I’m sure this has been asked but how did your life change for the better between your 20s and 30s? People are always making their 30s seem like the hard stop when it comes to fun and freedom. I’m 25 and I want something to look forward to. So far adulthood has only brought me food intolerance, reflux, and bills.
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Your 30s or any decade really are what you make them. For me, my 30s were pure freedom. I accepted and embraced my singlehood and moved from “woe as me” to “I’m not letting it stop me”. In my 20’s I’d never been outside the US. Now, I’ve been to 9 countries and hopefully 2 more next year. Honestly, my 30’s were my best decade (the bummers of the pandemic years aside, of course)
Gluten intelorant but more self confident, self aware, I have more solid boundaries, I care a little less and I have way more fun
In our 30s, my friends and I all started earning way more than we did in our 20s (particularly once student loan repayment was no longer a problem) and it makes things like trips, dinners, and gift giving much more fun when there wasn’t one or two gals struggling to make ends meet. In my 30s I feel more confident in myself and my abilities. I got married, had a baby, cut off harmful relationships, started pursuing hobbies I hadn’t had time for when I was grinding in my 20s, and went back to school for a masters/career change. There’s so much good stuff left! And now in my 30s I have a lot of friends in their 40s who I’ve met through my kid’s school, etc. and they are all enjoying the hell out of life too.
Everything in my life got better honestly. I’m 38 now and each year has been better and better. I’m wiser. I’m more experienced. I make more money. I’ve healed and grown a lot from the trauma of my childhood and 20s. My friendships have deepened.
I’m turning 32 this fall.
The good:
The bad:
My frontal lobe developed so I don’t have social anxiety anymore and my confidence is insane
I learned what I need to be truly happy, and I am waaay more confident in knowing myself. All super helpful in order to live a fulfilling life.
Oh, I also make adult money now and as my partner and I don’t have kids yet, we get to just enjoy it. We own two flats in London, have a gorgeous miniature dachshund and have wonderful friends who we get to enjoy life with.
My 20s was a plethora of trying to make people like me, caring if my boobs looked “too saggy” in clothes, feeling guilty for not spending more time with family, zero clue wtf I was doing at work AND I was in a long term relationship that wasn’t right for me. UGH. I am so sad when I think about 20-something me. She didn’t know what happiness was. Everything works out if you follow your gut, and all I’ll say is to just focus on what makes you truly happy, as long as that doesn’t harm you or anyone else.
YES!
I started getting better with adulting in my 30s. I am talking about the little things, like having the discipline to put my keys in a dedicated location so that I wouldn’t have to spend ten minutes every morning looking for them. Or remembering that Wednesday is trash day, so on Tuesday evening you need to take out the trash so you don’t have to do a mad scramble in the morning, right after you have been searching for your keys. I was still a disorganized slob in my 30s. But the crises I suffered from all the time in my 20s due to my disorganization dwindled dramatically once I got to my 30s.
I was also making much more money in my 30s. When you have money, problems don’t stress you out as badly.
But also problems don’t stress you out as badly because you are smarter, or at least you should be. Like, the first time I got stranded on the highway in my 20s, I had no idea what to do. I didn’t have a cell phone. My parents lived hundreds of miles away. So of course I was crying like a baby. But as a 30-something I knew what to do.
Life doesn’t get objectively easier with age. Life can get way more complicated as a person accumulates responsibilities and burdens. Raising kids is way harder than taking care of pets. Being a responsible homeowner is harder than renting a studio apartment. Succeeding at the corporate rat race is harder than going through the motions at your typical fast food job.
But I think we become stronger and more capable as we get older.
More money, fun, travel, hobbies, and freedom. That said life is what you make of it so if you’re not happy with where your life is now it’s on you to make active steps to change that.
I turned 39 this year and can my 30’s have been the best years of my life! More Financial stability and mental stability for myself.
More money, an actual healthy relationship, moved to a bigger apartment in a city that better suits my lifestyle, peak physical shape
When I was 29 I started getting my finances in a better position. I wanted to be able to travel and reduce my financial stress, which I did by becoming debt free and keeping my expenses low. At 31 I met my husband; now at 38, we travel annually, we’re childfree, have a great social life, and our finances are in great shape. Of course we each have our small issues, but overall, we’re in great shape (thankfully) and enjoying our day to day.
So much freedom. If you want to settle and have kids that’s a different story. Totally cool to still want to have a family.
I’m personally edging towards no kids and perfectly fine with it. I just don’t see myself being a mom.
You can impact your environment in other ways.
It’s been a while but I loved my 30s. I married my best friend, and we had loads of fun (still are). My 20s were okay but I was quite lonely.
I got a divorce.
The pandemic happened after I turned 30 and it’s been some of the worst years of my life tbh. But the 3 months before March 2020 were fantastic. I really felt like all the hard work I’ve been doing in my twenties was finally paying off 😁
I’m 39 and have really taken a hold of my mental health by finding the right meds, consistently eating right, exercising, drinking plenty of water, and doing yoga. I’m also giving less and less fux the older I get.
I also am appreciating aging gracefully. The other day I saw a promo pic of Jamie Lee Curtis, and she looks absolutely beautiful with gray hair and no filler/Botox.
I enjoy life better as I got older.
Work: more income means more possibilities. I know what I want from my job, what I am good at, and what my worth is – making picking the right job, asking for a better salary, and putting boundaries in work/life balance way easier. I feel confidant in my job instead of an imposter like the first few years, and that is just way less taxing.
In general: caring way less what other people think. Knowing myself better and knowing what does and doesn’t work for me. Also way less taxing.
Also: seeing my dreams slowly take form. Actively looking to buy a house – I never thought I’d be able to do it this soon! Making progress in writing a book, instead of always dreaming but never doing. Booking writing vacations.
Emotional regulation is better. I know I can get up after I fall, because I did so many times.
I’m in my 40s and 30 was absolutely not a hard stop on fun and freedom for me. I’m having the time of my life. Yes, there’s adult responsibilities to deal with, that can be really hard sometimes, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed – but all the good things in life don’t just vanish because you turn 30.
Personally, I am way more comfortable in my own skin, and confident in myself, than I ever was in my 20s. I deal with all the “adult” things that I have to because that’s life, but that’s not what I focus on. My energy goes into building the life that I want, and IDGAF what “society” or anyone else has to say about that. I live my life my own way and I’m happy. If I want something to look forward to, I create something. Be it small (coffee with a friend or a new movie or book coming out that I’m excited about), or big (world trip).
I believe you can change your life for the better at any point. A “big” birthday seems to be a catalyst for that for a lot of people (a natural reflection time, I guess) to stop and take stock of their lives and what they want, but you can do this at any time. Life is too short. If you’re not happy now, don’t wait for a date on a calendar to start making changes. Do it now.
I have answered these questions before in detail and then realized, none of my story applies to OP. Everyone’s life is different, but, you can do whatever you want with your 30s that you can do with your 20s, plus whatever you build in the 5 years from now til then.
For me, my 20s frugality became a 30s financial cushion, and my 20s emotional neglect became a 30s crisis for a while, until I invested in my healing and learning.
You definitely don’t become an adult for free. But 5 years is plenty of time for small, incremental investments in your growth to pay big dividends, starting with the belief that life ‘happens to you,’ vs being an open-world game you play any way you choose to.
I think as you get older you experience more out of life, the good and bad, so you can really distinguish and appreciate those good times more. And you have the resilience to get through the bad and know you’ll be ok.