A month ago I (24m) met a girl (21f) at a house party. We got along quickly and she asked me to stay. We ended up having sex. It was my first time, I told her and she took the lead. I ended up being unable to get hard and didn’t finish, but I still made sure to take care of her we did some hand stuff. It overall went well but we kinda fell out of touch for a month. During that month I felt very insecure about my performance, I even worried that she only had sex with me cause she felt bad I was a virgin. I know I was being kinda silly.
The other day she calls me out of the blue and asks me to come over. We end up just hanging out and talking all night. We drank a little and started making out but we both agreed to stop there because we were drunk.
Inexplicably she called me again tonight and invited me over tomorrow. this time explicitly with the intention of having sex and now I’m nervous. I told her both times that I don’t really know what I’m doing but she told me that it seemed like I did and she wanted to see what else I could do to her. I feel a lot of pressure to perform well, I’m worried that I won’t be able to get an erection, I’m worried I’ll get nervous again. Is there anything I should know going into this? What can I do to be less nervous? I know she likes me enough to invite me over a 3rd time but I sort of feel like this is my last chance to do a good job.
Comments
Stop thinking and just go with the flow. Worst thing you can do is stay in your head. It may not lead to sex. It may lead to a mutually good experience for you both.
Don’t over think it. See it as going around a friends house for a casual catchup and let things happen naturally
crank one out before you go, trust me. when you get into the moment dont think just do. your body knows what to do, dont confuse it with thinking.
Stop turning sex into a test you have to ace she’s already into you, not some perfect performance. Confidence isn’t about knowing exactly what to do, it’s about being present, listening, and making her feel wanted and trust me, that’s what she’ll remember most.
maybe spend some time getting to know her better. don’t let her or yourself pressure you just to have sex, especially if you’re nervous. say what you’re feeling. if she gets weird about it, leave. if she cares, she’ll care about your feelings and experience. don’t silence yourself. communication and bonding are truly everything for an amazing experience
just enjoy it bruv 😭🙏
Totally normal to feel nervous. She clearly likes you she came back. Focus on connecting, not performing. Talk a little take your time and don’t treat it like a final exam you’ve got this
“I feel a lot of pressure to perform well”
Why? Your goal should be to orgasm during intercourse.
She already knows you’re inexperienced, and she clearly likes you, at least enough to invite you back over.
Men think of sex performance as a test or some kind of measure a lot more than women do. Just ask her what she likes, or what she wants to do, and go from there. It’s not pass/fail. Everyone starts somewhere, right? No one is born a rock star or a pro athlete. They have to learn and practice, and get good at what they do. Sex is the same.
You’ll be fine. 🙂
She doesn’t care if you “perform” dude she just wants to be intimate with you. She doesn’t care that you’re inexperienced, and she doesn’t even care that you couldn’t get hard before. If she did she wouldn’t have hit you up again. She probably likes the fact that you’re inexperienced honestly.
When someone is really into you, they are easy to please. The only thing that can fuck this up are your own self-doubts.
Also maybe go easy on the alcohol, because that can make it difficult to get hard for some people. And don’t jerk off before meeting up as someone else commented. That is a fucking horrible idea and something you’d only consider if you’re prone to busting early, which you clearly aren’t.
If things are going too fast, just ask her to slow down. Take charge of the situation. If you feel like you’re in control you’re less likely to freak out.
You’re too self conscious. Everything you say is about you. What about the deep warmth love and gratitude you should feel that someone wants you?
Go down on her, find her clit (the bump near the top of the flower) and get gay with it. Like suck it, lick it, or put preassure on it by lightly humming while gently using your fingers. Sounds weird af I know but the better you perform for a girl, the crazier she gets. You wouldn’t believe the things a woman is capable of when turned on. You’ll want to start everything semi slow and see how she reacts to different levels of penetration too, some girls can go balls deep like a magic pocket and some can find it painful all the way in depending on position. But this is where forplay comes in handy, while fingering her you’ll actually be probing for the G spot. The G spot can be in different areas for different girls but thats why you pay attention to her body like a lock picker you have to judge differences in her breathing pattern, body behavior, and above all facial reaction. Once you know where the g spot is you just start slow then work your dick like you’re playing a violin with her g spot as the cord. Try different speeds and thrusting lengths but hit that shit in a rhythmic manner. You can make a girl cum multiple times but only if she really wants it, so pay attention and do it for her the happier she is the easier she’ll get an orgasm and trust me she’ll return the favor. Also the biggest thing, don’t be afraid to ask how things feel, it’s amazing to not need to but it’s more important to do it right. Also ask if she’s comfy, put a pillow under her head if you’re on top and give her a pillow to lay on when your hitting it from behind. And after make sure to cuddle, but also ask if she wants a drink. Then make sure to cuddle until it naturally concludes but it better be long enough she feels like you appreciate her
Well, at least it is perfectly clear what she wants.
