Me (F30)and my bf (M30)have been together for some time now(1year) , and their best friend (NB35) is practically jealous and nosy all the time about what we do, how much time we spend together, how often we text, basically everything. Recently they’re trying to pull some awful manipulation game, saying stuff like they are being abandoned and that more attention should be given to them cause they’ve been there before I was, then they scold my bf for texting me too much. Obviously my bf has set some boundaries to all this, and they have apologised for everything but I honestly feel anxious about how this will affect us in the future, I really don’t understand what they fucking need or why they think they own someone’s energy and time ?! Apart from that I just can’t feel comfortable around them at all.
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Because your “friend” has a personality disorder – no empathy, no boundaries, no insight, no sense of self, trying to sabotage and destroy other people’s happiness, manipulative, attention seeking, destructive, inannappropriate. How many cues do you need that this person is a bad person? Boyfriend and you need to cut contact with this person immediately. It will never change.
Actually… it’s not about you or your partner, really. This person’s got their own stuff going on, likely feeling left out or insecure. They’re lashing out because they can’t handle their own feelings. It’s toxic for everyone involved, so cutting contact is the smart move. But have you thought about how much of this is them needing attention instead of you giving it?
Something’s off with this friend of his. Everyone here is in their 30s… And this person is upset that your BF has a priority of you.
How much you two text is none of their concern.
This person is going to blow a fuse once you two start living together or end up married. How dare your BF go out for dinner with his wife. Oh great, they have a baby now. Just going to prioritize the baby over me, huh?
Its weird to be obsessed with someone’s life like this. Not sure what they believe to happen when couples start building a life together…
Hopefully your BF has set some strict boundaries and put this person on a short leash or started creating distance.
You’re not alone in this, dealing with someone who feels entitled to your time and energy is exhausting… um, and honestly? It’s not your job to cater to their insecurities. Your relationship deserves space to breathe without this drama creeping in, and you’ve already taken the first step by setting boundaries. What matters most is that you’re both growing stronger together, which you are, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.