It’s no surprise women are opting out of dating men when even those who earn less still don’t pitch in with chores… so what’s the solution if we’re just going to keep expecting women to do everything?
Not for nothing, but it just sounds like…she wasn’t straight? And then dated someone who was a better partner and also fit within the bounds of who she was attracted to.
Every single queer person I know had a chunk of their life where they thought they were straight. And while heteronormativity is a genuine issue that robs people of knowing their full selves earlier in life, this doesn’t really seem to be what this article is getting at. Honestly, I’m not sure what the author is trying to convey at all.
(Well, I have a pretty good idea: The profile subject is the author of a new buzz-y book, and this whole piece is part of the marketing rollout.)
I am incredibly happy for her. But it does feel like a white woman left her husband, found a dope Black Wife, and is possibly acting like she invented Bisexuality via Economics. I find this especially interesting in the section where she talks about doing chores and tasks for her wife, vs. for her husband.
She acknowledges that she would do things like steam her husband’s shirt before work, and it would feel like an obligation under patriarchy. But when she does it for her wife, it’s a loving care task. I struggle to see how this is an exclusive issue of her shitty ex being a man vs. her shitty ex being shitty.
And, again: I fully recognize that what’s being alluded to here is how the grand majority of men are socially comfortable withbeing shitty partnersand see no strong need to change their ways. I think we all agree on this, and that’s basically what the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” is about as well, just from a different angle. Straight men are rarely encouraged to seek out self-improvement or externalizing care as ways to exist, or things that are worth prioritizing to get what they want in life.
(Unlike any other minority group, who has to learn ways to coexist and win the favour of the majority to survive.)
I dunno. I’m not articulating my thoughts perfectly here, and I’d love to be called out if any of my takes are wildly incorrect here. But it just feels like a lady needed to apply numbers and logic to explain why she was finally comfortable choosing queerness over a hetero relationship. It feels…reductive? Rationalize-y? A third thing?
This is a pretty specific version of having it all. The economics are not surprising. There has been cultural consensus on lesbians being the most effective romantic duo for as long as I can remember.
My partner and I slog through chores with equal unwillingness and resign. Being child free has allowed a degree of casualness with housekeeping and scheduling that we both value. I don’t know, I just want to advocate that having it all doesn’t have to look like constant productivity and life optimization. If it makes you happy, by all means grab the reins. But like neither of us have steamed a shirt in my memory and we do still love each other.
I thought this was such an interesting (albeit unsurprising read) and it was gratifying to see the arguments that many folks have made about how the domestic workload impacts their approach to partnering and dating bear out with data.
I’m mostly straight, and I have long said that the requirement for a partner is that they have to make less work for me in my life. If, overall, their presence just brings more labor to my plate, then its a past. It’s a surprisingly hard bar to pass (for men). Most straight men create work for their partners and do not ease their labor in the slightest.
I read stories like this a feel very lucky. My husband isn’t perfect (neither am I) but he is unquestionably a net positive in my life and our children’s lives. He’s kind, funny, hot, is a better cook than me by a mile and does all the laundry for a family of 5.
I would never date someone just for political reasons. And stop the co-sleeping. Seriously I don’t care who you are but it’s sad to date someone for reasons other than your desire to be with someone. And co-sleeping can kill a baby
Another economist crunched the numbers and stopped dating women and he’s never been happier.Blah, blah, none this is helping. None of these stories are fixing the problem.
Comments
It’s no surprise women are opting out of dating men when even those who earn less still don’t pitch in with chores… so what’s the solution if we’re just going to keep expecting women to do everything?
Not for nothing, but it just sounds like…she wasn’t straight? And then dated someone who was a better partner and also fit within the bounds of who she was attracted to.
Every single queer person I know had a chunk of their life where they thought they were straight. And while heteronormativity is a genuine issue that robs people of knowing their full selves earlier in life, this doesn’t really seem to be what this article is getting at. Honestly, I’m not sure what the author is trying to convey at all.
(Well, I have a pretty good idea: The profile subject is the author of a new buzz-y book, and this whole piece is part of the marketing rollout.)
I am incredibly happy for her. But it does feel like a white woman left her husband, found a dope Black Wife, and is possibly acting like she invented Bisexuality via Economics. I find this especially interesting in the section where she talks about doing chores and tasks for her wife, vs. for her husband.
She acknowledges that she would do things like steam her husband’s shirt before work, and it would feel like an obligation under patriarchy. But when she does it for her wife, it’s a loving care task. I struggle to see how this is an exclusive issue of her shitty ex being a man vs. her shitty ex being shitty.
And, again: I fully recognize that what’s being alluded to here is how the grand majority of men are socially comfortable with being shitty partners and see no strong need to change their ways. I think we all agree on this, and that’s basically what the “Male Loneliness Epidemic” is about as well, just from a different angle. Straight men are rarely encouraged to seek out self-improvement or externalizing care as ways to exist, or things that are worth prioritizing to get what they want in life.
(Unlike any other minority group, who has to learn ways to coexist and win the favour of the majority to survive.)
I dunno. I’m not articulating my thoughts perfectly here, and I’d love to be called out if any of my takes are wildly incorrect here. But it just feels like a lady needed to apply numbers and logic to explain why she was finally comfortable choosing queerness over a hetero relationship. It feels…reductive? Rationalize-y? A third thing?
The economist’s wife seems amused by the whole science-ism of the venture:
>“People use evidence to either validate or confirm what they already know,” she observes.
This is a pretty specific version of having it all. The economics are not surprising. There has been cultural consensus on lesbians being the most effective romantic duo for as long as I can remember.
My partner and I slog through chores with equal unwillingness and resign. Being child free has allowed a degree of casualness with housekeeping and scheduling that we both value. I don’t know, I just want to advocate that having it all doesn’t have to look like constant productivity and life optimization. If it makes you happy, by all means grab the reins. But like neither of us have steamed a shirt in my memory and we do still love each other.
I mean this just means she’s bi or lesbian? What else is there to see
I thought this was such an interesting (albeit unsurprising read) and it was gratifying to see the arguments that many folks have made about how the domestic workload impacts their approach to partnering and dating bear out with data.
I’m mostly straight, and I have long said that the requirement for a partner is that they have to make less work for me in my life. If, overall, their presence just brings more labor to my plate, then its a past. It’s a surprisingly hard bar to pass (for men). Most straight men create work for their partners and do not ease their labor in the slightest.
There are lesbians by birth. And lesbians by design.
I read stories like this a feel very lucky. My husband isn’t perfect (neither am I) but he is unquestionably a net positive in my life and our children’s lives. He’s kind, funny, hot, is a better cook than me by a mile and does all the laundry for a family of 5.
r/sapphicpropaganda
I would never date someone just for political reasons. And stop the co-sleeping. Seriously I don’t care who you are but it’s sad to date someone for reasons other than your desire to be with someone. And co-sleeping can kill a baby
Another economist crunched the numbers and stopped dating women and he’s never been happier.Blah, blah, none this is helping. None of these stories are fixing the problem.