So me (25f) and my roommate (29f) been living together for about a year now. At first it was fine but like the past couple months she been on this whole “screen detox” thing. Which whatever if she dont wanna use her phone thats her business. Problem is she keeps unplugging the wifi router in the living room. She says its bad to have internet all the time and she sleeps better without it on.
Shes kinda a hippie so this is less like a mental health crisis and more like crystal energy logic. She has sage bundles everywhere. Which fine whatever i can live with but this wifi thing is making me crazy.
The thing is I work from home and I actually NEED internet for my job. I told her a bunch of times she cant just shut it off cause I might be on calls or uploading stuff. She says I can just hotspot from my phone but my phone plan is garbage and also why should I pay more when we both pay for the wifi.
Last week I had enough cause she unplugged it again in the middle of a meeting since she went for a nap. So I waited till she went to work and moved the router into my room and installed a lock. She came home and freaked out saying I was being controlling and selfish and that I am “forcing her” to have internet now. I told her she can just not use it if she wants to detox. She said its not the same cause the “energy” is still in the house and now she feels trapped.
As a comprimise I even offered to buy her this thingy she could hang and blcok the wifi in her room with but she refused cause “its not the same” Honestly I agree its not the same but both situations sound nuts to me at this point.
I cant just move out cause we signed a lease together and she says shes not leaving so Im stuck here for months.
So now shes barely talking to me and telling our mutual friends I am toxic and dont respect her lifestyle. I think shes being ridiculous but maybe I went too far.
AITA
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So me (25f) and my roommate (29f) been living together for about a year now. At first it was fine but like the past couple months she been on this whole “screen detox” thing. Which whatever if she dont wanna use her phone thats her business. Problem is she keeps unplugging the wifi router in the living room. She says its bad to have internet all the time and she sleeps better without it on.
Shes kinda a hippie so this is less like a mental health crisis and more like crystal energy logic. She has sage bundles everywhere. Which fine whatever i can live with but this wifi thing is making me crazy.
The thing is I work from home and I actually NEED internet for my job. I told her a bunch of times she cant just shut it off cause I might be on calls or uploading stuff. She says I can just hotspot from my phone but my phone plan is garbage and also why should I pay more when we both pay for the wifi.
Last week I had enough cause she unplugged it again in the middle of a meeting since she went for a nap. So I waited till she went to work and moved the router into my room and installed a lock. She came home and freaked out saying I was being controlling and selfish and that I am “forcing her” to have internet now. I told her she can just not use it if she wants to detox. She said its not the same cause the “energy” is still in the house and now she feels trapped.
As a comprimise I even offered to buy her this thingy she could hang and blcok the wifi in her room with but she refused cause “its not the same” Honestly I agree its not the same but both situations sound nuts to me at this point.
I cant just move out cause we signed a lease together and she says shes not leaving so Im stuck here for months.
So now shes barely talking to me and telling our mutual friends I am toxic and dont respect her lifestyle. I think shes being ridiculous but maybe I went too far.
AITA
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Put a ring of salt around it.
NTA but honestly one of you needs to move
NTA.
That said, I would explore other options for roommates.
NTA., why on earth are you living with her?
NTA. Holy fuck. Like, she’s not making any fucking sense. Does she think the moon is made of cheese as well?
NTA sounds like she was projecting what she was doing to you. How’re you going to pay rent and bills if this AH gets you fired for not having consistent internet for a remote job.
NTA you pay your share of the wifi, you should get to use it as needed, especially since you’re working from home. Get her a tinfoil hat to sleep in.
NTA. You need a different roommate.
NTA
Wow. Just wow. That’s all I’ve got to say on this.
Im sorry, but your roommate appears to be brainless
Nta
Is there anyway you can contact the landlord/property manager to see if there is away out of the lease do to hostile roommate?
>She came home and freaked out saying I was being controlling and selfish and that I am “forcing her” to have internet now.
There is definitely someone in this story being controlling and forcing, but it isn’t you. She’s endangering your job because she lacks the self-control to just not use the wi-fi. NTA.
