So yeah, pretty much the title.
I (26F) was walking to a bus stop from a work meeting today, and it started raining. A guy saw me from behind, ran towards me and said, “Excuse me, do you want me to help?”
I initially said no, but then he pulled the umbrella on top of both of us, and told me that it’s absolutely pouring. I said thanks, and how I appreciated the gesture.
He was much taller than I. So finally, when I looked up to him and smiled after thanking him, he was sort of shocked to see my face. I’m not the most traditionally attractive woman out there, but honestly, I don’t think I look that bad aside from a few unflattering moles, my awkward “teaching” glasses that I use at work, and a bit of a double chin. Also it was a no makeup day for me, because I was tired.
So yeah, he took back his offer, just muttered, “Nevermind” and walked away.
So yeah. Not exactly a confidence booster.
Comments
he was only doing something nice in hopes of you doing something in return. and due to his reaction, i think we all know what he was expecting. why can’t people just be nice – to be nice 🙁
Wow, what an ass. Didn’t even try to hide it😡
Yep, has happened to me.
as a guy I am speechless, I only thought this childish toxic behavior exists in ”bro” fictional jokes, never imagined it can happen in real life! pretty sure that clown identify as ” the nice guy” who can’t have a gf!!
I’m sorry that happened. People really can be so awful. Even if someone I consider very unattractive has hit on me I never EVER say anything about their appearance as a reason for my no. I’ll even make myself look like an asshole before I’ll make someone feel ugly. Everyone deserves to feel good about themselves even if they aren’t your cup of tea.
I’m sorry that happened, people suck. As a shrek looking dude, that was a big part of my life, so I get that.
I’m a guy and it truly is mind boggling how rude some people are – sometimes you just do something out of the goodness of your heart, not cause you’re expecting something in return. Like I hold doors for any woman regardless if she’s “ugly” or not
The same thing would’ve happened to what you consider a more “conventionally attractive“ girl if she didn’t reciprocate his advances. Unfortunately, this had absolutely nothing to do with you or how you look at all and everything to do with him acting out of hopes of getting something back and not preforming a true active kindness.
however, if it makes you feel any better, he could’ve absolutely thought you were attractive and was attempting to neg you. For some reason, it’s a new phrase that some guys actually think works, where they intentionally try to bring you down and lower your self-esteem in the hopes that you will beg and plead for their attention. He might’ve been hoping that you were going to yell after him “wait no, come back!” and felt that he himself was ugly when you didn’t. Just another way of thinking.
This is the only up side to being fat. Things like this NEVER happen to us!
honestly dodged a bullet. those men usually throw all kinds of red flags. expecting something just because you were nice is a major red flag and can escalate to other things in a relationship anyway.. a kind interaction being transactional in his mind is yeesh.
pls don’t let a shallow dude mess with your confidence as easier said than done. why would you want someone who didn’t even care to know anything about you affect your mood when something he chases is superficial in the first place?
It sucks but you dodged a bullet tbh. He was already a red flag when he still made the move after you said no. I don’t know a woman that would want a strange man randomly close like that, especially after declining.
sounds creepy. he would def bug u for an insta or smth
Dude, tell us you have ulterior motives without… You know the drill.
This is so nasty. I’m so sorry you went through that. No one deserves to be treated like that
It sounds like you dodged a creepy bullet because he was going to hit on you if you met his expectations which thankfully you didn’t
Tell him, thanks for nothing.
Yep it’s still all men until they prove otherwise. It’s all transactional
I am sorry, this doesn’t sound pleasant. But is it possible that he first asked to help you because he thought you were an acquaintance then realised you’re a stranger?
Only asking because i have been in that position, i saw someone outside our office and started talking about an event we just held, and he had absolutely no idea, that’s when i realised i just stopped someone on the street to talk about some random abbreviations
And I am sure this man thinks he is a nice person and a gentleman 🤦♀️
Don’t base your self-image on an AH tastes
You probably dodged a bullet. Sounds like he doesn’t respect personal space or the word “no.” Plus, he’s an asshole.
Men who are only kind to women that they think are attractive are major red flags.
You dodged a bullet. Fuck him.
