I (F 27) think I was cheated on early in my10 years old relationship with M 32, how can I know if he is lying or not?

r/

I have no one to talk to and I feel like I’m going to throw up.

I was tidying the house when I found a small pocket notebook. I looked inside and found my boyfriend’s “sex list.” That would have been fine had it not included entries dating three years into our 10-year relationship.

He’s at work, so I sent him a message. He told me he made it up because he has always been ashamed of his low sex count and wanted to make it look higher.

I don’t know what to do. I want to believe him, but I’m not sure I can. Why would anyone do it? To impress who?

I asked him if I should get checked, and he told me I was being hysterical.

Now I’m just waiting for him to come home from work. I don’t even really want to talk to him face-to-face.

I can’t waste 10 years of my life just like this.

Comments

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  2. offbrandbarbie Avatar

    Im sorry but that’s certainly a lie. He expects you to believe he’s been running around town showing his buddy’s his notebook sex list? And then added fake names for razzle dazzle?

    You have these girls names. Ask them if they had sex.

  3. Posterbomber Avatar

    Can you better describe the “list” for us? Are there names, dates, different colored ink?

  4. GreatResetBet Avatar

    Is he still in contact with any of these women?

  5. MckittenMan Avatar

    >He’s at work, so I sent him a message. He told me he made it up because he has always been ashamed of his low sex count and wanted to make it look higher.

    You found a sex diary… And he made fake entries just to boost his own confidence?

    Mmmm, some excuse that sounds like.

    Story doesn’t check out to me. Sounds like a made up excuse that he would hope you buy.

  6. Shelby_the_Turd Avatar

    Lol “made it up” because he wanted to make his sex count higher. It just so happens to spill into him actually cheating on you. Also, don’t stay with him because of a sunk cost fallacy. Bette to know now while you’re still young.

    Just because you’re thirsty, doesn’t mean you should drink poison.

    I wouldn’t doubt some of these girls are young too.

  7. StraightRide7326 Avatar

    Girl.. if he was because he was ashamed if front of other guys or something he would have make a story in front of them not having an entirely notebook hidden in your house..

    And for the « wasting 10 years of your life like that » if he actually cheated on you then you are saving your first divorce. You are ONLY 27!!!

  8. rissbru Avatar

    So y’all started dating at 17 and 22? I fear you’re a victim here and just haven’t known any different. If this man was willing to groom a teenager like that then I’m sure he’d have no problem taking it a step farther to cheat on you. I’m sorry sis but I’d get out now before you make legal ties or have kids…

  9. GenoFlower Avatar

    >He told me he made it up because he has always been ashamed of his low sex count and wanted to make it look higher.

    He wanted the secret little black book to think he was cooler? I mean, this is stupid.

    So it had dates and all? If he wanted to look cooler, why would he make up dates that implied he cheated on you? Why not just add names and dates from before you met if he was padding the numbers?

    And if you break up, it’s not a waste of 10 years. You take things from every relationship. You learn things. You’ve been with him a long time, and it certainly hasn’t all been bad, right?

    And definitely test.

  10. Dapper_Bag_2062 Avatar

    Wow he couldn’t think of a better lie?

  11. Competitive_Tale_799 Avatar

    He’s lying. You dont make up a fake sex diary for yourself. You might make an inflated or deflated one to backup stories to a new relationship (Im not a virgin! I haven’t slept with triple digits! Etc.).