I’ll leave out all unimportant details as I am not really in the mood to tell the whole story, but it’s disappointing to day the least. My brother had a lot of mental health issues and we lost him to that battle and now he’s gone.
This has been hardest in my mother of all people. My best friend and I are very close so I am still pissed at her for lying to me all this time, like why didn’t she just tell me before. My friend has a history of playing games with guys and sleeping around so I am sure that’s why she didn’t tell me.
I never knew she was messing with my brother. When we buried my brother she was grieving so hard and I found it kind of odd since she did know him, but she wasn’t super close with him like that.
I knew she was pregnant as she is about 4 or 5 months along. She told me she never knew who the father was (she was in fact sleeping around). After he passed away she came clean and said she knew he was the father because he’s the only guy she slept with unprotected. She looked so certain when she told me too and she apologized.
She said she never wanted to tell me because she knew I would be pissed if she got involved with my brother and I am because I know how she is. How can I verify that she is in fact pregnant by my brother? Since we can’t do a DNA test with the baby and my brother…
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If she is telling the truth, it sounds like she would be willing to compare the baby’s DNA with your family’s DNA and find the relation.
You can still get a DNA test. They run the sample from the baby against that of a close relative of the potential father (full sibling, parent, or other child).
You can’t verify it. Not til the baby is born. My guess is if you ask for a paternity test then, her reaction will tell you everything you need to know. If she’s like, “Yep. Let’s do it” then great. Maybe it will help your parents to have a piece of your brother to still love on. But if she balks at the paternity test, there’s your answer. She either knows it’s not his or she’s not sure if it’s his.
You can’t? That is an impossible ask. If she wants to do a DNA test to verify for possible child support, that’s up to her.
Check his phone, check his messages, check his social media to see if they have been in contact and get a DNA test.
You can do a paternity test while the mom is pregnant. If she’s claiming it’s his id expect proof, and I’d expect her to be fourth coming too. If she won’t come forth with a dna test I may be inclined to hire a family attorney
Do your brother have a hair brush or toothbrush still available for use for testing.
There’s now prenatal DNA tests that only require the mother’s blood. It’s not cheap, last I checked it was around $1000, but the price could have come down. You’d need you or your parents to give a sample for comparison. This likely won’t be counted as a legal test for the court, but it would at least let you guys know now.
First, my sincere condolences on your loss. This is a devastating tragedy for you and your family that no one should have to go through.
Spare your family any further drama and heartache until you know for a fact the baby is your brother’s.
When the baby is born, get a paternity test with your dna as the comparison.
Keep this between you and your friend until you get the results.
There are a few things to for you to consider if the baby is your brother’s. I am not sure how it works, but the baby may be entitled to what little social security (as death benefits) that your brother may have had even though he was so young when he passed. Other than that, my guess is there isn’t any estate assets due to his young age, but even so I would expect that after debts (funeral, medical etc) there would be nothing left for the baby. I bring this up because it would not be unexpected for your friend to ask about it on behalf of the baby.
If the baby is your brother’s, I would highly suggest that you remain on good terms with your friend if you or anyone in your family want to be a part of the baby’s life. There is very likely no legal remedies to force visitation — but I do recommend that if this is the case you consult with an attorney to find out any rights your family may have should she deny visitation.
In the end, at this point, please consider that the baby is innocent and none of us are perfect. Baby mama is learning a very hard lesson right now and this lesson won’t be over for a very long time.
Protect your peace, but keep an open mind considering this innocent baby may be your niece or nephew.
She’s your friend. A supportive if it’s your brother’s nor not. Be happy if it turns out you have a part of your brother. This is not about you.