What an AH, don’t let that gross human hurt your feelings
I’m sorry this happened to you, girl. Please know this is a him problem not yours. He’s a douche & should be ashamed of himself… have a great weekend!
What an AH.
It’s an important lesson, nice is different than good. Sorry that happened to you.
Both genders do it. I experienced that too
Don’t need a red flag for that.
Feel lucky he showed his true colors to you right away. Feel sorry for the women he decides are attractive. They might be fooled by this ah.
EWWWWWW. What is wrong with people?! Im so sorry that happened to you.
fuck that guy
I’m sorry that happened to you, people are dicks for no reasons. I hope his umbrella breaks 🙂
This is unbelievably insane behavior im so sorry, you didnt deserve this at all.
What a dickhead. I am so sorry. You do not deserve to be treated this way.
wow thats really rude. im sorry that happened to you and its easier said than done but please dont take it personally. that guy was shallow and rude what happened to just doing things out of kindness? 😭
All the times I have been harassed in public it was always by a man. Not always sexual either I have been minding my own bussiness and have had them come up to me to tell me my natural red hair is ugly and I should tan. I could go off really like I dont know why the fuck anyone would just do that??? Seriously I have so many things that have happened it caused me to have social anxiety since I was a kid (random men touching my hair as a child and making comments about the red color) and now im afraid of getting harassed when I go in public i have to mentally prepare myself every single time. I am getting better at standing up for myself though but that can be something on its own as well…ive told people no and have been assaulted. It’s a scary world.
Dodged a bullet
Omg what a jackass.
You were actually SAVED from this horrendous person thanks to your beautiful face. Imagine dating such a guy 😭😭
I’m so sorry he made you feel this way. He’s just horrible!!!!
What??? Who does that?? I’m laughing at this (NOT at you) but the absurdity of it all. This is crazy and fuck that guy. He wasn’t even actually nice just a guy hoping to getting tail. So, congrats, you are an asshole repellent. The nerve of some ppl. Don’t be embarrassed, he should be embarrassed of himself.
No one has ever gone out of their way to flirt with me like that, at least you caught his attention and then you dodged a bullet. Stay confident.
this reminds me of how in my usual garb
(curled hair, full face of makeup, mini skirt, the whole shebang) i usually get 5 star uber ratings. the one time i got in an uber with no makeup, in sweat pants and with my hair in a bun to run to a hardware store, i got a 1 star rating lmao.
or how men will relentlessly hit on me even though i’m married and then when i tell them im 28 (im short and have a baby face) their demeanor immediately changes and i get “oh i thought you were younger.” most of these men look 30-40.
men can be so mean when they dont deem you as sexually viable and yet somehow on the internet we have the message shoved onto us that we get through life easy just because were girls. in reality its kind of scary how some people are only nice to you if they want to have sex with you
It says more about him than about you. He sounds like a total jerk.
Uuuugh my heart feels for you, OP. Not saying you’re going to do this but I really really hope you don’t base anything about yourself based on this man. He wasn’t seeing YOU. He was seeing whatever his perception chose to see. There will be men who find you attractive. Even if you truly don’t see yourself as “traditionally attractive”, us women all deal with this perception of how we should look, because we live in a society. BUT we are ALL more than our physical appearance and besides, that shit ages, literally. Be kind to yourself, value your worth, there are good men out there that would see you as their dream girl. This is what I tell myself and I do believe it, thought it can be hard to remember at times. You aren’t alone! I’m scared to date again and I’m working on feeling proud of who I am. Stay strong! You deserve real true love.
Better to be ugly on the outside than on the inside, that man is a freaking monster. I have extra lbs and am really old. Some people are just mean.
Maybe he thought you were someone else, like someone he knew? – I don’t think it was because he thought you weren’t attractive enough honestly.
Eta – lmao, ok never mind…
My actual reasoning for this comment:
I honestly thought that maybe someone saw OP thinking they knew them from behind & when they saw OP’s face, they realized it wasn’t OP.
I’m really awkward sometimes when seeing people (even people I know)! x10 when it’s an awkward situation w/ a person I thought I knew!
I have literally had this exact thing happen to me (except as the opposite person from OP). I ran up to a person I thought was my coworker, started talking about random bullshit & then they looked at me w/ almost a death stare & I died inside, whispered to myself “fuck” & walked very slowly so they would walk ahead of me… It was shameful & I kicked myself in the ass for not saying “I’m sorry, I thought you were someone else”!
