So my girlfriend’s birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I want to get her something really nice as a surprise. The problem is we’ve been living together for 2 years and have everything linked to our shared checking account like all our cards, online shopping, everything goes through the same account that we both monitor pretty regularly.
I found the perfect gift for her (it’s this necklace she mentioned months ago that she thought was beautiful but too expensive) but I have no idea how to buy it without her seeing the charge immediately. She checks our account like every other day to keep track of our budget. I thought about asking my brother to buy it and paying him back but idk if I should do it or not. I could try to time it right after a big expense like rent when there’s a lot of activity, but her attention to detail is insane like she would notice it right away. We don’t really keep separate money anymore since we combined everything when we moved in together. I know some couples keep separate ‘fun money’ accounts but we never set that up. Any ideas for how to pull this off? Thanks!
How do I secretly buy my girlfriend a surprise gift when we share all our bank accounts?
r/Advice
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cash
Buy a Visa gift card and use that to buy it?
Maybe get groceries and take a 20 out here or there? Not sure how closely you monitor it but I personally wouldn’t notice if the grocery bill has a 20$ difference. If not, maybe family? Have them buy it and once you’ve given the gift be like “okay I need to send them money back for the gift. No peeking at the bank account for a few days”
Def recommend separate fun money accounts for this exact reason though.
Best way is to have your brother purchase it and then pay him back after she’s received the gift. If your brother has the income for that then your gf would be none the wiser
Cash back; there are stores that offer cash back – with a purchase of an item. A store, like a wallmart?
Cash or have someone buy it and pay them back..
You dont. Why would you go behind her back and against her wishes to buy her a gift she already passed on?
Credit card and then pay the bill after you give it to her?
Ask for cash back whenever you make a purchase. Just a little bit here and there. When the big payments come up, see if you can slip out a larger withdrawal at an ATM.
How have you handled it for previous gifts over the two years?
Your idea to ask your brother is smart, but honestly this should be a little lesson. I don’t think it’s smart to combine 100% of your money with someone, even if you trust them 100%. You never know what’s going to happen, but it’s always good to have some of your own money.
Slowly draw out $20-$50 when you go shopping or fuel up your car a week. Ask for cash out.
say a parent or friend needed to borrow money for something but asked for it in cash, withdraw the money and there you go.
ask a friend to order it through their account if shopping online, pay cash if shopping irl
Take cash out at atm
Tell her you are buying her something and the amount is going to show up but “please don’t look until after your birthday”.
Why would you share bank accounts with a girlfriend? That’s something you should only do if you’re married.
Apply for a store card where you buy the gift
My husband and I have combined accounts and I tend to monitor like your girlfriend. He would just let me know that he’s taking $x from the account, so it doesn’t mess up any payments I have scheduled. If I’d ask why, he’d either say he can’t tell me (I know when my birthday is, so I’d know to drop it) or he’d lie about spending it on himself.
Open at a separate bank, a new savings acct and have an amt per paycheck paid directly to it.
You should not share a bank account with someone unless you’re married. IMO. I’d open a new account that’s just yours for things like this.
You say you share everything….. but like.. don’t you have your OWN account still?
Makes me so sad when people only have a shared account in a relationship and nothing in personal accounts. How can this possibly seem like a good idea to anyone everrrr? 😩 Sorry dude. Enjoy your own personal hell for as long as it lasts 👍
Do not borrow money from a 3rd party.
She may get mad at you.
She also probably doesn’t want you to spend that kind of money.
Think carefully.