Everything we do is based out of our desire to receive. Whether it’s desire for food, sex, family, money, honor, knowledge, power, it’s all about receiving for ourself. That’s just the way everything is made.
Just enjoying the qualities of others outside of any demands…..That is love…….
If someone wants something from you that is not acceptance or love. That is their self desire which you can never satisfy.
Only when they like you for you, plain and simple, no demands and no manipulation. Like to just be around you then coming closer means something.
Stand your ground and you will begin to build a nourishing environment that will satisfy you and others without demands.
Be polite and say no thank you.
Are you sexually attracted to her?
don’t overthink it, just make sure you’re both on the same page!
Bro. This woman is repeatedly asking you to have sex with her. Clearly she’s getting something out of this. Relax, have fun, stop looking at it as some sort of hurdle to get over. Just ya know wear protection and be smart. Consent is key.
Mate she invited you again. You did a Grade A+ job, relax and be confident in yourself. You’re great and you will be fine… apparently more than fine!
Sounds like you’re over thinking it alot. I think the big telling point is SHE called you, not the other way around. Believe me, girls have the pick of litter when it comes to this stuff, so the obvious sign is that she wants you for you.
Take your time, be honest, and focus on her. If you’ve been struggling with getting it up, then give her extra foreplay (girls love getting head just as much as guys do), finish her with extra foreplay. This is the one thing ive learned with sex in my 29 years, make sure she can go and tell her friends that she’s never had a guy eat her for as long as you did. Do that, and she’ll make sure to suck your soul through your . . .
Best of luck, just don’t put any pressure on yourself. Be there, be in the moment, and enjoy it
Take a viagra mate
You be like a rock star
PERFORMANCE ANXIETY
You definitely have the anxiety part.
Chill out bro.
Modern day feminism made sex so complicated for men. You need consent for every smallest action.
You are definitely overthinking this.
She likes you. A lot.
Most guys when they can’t perform get angry and storm off. You took care of her instead! That’s rare. She knew right there and then that you were special.
The next time you didn’t want to do anything because you’d both been drinking. Again, that’s rare. (It shouldn’t be, but it is.) That’s when she decided you were a keeper.
You just carry on being you. You sound awesome.
Bro I got you!! Go to a vape shop and buy 2 honey packs over the counter..jerk off in the shower before you leave the house ..eat the honey packs on the way to her house..your sex game and mental game going to be on point I promise u..
Bro just do missionary and just do slow hip thrusts. Also make her play with your nipples if you can’t get a hard on. If that doesn’t work then drink a viagra. Just enjoy the moment and dont forget to bring protection.
Sounds like a serious case of performance anxiety. But you’re already half way there cuz she keeps coming back. Maybe it’s best if YOU have a couple glasses of wine before you see her, loosen up. Enjoy.
Honey packs are the only way
She invited u over multiple times, she’s already interested in u. Stop overthinking it and be your self. Everything will happen more naturally. Continue to b the truth at least she doent mind that ur not experienced so no pressure keep the communication open and direct. Don’t be nervous it’s only a female and understand she already wants u more than u wanted her.
Relax and stay in the moment. Most mature girls understand nerves can cause issues with an erection.
Man you are looking at this the wrong way. You’ve hit the lottery. She’s contacting you. Remember that. If she wasn’t enjoying it I promise she would not be calling you. Just relax and enjoy. Be upfront and ask questions. Learn from her. She knows your new so it makes it easier to ask her blatant questions on how to get her off. She can’t hurt your feelings by saying your bad at something your doing because you have no clue. Seriously, man, take advantage of the situation. it’s a rare one. Be safe!
If you were 60 and had the opportunity to rewind time and be in this situation, what would you do?
be confident man, easier said than done but you know the saying ‘fake it till you make it’. gas yourself up and tell yourself you’ve got this and dont overthink it or anything. she clearly isn’t giving you pitty sex just because you’re inexperienced, so get that out of your mind and you’ve been transparent with her that you’re inexperience so she’s not going to expect you to be a master of the arts. also, be careful with the alcohol, might seem like a good idea to help the nerves but whiskey dick is very real (you can’t get it up after drinking). good luck brother 🫡
Send location, i’ll go if you’re scared.
Back sure to do a check up on kidney function afterwards