There were things I let slide and red flags I ignored and I blame myself for that, but I did not expect her to go that low.
One of the guys from her male friend group must have felt bad and eventually told me about it. He sent me the screenshots of some of the texts and told me about the things she said, which included some nice shit talking aswell.
When I confronted her, she apologized, but mostly defended herself. I cut her off.
Finding out your long-time friend has been sharing sensitive and personal information about you, and letting men you barely know, objectify you, is a major gut punch.
Obviously, she has shared her secrets with me aswell over the years and those were always safe with me. Although, I’d lie if I said I’m feeling like keeping my dignity and being the bigger person in this scenario.
I am fucking disgusted by her.
Comments
You can be the bigger person and still tell the truth.
Yo I’m sorry this happened to you, truly. I hope you find better friends and heal from this. It can be quite traumatic.
As you grow up you start to realize that the vast majority of people arent truly your friends. Finding someone you can trust someone who reflects what real friendship means is rare. Extremely rare. And even when that kind of connection happens it doesnt just appear its built slowly through risks, time, and shared experiences.
That’s one of the reasons I no longer have friends and why Im not looking for any. I lost the only two people I was truly close to friendships that lasted over ten years for meaningless stuff like drugs.
Im saying this to you becouse 10 years is alot of time. Its everything so in the future if you still want friends be selective. Very selective. Maybe now you see this as just another experience along the way but at the end of your life i guess youll regret every single second you spent with these creatures.
What a snake. Good riddance. Sorry that happened but glad someone told you ffs
Good for you in keeping your own standards. 👍You are absolutely right in not letting her make you into a worse person than you want to be.
Snakes need consequences, since your friendship is over I’d let her friend group know what a snake she is and ghost her.
Whatever excuse she used to defend herself use when she comes asking you why you share her secrets.
I’m so sorry this happened. I’ve got a bunch of fun diagnoses, so I’ve been shit-talked a lot behind my back. You know what I wish? That they would just tell me! Just say, “yo, I don’t think we can friends.” I would be hurt, but I’d understand. Instead, my trust gets trampled on and I get to spend the next weeks / months / years questioning myself. What did I do wrong? Why didn’t I see the signs? Was it our whole friendship or just part of it?
And the worst part is, most of the time, an adult conversation would have solved the problem. It’s so heartbreaking and frustrating.
you’re stronger than me cuz I’d crash tf out T-T it feels so performative that she specially wanted to let her male friend group know about your life, while making sure they had a negative view of you with the shit talking. She’s not a girls girl, and probably used your secrets to ingratiate herself further in this male friend group. She either used you to show how different she is from other girls to be on of the guys or just wanted to show how much better she is than other girls. There is no way she’s genuinely sorry if she’s holding these kind of sentiments. It sucks because she used you to perform for the male gaze 🙁 please don’t let that delusional fool back into your life because there will be people who won’t put you down to make themselves look or feel better about themselves!! You deserve better than this (also feel free to correct me on my assumptions too! I can only assume cuz I haven’t seen the messages)
Sounds like my ex best friend of around a decade and one of the best things I ever did for my mental health was cutting her off. I think you made the right decision.
Good riddance! She is not your friend!