calls in the morning.
any updates?
I’d text something like “I’m calling police if I haven’t heard from you by midnight (or 11:30 or whatever) because I’m worried I haven’t heard from you.” Then do it.
Bot action..I’ve seen this thread before..
I’m not understanding if this was posted 30 minutes ago, and NY time is 8 AM, and OP says it’s now 11 PM; something isn’t adding up.
I did day care and had a parent pull that.. I left her message on her cell that at 8 am I would call the police .. the police came and Social services got involved. She later told me she is glad I did, it helped her get her act together.
Are you at her place?
Make sure you increase your rate for all the time after 8.
Totally agree with sending a text and voicemail about lateness and that you will follow up with police. Also try to contact the mutual friend for other contact details if their family.
Hopefully, they’re just out having too much fun. If that’s the case, they may be too embarrassed to do this to someone else in the future
If they’re not out having too much fun and something has actually happened, having people looking for them may be the best thing for their safety and for the child you’re watching
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