If you’re both paying for the wifi/broandband then neither of you really have the right to have sole control over it. It’s a little over the top but I think the only real way round here is for you to both have your own wifi. That way you can have total control over yours and she can have total control over hers.
I’ll say NAH. You both need to reach a compromise or do your own thing
NTA – Sounds like your roommate is nuttier than squirrel shit. Tell her that there’s “internet signal” all around her all the time. If your phone has signal, there’s radio waves. Hell GPS sends radio waves just about everywhere, so does satellite anything. So unless she moves underground or turns her room into a Faraday Cage, there’s radio waves.
NTA – but what you should do is get your own router and create a hidden (undiscoverable) network and tell her she’s right and it’s not healthy to sleep with it on and just use the hidden network. I guarantee she won’t notice.
NTA. It’s not your job to accommodate her mental health struggles.
INFO : Do you live in an apartment?
Does she want to disconnect all the wifi from the other side of the walls?
NTA
– She can’t impose to NOT have wifi.
– You need wifi for your work.
Tell her that you’re ok to disconnect wifi if she is willing to pay for your salary as you won’t be able to do your job without it…
NTA Is there any possible way you can read the lease agreement again? There might be a clause where you can terminate early so you can move out.
NTA. You said it herself: she can make her own decisions about her own screen consumption, but she can’t make that decision for you. Period.
Living with other humans requires compromise. In this case, you have an actual need (Internet for work) and you pay your share of it. That trumps her feelings, however sincerely-held they might be. If she feels trapped by it, she can move out (within the terms of her lease, i.e. if she moves out she’s still on the hook to pay rent until a replacement can be found).
I mean, I guess you could offer to let her control the internet if she’s willing to pay your share of the rent because you can’t do your job and have to quit. 🙂
Alternatively, remind her that the internet is running through everyone’s cell phones all around her all the time. If she wants to escape it she might need to join a distant hermitage.
That “energy” she is talking about is literally everywhere, all the time, constantly. If she wants an internet break then she needs to go camping in the middle of nowhere (and even then you can not escape it unless you have the ability to leave the planet).
You pay for the internet too, if she doesnt like it, she may want to look into living on her own.
You pay so you have a say.
Everyone seems to want you to respect her life style, but no one has to respect yours right? If they feel that way, they can live with her.
You both pay for it. If she wants to live like it’s 1823, she can stop contributing to the bill and go read by candlelight.
Is she related to Chuck McGill or something?
Next thing all the electrical appliances will need to be switched off!
FFs -NTA
NTA
Info: do you live in an apt complex or a house? If an apt complex, everyone else’s Internet is also “getting her” lol
If you can’t break your lease, I would suggest you have two separate Internet accounts and two separate modems?
Or have yours be the main one, and have one in the living room that is a “guest” one that she can control/ turn off as needed.
You can’t fight crazy but maybe you can outsmart her.
NTA
Hippies are the ultimate in fake chill. Everything’s all good and peaceful…until you disagree with them. It’s not your problem if she has 0 impulse control and/or is not terrible bright. I just…I can’t stand like 98% of hippies.
Also, how is hotspotting any different in any way, shape, or form to just having the wifi on? It’s literally the same radio waves, just from a different device. Sounds like this is more about control than anything.
NTA
By turning off the WiFi she could lose you your job.
NTA, you two probably split the bill or at least the rent and utilities are even. She has no right to take that away. Plus you work from home so you actually need this. Your “mutual” friends are not your friends btw if they are believing her. Anyone would press her on more information and then laugh at her when she says what’s she’s been doing.
Side notes, if you live in apartments, WiFi is everywhere. Even in a house I bet you can connect to your neighbors internet. So that means it’s in the house.
NTA You’re being controlling and selfish!?!? Your roommate is a real hoot. She unplugs the router for the wifi without warning while you’re working from home so she can detox from screens and you’re selfish when you move it in your room?! Bless her heart right down to her little cotton socks. Buy her some crystals and a book about healing chakras and wish her happy trails on her screen detox but the Wi-Fi is staying on.