I forgot Reddit is so black & white… I honestly feel sorry that you went through that & felt bad about yourself as a result. I was merely trying to give another point of view for what may have happened. I hope that you realize that beauty is subjective & that even though a lot of people have a spoon fed idea of beauty, there’s also so many people in the world who find beauty in things other than physical characteristics.
That’s says more about him and what’s wrong with him, than you
Oh hey! It’s a “nice guy” 🙄
This is literally why these “gentlemen” are terrorizing women by holding open doors or even saying “Hello”.
They don’t do it for children or men or older ladies or unattractive women…
Every damn thing they do is a dog whistle that they would fuck us.
Otherwise they would just as soon hit us with their car.
This hurts my heart. ♥️ The world is in the toilet. Don’t people ever consider that you’re someone sister, aunt, mother etc. why is it so hard to be nice? It’s infuriating. I’m sorry that happened and pffft, it really gets to me.
What an AH! I’m so sorry you had to experience that. 💜
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Years ago a male friend and I (I’m female) were driving on the freeway and a car basically turned into us and sent us spinning. Luckily, we were able to pull over and no one in either car appeared to be hurt. The young woman who hit us was blonde and skinny and totally methed up. A car full of young guys pulled over and asked if she was ok and if she needed help but didn’t bother to ask me or my friend if we needed anything. They just looked at us and drove off when she said she was fine.
She was so spun out she started fighting with cops when they arrived and she was arrested.
What a piece of work.
his reaction just lets you know he’s only nice so he can get coochie. good riddance. you deserve someone who’s nice because they know it’s the right thing to do, not because they believe they’ll get something out of it. and how much you bet he and his circles will refer to him as a “nice guy” ?
Usual reminder that if a dude who’s hitting on you treats women he’s not attracted to badly, reject him. He doesn’t see you as more than an object and wouldn’t hesitate to dump you if you gain weight, get ill, or any slight superficial change he wouldn’t like in what he doesn’t view as human.
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So how did you fare in the rain after he left with the umbrella? 😭🥲 I hope you’re okay
Fuck that sucks! I’m sorry to hear that.
I’m now 28 (As of today) and ive never been a traditional attractive woman either but somehow I have a boyfriend. Anyways I’ve never had guys cat call me, never had any come up to me and start a convo/ask for my number etc. I was bullied for my looks ALOT because I was a bigger girl (Still am and I have glasses, double chin, look more masculine but I am a female), I remember in grade 7 a boy was pranking me into thinking I was attractive to him, I used to be told “No one will ever love you because of how ugly you are”. I had a bully in particular that tried to force me into stuffing my bra to be more attractive for the boys in our class. I did it once and HATED IT. I just always felt insecure with myself and then one day at 22 I met my boyfriend when he was a new hire at our old job. He was the first guy who was actually genuine about his attraction for me.
Wow I hate men like that.
That’s fucked up, absolutely not something someone should do to another human being.
Some people are just not meant to live in society.
Not exactly a nice guy. You dodged a bullet!
It’s the self proclaimed “nice guy”.
I’m so sorry OP you had to experience that.
Well fuck him. May he never be able to find any umbrella during rainy days
He wanted the Hollies song “Bus stop” to come true.
He wasn’t boosting your confidence. He wanted you to give him sex. He wasn’t being kind. He was manipulating you to think he’s a nice guy and not someone looking for sex.
Don’t let his attempted manipulation make you doubt yourself. You being yourself saved you from him continuing to manipulate you to give him sex.
He is a prick
What an absolute turdnugget.
dumbest thing ever. OP was in the right. he only did that to see if he can hook up with you
He did you a favour by showing you his true colours straight away. Imagine if that one interaction led to a years long abusive gaslight relationship that sapped all your energy and lust for life. Fk that guy, he really is not worth another moments thought except as a cautionary tale.
Honestly I wouldn’t want this kind of person to find me attractive. You dodged a bullet!
No way, what an asshole.
Reminds me of one time a guy did this to me, but when we reached my destination he asked for my number. I declined and then he went mad at me. Men suck.