NTA
She’s actively interfering with your ability to do your job. If she wants to live without Wi-Fi, she needs to move. If she’s not willing to move, she needs to cope.
For the sake of surviving the remainder of your lease, you might offer to turn it off during specific hours at night. But that’s as far as I would compromise with her bizarre beliefs.
(I have sensory processing issues. I’m one of those people who can hear electronics hum, see flickering in frequencies of light that don’t bother other people, etc. I’ve never noticed an issue with my Wi-Fi. There might be people out there who can? But I don’t know anyone who thinks it’s okay to randomly turn off a utility that other people are using.
Good luck!
So, you offer to setup a special password for this special little granola bar. You will change it every day at X time and until they ask you for it, they don’t have access to the internet, but you for work, need access 24/7 which is why you will control it.
Or better yet, cancel the service, then put one in your name only and have the company run a cable right into your room and your own server to your own room. She can run her own and turn it off when ever.
NTA. she sounds literally insane. “energy in the air”? I would move out before she goes all Kohburger on you in your sleep. Im not even kidding, this is the kind of crazy person that eventually kills someone else.
She needs a slapping down.
NTA your roommate doesn’t understand that you need the internet to work. It’s like taking the plants away from a gardener.
NTA. So your roommate can’t take personal responsibility for her screen use, so she’s trying to control you? Please. She needs to grow up, or get her head out of her ass, or both.
NTA. Take over the wifi payment, don’t let her use it, and give her a dreamcatcher. Call it a day.
Set up her own network, like setting up a guest network. Change the password and give it to her so she controls her own access. Then she doesn’t have the internet all the time. Make your network undiscoverable, with its own, 3rd password you don’t give her.
I dont know if this was your friend or not before moving in together but as someone who lived with friends in their early 20s I find my lesson I learned is that it can sometimes be a mistake as you learn all the quirks you dont like that other people do. NTA, she needs therapy more than screen detoxing though.
> this is less like a mental health crisis
This is more like a mental health crisis.
NTA
NTA. Can’t they just use airplane mode? 😅 They’re being self-centred
I mean – it’s true. You don’t respect her lifestyle.
Thing is, all lifestyles don’t reserve respect.
She can detox all she wants – but she can’t interrupt your work because she’s worried about evil spirits invading her dreams via the wifi.
NTA.
NTA, however here’s some tips, from someone who works in IT for the NHS.
If you check your phone, and see if it picks up WiFi signals from any other homes nearby (which it will), you can tell her that you’ve looked into it, and the energy is coming into your home anyway. And that the thingy you offered to buy her (I haven’t looked at it but I’m assuming it’s classified as a WiFi blocker and is likely something like the 5G blockers that were going around a few years ago – a thumb drive with a light on it), or a crystal (Google which ones) are best for blocking signals. Or maybe buy her a couple of rolls of tin foil, so she could line her room at night? Tin foil can bounce radiation in a microwave, which is why it shouldn’t be put in there, why would that not work for the WiFi!
Now. I don’t believe any of the above for a second, but I’ve met people who do, and unfortunately none of your facts will work against their beliefs, especially as it sounds like she does not WANT to listen. So, to work with these people, sometimes you need to talk to them on their level.
Otherwise, you could talk to your landlord maybe about the living situation?
Or do you have any mutual friends that she’s more likely to listen to?
Obviously you need to start thinking about your next living situation, and potentially other places to work from (local library? Office? Rented office space? Cafe?) if working from home becomes unbearable. Get some back up plans ready and in place before you need them.
Good luck!
she’s got issues. NTA
NTA.
She can choose to “detox” all she wants, but that shouldn’t mean you’re forced to as well, especially if you need it for work.
NTA. Tell them you have as much respect for her ‘lifestyle’ as she does for your job that requires internet access.
Nta and its hilarious that they make fabric that blocks wifi. Tell your roommate it sucks to suck