We’re witnessing the start of a villain
what a pos
And this is why we don’t give nice guys the time of day.
Niceness is a mask. One is only nice to others in order to get some thing.
Kindness is genuine and gives without need of compensation or reward.
This kind of shit has always happened to me. I was at a club once for a bachelorette party, the type of club where there are usually several bachelor and bachelorette parties on any given Saturday. I’m minding my own business and some guy comes up to me and says “hey my buddy is getting married, come do a shot with us!” So I did and then they asked me to sign this bachelor party themed scavenger hunt t-shirt thing the groom was wearing… right next to the item that reads “do a shot with the ugliest girl in the bar.” Most men are just fucking awful.
Hahahaha 🤣🤣🤣
You dodged a bullet. 💖
FUCK HIM. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND HE CAN SHOVE IT.
Men who only are kind to women they perceive as attractive deserve a special place in hell
This is why we must remain unimpressed with men. He showed his true intentions. And if you’re nice to a guy, they assume you want to sleep with them (bc they would never be nice to a woman they didn’t want to sleep with). Guys like this are more common than not. I’m sorry you dealt with that today. He’s an ass.
This is one example of how attractive people are privileged
What an absolute prick.
What a rude man.
I wouldn’t like a stranger coming so close to me that we could shelter under an umbrella together. Rather than it being a Hallmark movie meet-cute, he’s lucky he didn’t get elbowed in the face.
I’m sorry he hurt your feelings. I remember once, a man I’d never met before stared at me for a while, then told me he wasn’t attracted to me but I had a nice rack.
They walk amongst us.
Aww I’m sorry you had to go through that, fuck that guy, i hope his pillow is warm on both sides
Some men unfortunately only treat women well when they find them attractive.
I had something like this happen not too long ago. I was involved in a hobby activity and we were organizing a meetup online. I chatted with this one guy several times. No flirting or anything, just friendly talking about the hobby.
The day of the meetup, we’re all introducing ourselves and he looks at me incredulously and says, “You’re who I’ve been talking to?” I confirmed I was and he looked actually annoyed. I don’t know what he was imagining, but I guess I wasn’t it. I assume being older and married was a mood killer for him. He ignored my existence during the event and we never spoke again.
hey OP: something similar happened to me many years ago. I was walking downtown in my hometown after an argument with my boyfriend at the time. I was feeling like shit. I had tripped and scraped my knees while running for a bus minutes earlier. A random guy in a group of guys behind me called out for me “Hi there!”. I turned around. Random guy: “Oh, never mind.”
I’m telling you this, in case you feel like you are the only person that would experience something like this. I felt confused because on one side i felt like i had dodged a bullet of being harassed, on the other side i thought i must be too ugly to be harassed. This of course isn’t true. It was just some asshole. Don’t dwell on it.
Guys an asshole.
A woman half my height offered to share her umbrella with me. I accepted and told her how grateful I was for the kindness she expressed. It was brief the bus showed in less than a minute or two, but it was not until later did I think about the height difference and the fact she’d hold that umbrella regardless. I’m still glad I thanked her and told her how much I appreciated it.
As for that guy in your case,
Consider it a gift that you were shown transparency in this situation because it wasn’t a true gesture of compassion and generosity. You dodged a bullet.
Sorry OP that was so wrong on many levels on what that guy did.
It was not out of kindness.
Damn, what an asshole.
But honestly, I don’t think it had anything to do with how you look.
It sounds more like he was just set on being a jerk—like one of those guys who asks for directions and then snaps, “I didn’t ask for your life story” or something like that.
Wtf. I’ve offered my umbrella and walked strangers and women friends just to keep them dry from the rain. Not expecting a damn thing back. This guy was a weirdo. Do not let him hurt your feelings for any reason
I’m just intrigued as to what you look like now after telling me that your looks were enough to repel an umbrella and the man holding it….feel free to PM a pic for an honest appraisal.
I refuse to believe that was a reaction to your face. Maybe he pooped his pants and suddenly had to gtfo
You don’t know what was going through his mind. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Also, beauty is on the eye of the beholder.
That’s REAL fucking gross. You dodged a bullet by not spending one more microsecond with him.
pretty privilege is real, how bad that i don’t have it